My 10yo Daughter is Obese

24

Replies

  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    This is a question you should be asking her pediatrician.

    Yep. Kids generally shouldn't eat restricted calories like that, it can inhibit growth. Talk to her doctor to figure out proper portion sizes, how to switch to healthy foods, and how to encourage physical activity.
  • new2locs
    new2locs Posts: 271 Member
    One of the biggest fights my ex husband and I had was the day he told our 7 year old daughter that she was getting fat.
    I grew up with my parents constantly reminding me about my weight, from as young as I can remember. I grew up being overweight and very self conscious despite being active in dance classes 4-5 days every week.

    I'm struggling now with my own weight and in trying to teach my kids about healthy choices. My 8 year old daughter is a little heavy for her height and I've noticed a pattern with her eating because she wants the food, not because she is hungry. I remember feeling as a kid that if I didn't have the food then I was missing out on something good. I don't know how this will turn out in the long run, but my focus with my kids is on making decisions that will help their body work best. We talk about what kinds of things our bodies need in order for everything to function well. When they come home after a weekend at their dad's house and tell me they don't feel good it gives an oportunity to discuss their bodys' reactions to eating junk food all weekend (their bodys' don't like the junk and the "not feeling good" is how the body tells us that).
    Another thing I do with my daughter is to portion her food appropriately for her age and size, then when she asks for seconds I tell her we need to wait a bit to see if her body is really still hungry. Most times she gets distracted with other things and forgets about wanting seconds. At bed time I remind her that she asked for seconds, but when she got distracted with other activities and forgot about eating it was a way to see that she really wasn't hungry and needs to listen to her body.

    I really hate seeing young girls with body image issues, it is so unfair that we do that to them so young. Try hard to focus on being healthy and not on how she looks or what clothes she can or cannot wear. When clothes shopping I never tell my daughter that something makes her look fat, I tell her it isn't a good look for her and find something else she likes just as much that works on her body. We all have different body types and the same style doesn't work for all of us.

    Most important thing for your daughter is to see her parents setting a healthy example.

    Good luck! This is a tough situation but with love you will all get through it!

    I love this response!!!! Kudo's to you!
  • AReasor
    AReasor Posts: 355 Member
    Good job as a parent realizing what huge life altering topic this is for your child. Not all parents do.
  • moujie
    moujie Posts: 229
    She might be about to have a hella growth spurt

    Buy and cook better food to feed her, be more active together. Ride bikes, play soccer, etc.

    Other than that, talk to her doc and see what he says. Please don't give her a complex, it's hard enough being a woman.

    :flowerforyou:

    LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN!!

    Ditto This!!
    IF the doc says something needs to be done then approach it like, as a family you all want to be healthier - do it as a group thing otherwise all she is going to hear are the words "I am fat" repeating in her head.
  • sempertracy
    sempertracy Posts: 50 Member
    My question would be if you exercise or play with her? A few people have mentioned activity, but does she get enough? I wouldn't worry about the weight if she is active (I think they recommend a hour a day for kids) with sports, riding her bike or walking the dog.
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    She looks healthy to me as well.
    I wouldn't do the calorie counting at all and yes 1200 would be WAY too low in my opinion as she's growing.

    I would just serve some healthier meals if you're worried, or get her going on more walks/bike rides.
    You don't want to introduce calorie counting at such a young age.
    She could have a growth spurt too.

    As long as she's not just eating junk and she's getting activity, don't worry about it.
  • UrbanRunner81
    UrbanRunner81 Posts: 1,207 Member
    If you care about her health, replace the junk food in the house with healthy snacks. It is okay to have treats sometimes. It shouldn't be an everyday thing. Get rid of soda.
    If she isn't in sports maybe have her join a team in a sport she interested or take up karate, dance or gymnastics.
    Definitely don't start have her counting calories at such a young age.
  • healthybody74
    healthybody74 Posts: 13
    As a parent, I totally appreciate the concern you have as we want our children to grow up healthy and make the right choices. I would go with the general advice here and talk to a doctor. As a parent, I decide what my young kids eat and make sure it's healthy choices and get them outside to exercise and burn off some energy.

    To the other users here: I believe this parent has the right intentions and is just trying to get more information and advice. It's very difficult as a parent when you are trying to help your child, but don't feel you can or have the knowledge to do so effectively.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    Thanks for all the replies, I will make a DR apt soon here is a pic of her on her Pony just a few weeks ago. As you can see it is not like she is huge or anything but I just want to do what is right fir her now while I still can so she does not end up like me (I was over 400) or her aunt that is 400 plus

    4h-trail-horse3.jpg

    Your child hardly looks obese. The best thing you can do for your child outside of talking to her doctor is to walk the walk. You're here getting your habits together? That is the biggest thing. Showing your kids how to eat healthy foods that are delicious while being active.

    This whole thread feels inappropriate. But, perhaps I'm projecting my childhood experiences onto you. Either way...
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Good job as a parent realizing what huge life altering topic this is for your child. Not all parents do.

    I agree. I also agree that you should get her to a doctor, and start eliminating junk food to rare occasions. Good luck!
  • BeckySue1977
    BeckySue1977 Posts: 91 Member
    She looks healthy to me as well.
    I wouldn't do the calorie counting at all and yes 1200 would be WAY too low in my opinion as she's growing.

    I would just serve some healthier meals if you're worried, or get her going on more walks/bike rides.
    You don't want to introduce calorie counting at such a young age.
    She could have a growth spurt too.

    As long as she's not just eating junk and she's getting activity, don't worry about it.

    I agree with this!
    Calorie counting at 10 years old may be the trigger for much bigger problems later.
    Encourage health, not weight loss.
    Educate on what her body needs to fuel fun things she likes to do and feel good doing it.
    Please don't put her on a "diet"
  • kiachu
    kiachu Posts: 409 Member
    DO NOT get her into counting calories or anything like that or even thinking about being overweight or bad foods and good foods. . Talk to her pediatrician first for direction. Keep her active and since you as the parents are responsible for her food choices and what is available to her in the home. You have to be come the example and you have to keep what she has access to healthy. Don't make it seem like your singling her out, just make a healthy active lifestyle a change in the entire household dynamic and it'll work out.

    :

    I have the opposite problem. Been trying to get weight on my little beanpole since she was born. She looks like a stick figure *L*.
  • Camille0502
    Camille0502 Posts: 311 Member
    I just set up an account for my daughter (11 year old). She is not overweight but obsessed with food. I want to help her see that she is not eating a lot of calories. It also set her up at 1200 calories. A couple weeks back, I looked on line and you can find sites that help determine the calories needs for children (and it is higher than 1200 calories). I plan to do that for her then trick the program into setting her daily her daily goals at that number.

    Note for Myfitnesspal - consider enabling children to establish accounts with their parents' permission and oversight and calculate child-appropriate numbers.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member

    Your child hardly looks obese. The best thing you can do for your child outside of talking to her doctor is to walk the walk. You're here getting your habits together? That is the biggest thing. Showing your kids how to eat healthy foods that are delicious while being active.

    This whole thread feels inappropriate. But, perhaps I'm projecting my childhood experiences onto you. Either way...

    Why is a father worried about his daughter's health and weight inappropriate? I've seen countless mothers post similar threads and everyone on here just rushes to help them and offer advice. Yet this father does the same and people want to criticize or get on his case? :grumble:

    I don't think he once said his daughter was fat. He said that her BMI put her in an unhealthy category and he wanted her to learn better choices. What is the problem with that?????
  • marathon64
    marathon64 Posts: 378 Member
    She looks fantastic! Not sure about if the BMI is the best measure for her? Good luck and keep us posted! :)
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    MFP will not let you have a daily calorie count of less than 1,200. You'd be better advised using a TDEE or BMR calculator to find out her needs.

    False. My daily calories are set to 0. I eat 1800-2200 depending on the day, so I set it to zero because it bothered me to not be accurate every day.

    OP: Focus on feeding her healthy, natural foods. It is hard to over eat when eating fruits, vegetables and lean meats. Changing my eating habits has caused my kids to naturally lose weight because they eat healthier as well.
  • Julyfly70
    Julyfly70 Posts: 59 Member
    Obese? I don't see it at all.
  • bekkaL85
    bekkaL85 Posts: 133 Member
    You need to talk to her doctor about it. He\she will more than likely recommend you to a child nutritionist if there really is a problem. There is something you can do in the mean time if you are that worried. Stop buying junk food and stop ordering fast food. She's 10, which means that for the most part YOU are in control of what she eats. Harsh I know, but it's true. You are in control of her diet because she is a child. Help her, be her sounding board, help motivate her. In the end she will thank you. It's much easier to get it off the younger you are. If mother had done this...well I probably wouldn't be skinny, but I would be further along because I would have learned GOOD habits.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    the possible psychological damage you can do to children by putting them on diets.


    This was my first thought. Don't push it too hard to make her weight an issue. My suggestion for a simply fiz is just do not go out for fast food, or keep junk in the house. Teach her how to cook healthy meals will not only like I said teach but help you bond. Get things with lower sugar (juices, cereals, oatmeal, whatever!) And she will NOT even notice.

    The worst thing my mom did for my self esteem was push my weight as an issue for about as long as I can remember. And I know that since you are asking this question and from what you said you are generally concerned and that is absolutely not a bad thing. Just make it a lifestyle change for the whole family and dont "target" her.

    If you are really concerned, or this doesnt work, take her to a pediatrition and ask. They will know better than us MFPers
  • denaout
    denaout Posts: 2
    Get her on a trampoline, take her to ride her bike, swimming and for long walks. Don't buy any processed or junk foods for her.:happy:
  • _Mimi_
    _Mimi_ Posts: 233
    You should talk to her pediatrician. And be the role model she needs about healthy eating and eating in moderation. Get her (and the rest of the family) up and moving - instead of a family movie night, head to the park to play basketball. Rather than go out for pizza, pack a picnic and go hiking. Small changes to your lifestyle will add up to big benefits for your family.<snip>
    Good luck to you & your family!
    ^^This^^ Especially the more active lifestyle and healthy eating AS A FAMILY! Don't single her out.
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,493 Member
    Growing bodies need more http://www.livestrong.com/article/256927-how-many-calories-should-a-child-be-eating/
  • Fairysoul
    Fairysoul Posts: 1,361 Member
    I can gree with some above posters, just start teaching her about good food choices i.e. fruits veggies meats ect... and listening to her body when it's full. Exercise is great for everyone, but she doesn't have to count cals to be succesful. Just don't buy the junk and if necisary pack her lunches for school!
  • kiachu
    kiachu Posts: 409 Member
    I just hate the idea of children being exposed to calorie counting. They should just freaking eat and not worrying about that! Can you imagine a child question about how many calories is in something or I can't eat something because it has too many calories? And with EDs starting younger and younger...I say stay away.
  • ritasice21
    ritasice21 Posts: 200 Member
    With my daughter she does not "count calories" but she does read them, and yes, at only 11/ I think that it is important for her to learn and understand. I am using my weight loss as a tool for her also. I cook healthier now, so she reaps the benefits there, but when she is at a friends house and eats a 450 calorie cinnamon bun she has to learn that means no sweets at home that day, I think that Dad is most defiantly coming from the right place, even if the means was not correct. For him to see how many calories his child is consuming on an average day would be a useful tool for him. And 10 is not to young to begin teaching serving size vs calories etc. Just keep in mind how you say it. I used "We are all going to start eating healthier to be more fit."
  • arenkel
    arenkel Posts: 77
    I just had to comment... she doesn't look obese. Not by a long shot.

    I gained weight around that age-- and I felt horrible about it. Nobody told me I looked "fat", but I felt it. I was also not exercising and I was making my own meals, which probably contributed. My parents were separated, and my mom had to start working full time plus training hours, so I was on my own a lot.

    I have no idea what my height/weight were, but I had the "belly chub", which your daughter does not appear to have. I'd like to point out that I started making healthier choices and got slimmer and slimmer and then BAM! I grew a few inches and slimmed right down almost immediately. People on here have it right -- just focus on making healthier choices as a family, and she'll be fine.
  • shaydon80
    shaydon80 Posts: 138 Member
    My daughter is 8 and overweight as well. We bought a book called Red Light Green Light Eat Right which is like Weight Watchers in that it assigns a "light" to nutritional value, for example under 100 calories is 1 green light. My daughter has 11 green lights per day (2 breakfast, 1 morning snack, 3 lunch, 2 p.m. snack and 3 supper) and is allowed as much free fuel (fruits and veggies) as she wants throughout the day.
    I think it's great and she is loving it. I think she's happy to feel in control and to have structure. It also has a lot of great tips on talking to kids about their weight, etc. You should have a look at it.
    I can't tell you whether or not we;re seeing results because we only started a few weeks ago. So far, it is successful because she enjoys it.
  • fonitoni
    fonitoni Posts: 98 Member
    In the past when children were overweight, it was typical for the medical community to say to let them grow into their weight. This is no longer the case as today's kids are prediabetic, have high blood lipids, and other harmful medical conditions. It's up to you as her parent to help her to live a more active lifestyle and make good food choices. Many children's hospitals hold fun classes for the family. It is not unreasonable for her to lose a few pounds as she is growing and this can be done without harming her self esteem. I commend you for taking action now to keep weight from being a life long struggle for her.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    so nice to see parents who care about their kids developing good habits at a young age!!!

    That said, I think you and her mother should discuss with her pediatrician what her goals should be. MFP is directed at adults and therefore may not cater to the needs of growing children.

    And of course, lead by example! If you eat well and exercise then she will hopefully learn those habits and incorporate them into her life. Good luck to you and your daughter!
  • RockaholicMama
    RockaholicMama Posts: 786 Member
    She might be about to have a hella growth spurt

    Buy and cook better food to feed her, be more active together. Ride bikes, play soccer, etc.

    Other than that, talk to her doc and see what he says. Please don't give her a complex, it's hard enough being a woman.

    THIS! PLEASE do NOT give this child a complex with weight at such an early age. Talk to her pedi and see what the say. Give her healthy food options. Remember, she's 10, she's still growing and needs good goods to help aide in her growth and development.
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