unsupportive family :(

Anya06
Anya06 Posts: 95
in Health and Weight Loss
I am fed up of little digs my parents make about my weight loss.whenever I see them they will comment 'oh ur are too skinny','still eating your rabbit food','would offer you a pudding but bet thats too many callories in it for you'...and today all of those were topped off by me saying 'oh i got toothache' so mum says 'you are noy making yourself sick as that would make your teethhurt'....no actually its because I am waiting to have my fillings done so obv teeth r hurting
I am so happy I have lost all this weight and I feel better for it and I am at a healthy weight so why make these digs...its annoying me

Replies

  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    Then it sounds like it's time for your to either let them know how hurtful their comments are (and see if they change their behaviour) or move out on your own.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    Tell them that their comments are bothering you, or grin and bear it.

    They might see it as a joke, but clearly it is bothering you. Time to speak up!
  • peuglow
    peuglow Posts: 684 Member
    Jealousy, inability to compliment others, low self-esteem

    All reasons why they are saying the ****** things they do. Either call them out on it and tell them it's hurtful, or ignore them, and move forward.
  • HeatherNicoleMomOf4
    HeatherNicoleMomOf4 Posts: 201
    I know what you mean I hear it 24/7 from my husband,in laws,friends and my family. it gets annoying after a while
  • Feed_the_Bears
    Feed_the_Bears Posts: 275 Member
    You look like you're still in a healthy weight range and that's what's important. If you're family members are overweight, they'll take your weight loss as a message that they should do something too and that can make people self-conscious. Eventually they'll get used to you as you are, just stick to your guns. And if she mocks you for not wanting pudding because there are too many calories in it, just say yes, that's exactly it, because it's true.
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    I'm in the same boat. I have a goal of losing 100 pounds. Now I'm down 43 and mom's been saying "you're too skinny. You shouldn't lose any more." Umm I'm stil 195 pounds. Frig. Why can't they be happy for us when we're just trying to get healthy?
  • cheryl5115
    cheryl5115 Posts: 154 Member
    Don't worry what your family has to say. This needs to be for you. Let the words roll off your back. I know easier said than done. It is better to take care of yourself now than wait until you are my age and have 40 plus pounds to lose.
  • Hodar
    Hodar Posts: 338 Member
    People hate change. It's just a fact.

    Your parents are seeing you change before their eyes, and the new person emerging is perhaps a stranger to them, perhaps a threat. Does this new person still love/need us? Will she like us?

    So, how do they react? Predictably, of course. The only way to get the OLD you back, is to get you to gain the weight back that you have lost. This is their way of dealing with their insecurity. I'd suggest directly dealing with the source - insecurity.

    The comments, are merely the weapons used in retaliation for your change. How dare you change! You won't be their little baby anymore. So, just re-assure them that you like being thinner, you feel better - and you still love them.
  • shirleygirl910
    shirleygirl910 Posts: 503 Member
    Unfortunatley we don't get to pick or family. I know in my family if I confronted them about what they said it ususally turned into a fight or more negative comments. It hurts because we are always taught "blood is thicker than water", "Family will always be there for you when your friends will just walk away". For me, this was all lies. My husband (who I chose) and I have our own family now. We just give eachother a look when something negative is said, and we go about our business. My family will never change and they have thier own lives.

    Now if it was a friend, I'd tell them straight out what I think about thier comments and not associate with them until they get it. I have a choice with them. Family will always be family.
  • quamira_c
    quamira_c Posts: 8
    usually when people do/say things like that it is because they are jealous and/or they are unhappy with the way they look and feel about themself. idk if your mom and other family memebers are overweight but if they are use a smart comeback and say "well if you ever want to jump on the weightloss bandwagon i would be more than happy to help support you and get you started" that'll either shut them up or get them to actually try and make the effort to make themselves happy. also im proud of you for making changes for YOU!!
  • OfficiallySexyVal
    OfficiallySexyVal Posts: 492 Member
    I would say that they are jealous of your accomplishments. My family does something similar, however I am still big so they can not anthing to me yet about my size. But they do tease me about my eating habits.

    That is the whole reason I am on MFP is because I do not have the support at home! Girl, you are doing great! Don't let your parents get to you!
  • jmac4395
    jmac4395 Posts: 3
    Don't let it bother you. Try to turn it into motivation. When people give me negative comments, I try my best to put my frustration into my workout routine. In the back of my mind, I am thrilled when I am done and I just smile to myself and think, TAKE THAT! People are quite content when you are overweight and either make them look good or fit into thier rutt. Try your best to remember, if you are happy at that weight, then that is all that is important. Wishing you happiness and health. :happy:
  • ashblonde1
    ashblonde1 Posts: 31
    That sucks... it is hurtful and just unnecessary. I don't know why people don't live by the general rule of 'treat others the way you would want to be treated' or just 'if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all'.

    The only thing I could suggest is that you explain that their comments are hurtful and that if they don't lay off them, you will not be seeing them as much/as often because you choose to surround yourself with positive influences.

    Just think of all the time that will free you up to be on here!
  • nicspoor
    nicspoor Posts: 3
    You look fantastic in both photos. It is a huge transformation. Maybe just ensure them that you are the same person inside no matter what the outside looks like.
  • Anya06
    Anya06 Posts: 95
    I do live in my own home its when i go to see my rents they comment.Part of me thinks they r just worried i will develop an eating disorder,as I doubt they r jealous they r very loving parents who both are quite fit and healthy weight.I have told them today that these comments are annoying and they said 'its just banter' and think they might stop now lol...just had a moment of needing to vent :)

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