Stop telling me I look great and don't need to lose weight

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julieo81
julieo81 Posts: 47 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok this will be my short a sweet B session.

I love my friends I really do, but I am tired of hearing them tell me "You look great you don't need to lose weight; just tone up" LISTEN B words, you don't look at me in the mirror every morning. At 5'6" and 187 (after losing 10lbs) I am still at a BMI of 30 which is concidered obese. Do people really think it is helpful to tell someone, who you know needs to drop a few, that they don't need to diet. I believed people for so long that I just kept going with my merry life; until one day reality jumped up and beat the $#it out of me with a stick.

I know my weight is my own responsibility, but man why were they not honest with me? Please be honest with your friends, you are not helping them by saying everything is peachy.

Now that I have started my journey; most are all supportive and act like "it's about damn time!" EEERRRRR, Just be honest with your friends, they deserve to know the truth. Don't sugar coat it a deep fry it. Unless you are at the Texas State Fair.

Thanks for listening, I really needed that.

Julie

Replies

  • CDB1983
    CDB1983 Posts: 2 Member
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    Hey girl, believe me I know what you mean. I hear this all the time from my family and friends. I've dropped an ok amount of weight for my size (5'3") now down to 151 but I'm still considered over weight. I still have a journey ahead of me so I'm right with ya! Good luck!
  • julieuz
    julieuz Posts: 10
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    We have the same first name and same goal weight, so I had to respond. I agree that it would be in our best interests if our friends were honest, but we women especially tend to tell people what we think they want to hear rather than the truth. My friends would never admit I was overweight (I started off at 185), but my husband would be more of a honest sounding board. He never said I needed to lose weight, he always chastised me when I would say negative things about my weight but would encourage me to "do something about it" if I was so unhappy. Eventually I did decide to get started on this journey, and after losing 15 pounds I'm also getting a lot of support from people who previously told me that I wasn't fat. Interesting, huh? At any rate, I think as long as we continue to do this for ourselves, for our health, that we'll succeed. Best of luck.
  • Stephanie_Autry
    Stephanie_Autry Posts: 228 Member
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    Don't listen to them- keep up what you're doing girl. My mother told me I'm to skinny now and need to stop losing weight. I don't listen because I want to have the perfect body one day- and I'm trying to work hard. Some of mfp friends have told me that I look fine the way I am & to stop losing weight. I'm 5'7 & I weigh around 146-149 lbs right now. I'm trying to lose another 10 lbs and tone up all over.
  • SingeSange
    SingeSange Posts: 98 Member
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    Great topic post!!
    My friends say the same to me and my BMI lists me as obese too so... Someone needs to do the math and I guess that's me. It especially ticks me off when it's my thin friends that say it!!
    They don't need to say, "Hey, you're fat you should lose some weight", but at least when I mention that I'm fed up and want to lose weight and be healthier, just be supportive... RIGHT?
  • awillkies
    awillkies Posts: 53 Member
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    i'm 5'3" & currently weigh 113 lbs. i am skinny fat. i look good in clothes but naked... i know how i look. i stopped a long time ago telling friends & family (my husband is the ONLY person besides mfp that i talk about it with). i want to be healthy strong & lean. so yeah i need to drop the fat & start cutting in the shape (toning, whatever the heck it's called). it's really no bodies business unlike you leak it out & then it's open to critisism, imo. tell people if you want & it makes you feel better to own it out loud but be prepared for the backlash seriously. my sister tells me i'm too skinny.. please. i know what skinny (boney) looks like & i 'aint it. honestly my sister is just jealous. point blank.
  • Roeri011
    Roeri011 Posts: 77 Member
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    I started off with an obese BMI (currently 1.5 pound away from normal). After the first 10-15 pounds (still obese) everyone told me how great I looked, but like you hated what I saw. I never believed them. Now that I am closer to my goal and have been seeing great results from strength training I get nothing. FINALLY I like (sometimes love) what I see and I find myself fishing for compliments.
  • pikselinka
    pikselinka Posts: 154 Member
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    Listen to them then go and do your own thing anyway. I know how annoying it is when people start to telling you don't need to lose, my mum started to do it since she heard I almost weight the same as her. It's so annoying.
  • MamaMaryC
    MamaMaryC Posts: 142 Member
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    I have experienced this too. I understand your frustration. My husband used to bring me blizzards so I wouldn't lose weight. He likes bigger women. He is finally on board and supportive now. However, I have friends that tell me that they "hate me" (playfully) because I am thin and they don't think I need to workout. I don't see thin in the mirror. I see baby belly and flab. All I want is to tone up, get healthy, gain energy, and I like the great feeling after a good workout. I would like my friends to just be supportive because it is what I want and it's my choice, not theirs. But instead I get that I am becoming a "real workout queen". I eat what I want as long as I stay in the 1300-1500 cals and workout 3 times a week. I don't think I am trying to get sickly thin or have an unhealhty obsession.
  • julieo81
    julieo81 Posts: 47 Member
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    I hate that this happens to people BUT I am glad its not just me. I debated hitting POST after writing that because I thought I was being a brat about it.

    Its almost always the skinny friends, and get this I went to my old department a few weeks ago, and someone told me how great I look. You must be losing weight. Nope havnt lost anything. Well you look better than you did last year. MF'er I weight the exact same. That is one thing that kicked me in gear. What do I look like to other people. Honestly I don't care anymore. I love the body I'm going to have. I'm just going through the motions living with this body for now.... Kinda like my ex-husband I was just going through the motions of living with him until I got enough courage to leave and really LIVE for me. :flowerforyou: I'm divoricing my old self as of this very moment.

    Thanks and good luck to all

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