Lack of motivation. Any tips?!

monkeeface · August 2012

I've been a member of a gym for about 5 years and my original 'goal' was general fitness. I tended to go about twice a week - sometimes would be none, some weeks it would be twice and for a very short period of a few months, it was 3 times a week. Recently, over the last 9 months, i've been struggling to go even once a week, primarily due to a lack of energy & motivation.

Often, I have the good intentions of going to the gym but when I get there, I just cant bring myself to get out of the car and will drive home. I think the trouble is that I find the gym so boring. Even when I was going 3 times a week, I didnt enjoy it. I was going because I had to - to try to lose some fat. I dont feel good after a workout like, apparently, other people do, no matter how hard the workout is. I just find it dull, boring & cant wait to leave.

I have seen some gains in terms of muscle size/definition but that doesnt really bother me. I dont want to be one of those guys who insist on wearing t shirts 2 sizes too small just to show themselves off! My 'workouts' tend to consist of 20 - 45 mins cardio (depends how energetic I feel & at what point I get bored) and then 10 - 30 mins with weights (depending on how energetic i feel & at what point I get bored). I dont have goals in terms of lifting a certain weight or a number of reps. I generally do each exercise until I cant lift any more.

I've tried music, playing games, watching tv, reading etc but it doesnt help. I dont talk to people at the gym & I go there alone, primarily because the guys there are all idiots but also because gym is for exercise, pub is for socialising!

I am male, 37, 5'11" 14st 7lb. I would like to go to the gym more often to lose a bit of fat & for general fitness/health. I dont eat too badly or too much but I probably drink too much. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Anyobe got any tips to make exercise/gym more bearable?

JoAlberts · August 2012

Do some other kind of exercise? I am also a gym member but I always make excuses not to go, like yesterday it was because I have hairy legs and I couldn't go as all the people would look at my ape legs! So I had to shave them! Tonight my excuse it that I have to straighten my hair, and with the amount of hair I have it can take up to 2 hours! When I was at uni I did rugby, I can't play for poop, but I went because it was a fun way to get some exercise surrounded by awesome people.

Maybe try and join a sorts club or a running/jogging club? Something with a structure so you know when you are going and are less likely to make excuses.

monkeeface · August 2012

Thanks for the tips. Nice to know I'm not the only one. I find running too boring but there are a few sports i like which may be 'exercise' but it doesnt seem strenuous enough to be worthwhile in terms of fitness.

Its not that i make excuses for not going because usually i make the effort to go but just sit in the car park for 15 minutes & go home. I suppose my main excuse is 'i cant be bothered' as there is not usually anything else i'd be doing. I would say i was lazy as such because i'll happily walk for miles instead of getting public transport if i have a purpose for the journey ie. I need to get sonewhere. I dont really like walking for the sake of it, unless its at the coast. I also do loads of work around the house/garden.

I'm a very laid back person so maybe thats why i lack motivation. Or maybe I'm just depressed!

beanrider · August 2012

I am anxiously awaiting more responses to your post, as I am in the same boat. I have all my gym stuff, I go there, but I just lack the desire to get on those machines. Or if I do start a workout, I spend the whole time thinking about what I need to be doing at home and how I am not getting anything "useful" done while I drone away on the elliptical. Yes, I have a feeling of accomplishment when I am done, but getting there and just doing it is getting more and more difficult.

monkeeface · August 2012

Its good that you have a feeling of acomplishment after a workout. Thats a positive to work on. Doesnt make doing the workout any easier but it might at least help with motivation, if you know you'll feel good at the end of it. I think that would certainly help me, if I felt good or had that 'buzz' that people talk about. Sadly though, I dont really get any pleasure from it which is why I struggle with an incentive.

schmittie01 · August 2012

I have the same issue.. I'll bring my workout clothes and then i'll get off of work and it will be so hot and i'll just want to go home and take a nap. Or i'll say i'll get up in the morning and workout. Then its way to comfy in my bed to get up. This week i said enough is enough. I'm paying for a gym membership and i need to lose 17lbs. I have a wedding next year and i have to fit into the dress i got. This summer has been to fun and put on some Lbs..... But i do battle with myself daily on working out. I have a friend that gets motivated.. and then she finds excuses to bail and then when i dont have someone counting on me then i just sit at home. Trying to make it so i get up hourly at work and walk for 10 min. When i get home i try and only watch an hour of tv. I'm going to turn my other room into a cardio room. I got some dvd's and kettlebal workouts that i can do, but in the main room my dog thinks its time to play.

monkeeface · August 2012

Well you have a definite & specific goal so that might help with motivation nearer the time, once you realise there isnt long left to hit your goal. I suspect next year seems so far away and its too soon to be hitting the gym hard? I had read somewhere that setting goals helps with motivation. Well you still need the incentive to work towards a goal. Goals by themselves do not produce motivation. So i totally understand where you're coming from.

Still my most successful method of losing weight was getting a chest infection! I didnt eat for a week & I lost 14lbs. I've only put 7lbs back on in the last 5 months. However, I wouldn't recommend it! It was the worst week of my life not even being well enough to get out of bed for more than 10 minutes.

crawpapa · August 2012

go to a crossfit gym....MOTIVATION! You compete against yourself and/or the clock.

monkeeface · August 2012

Compete against yourself?? Thats not much of a competition!

yoovie · August 2012

Do you want to be inspired? Do you want to feel that bubbling excited need to go get it done?

Explore this entire website: nerdfitness.com

monkeeface · August 2012

Yes, not a bad website that.

However, there was an article that says " When you start to exercise, you start to feel better about yourself, you get addicted to the feeling. And then you chase it – exercising more, making better diet decisions, taking better care of your body."

I still dont get this 'addicted' feeling. Some of that website has some good advice & good case studies but it still hasnt unlocked the secret to motivation.

Another article says: " I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for over three years now, and I can say without a doubt that the question I get asked above ALL else goes something like this:

“I know what I should do, I just can’t motivate myself to do it. Can you help?” My answer has always been “I can’t give you motivation, only the tools to use once you FIND your motivation.”

So there you go, we still need help to find our motivation.

miss_grad · August 2012

Having a support-network is a huge deal. And it's so easy to underestimate how important it is to have people around us that are supporting what we are doing.

Does your gym have classes?
If so, have you taken advantage of these classes?
Can you bring a friend with you? Time flies when you can chat it up with a friend while doing an elliptical. Hell, you can even help spot each other
Have you tried to go out of your way and make friends at the gym?
Do you log your exercises - keeping track of how many reps and sets you can do? If so, do you challenge yourself a bit more each time? It's cool to see your progress on paper.
Have you looked up other challenging options? Bikram Yoga, Self-Defense, Boot-camps, etc.

If your gym sucks, shop around for a new one. I found one that I fell in love with... The atmosphere is energetic, fun, and people are friendly -- they are there to work-out and help if/when you need it.

Training with a trainer has helped me out a lot as well. Plus, you're likely to meet your trainer's other clients a well. Expensive, but worth it. It's an investment in yourself and future.

Or maybe... You're just not a gym person.

Have you looked into programs like Insanity or P90X? I did Insanity and lost a chunk of weight successfully. Sometimes you just have to switch it up.

miss_grad · August 2012

Compete against yourself?? Thats not much of a competition!

And I want to point out... This whole journey is a competition against yourself, believe it or not. Challenging your habits, your thoughts, your attitude -- everything.

How far are you willing to challenge yourself to succeed and see results?

monkeeface · August 2012

Ok, I dont understand the competition thing but you make some good points & suggestions.

Also, talking at the gym? Surely if you can manage any more than one word per breath you're not doing it hard enough?! I'm not a group activity kind of person which is why I assume the gym is the best option. If I lived by the sea I'd go kayaking all the time....but I live about 3 hours away from the nearest coast.

I may try to look for a new gym but I know that there aren't any as close as the ones I use now so having to travel further may work against me. I am moving house soon so maybe proximity to a gym will influence my new location!

jfan175 · August 2012

Exercise should be a necessary activity of daily living just like showering or brushing your teeth. You don't skip those boring things, do you? Just get off your *kitten* and get to it. Work hard and brief....lift weights....do circuit training....you'll be working too hard to get bored. Devise an eating plan, monitor your diet and record everything. Set some well defined goals and do what it takes to achieve them. Visualize what you want to look like. The progress and results will be your motivation.

I do not understand this apathy. It's your health and your life you're talking about.

monkeeface · August 2012

Yes but its a strange kind of apathy. I (and the others) want to do lots of exercise, go to the gym, look/feel a bit more healthy etc but lack the motivation to do it. We realise the benefits of exercise but for me anyway, I don't care enough about these benefits to do exercise every day. Personally, I do try hard when I'm at the gym, primarily because the more intense the exercise, the less of it you have to do (versus longer duration moderate effort) & the quicker I can get out of there.

Yes there are other boring things in my life such as going to work, cooking/eating, cleaning, ironing etc but I do them out of necessity. I dont feel the same urge to exercise because if i dont go to the gym today, what's going to happen? Nothing. Whereas if I didnt go to work I'd have no money, if I didnt iron my clothes I'd look like a tramp etc. I guess there are short term & long term and visibe & invisible effects of doing or not doing these things. The problem is, missing exercise today shows no pyhsical or visible effects today, unlike ironing. However, i'm sure that in 30 years (or if I could see the state of my insides) i'd be wishing i did more exercise. This still doesn't provide the motivation!

I'm lucky in a way because I dont eat much so dont have the battle of fighting junk food as well as exercise. I do admire people who love their exercise & look & feel great as a result. But equally I dont want to become one if these people who get anxious if they miss an exercise session, or never gets drunk because its unhealthy. All things in moderation, thats what I say (however the definition of moderation varies person to person!)

KALMdown · August 2012

Is there anything, doesn't matter what, in your life that you are passionate about? It sounds like you just choose to exist but not live.

monkeeface · August 2012

Yes, not much, but I would say beaches, sunny weather, wine and photography - although thats more of a hobby than a passion.

I'd be the first to admit that I dont have much of a life, but until I can emigrate to Australia I cant see much changing. I even had Congitive Behavioural Therapy earlier this year for my 'lack of motivation' but after 4 weeks the therapist admitted that CBT wasn't for me. But there wasn't an alternative suggested so I was left to carry on & sort things out myself. I'm not a very emotional person anyway (emotionless according to my soon to be ex wife!) so having a passion will always be difficult for me.

So any tips on how I can live, and not just exist?

jfan175 · August 2012

Yes but its a strange kind of apathy. I (and the others) want to do lots of exercise, go to the gym, look/feel a bit more healthy etc but lack the motivation to do it. We realise the benefits of exercise but for me anyway, I don't care enough about these benefits to do exercise every day. Personally, I do try hard when I'm at the gym, primarily because the more intense the exercise, the less of it you have to do (versus longer duration moderate effort) & the quicker I can get out of there.

Yes there are other boring things in my life such as going to work, cooking/eating, cleaning, ironing etc but I do them out of necessity. I dont feel the same urge to exercise because if i dont go to the gym today, what's going to happen? Nothing. Whereas if I didnt go to work I'd have no money, if I didnt iron my clothes I'd look like a tramp etc. I guess there are short term & long term and visibe & invisible effects of doing or not doing these things. The problem is, missing exercise today shows no pyhsical or visible effects today, unlike ironing. However, i'm sure that in 30 years (or if I could see the state of my insides) i'd be wishing i did more exercise. This still doesn't provide the motivation!

I'm lucky in a way because I dont eat much so dont have the battle of fighting junk food as well as exercise. I do admire people who love their exercise & look & feel great as a result. But equally I dont want to become one if these people who get anxious if they miss an exercise session, or never gets drunk because its unhealthy. All things in moderation, thats what I say (however the definition of moderation varies person to person!)

Well, you asked for tips and I gave you some. There's no magic pill that's going to make you feel like working out every day, other than your desire to achieve your goals....and it appears you won't even take the effort to set them. You have to grow a set and push yourself, or resign yourself to being what you are now. Just like anything else in life. Don't give me that crap about missing exercise not having noticeable effects, otherwise you wouldn't even be posting here.

dirtydmvkid · August 2012

My motivation is the mirror. If you can look in the mirror and HONESTLY tell yourself that you're a sexy motherf^cker... Why even work out?

kylejh · August 2012

Read through as many of the "success stories" on here that you can, and look at before and after photos. That has to work for motivation.

As for how to get through your time on the elliptical, I use my iPad and watch TV shows I've downloaded when I'm doing cardio. I don't feel like I need the iPad for killing time now, as I'm at the point where I feel like I NEED to exercise, but it certainly helped in the beginning. Get lost in a show, and suddenly 40 mins has passed without you realizing it.

One other thing: I have a "fat me" picture in a frame on my dresser. A picture of me at my heaviest, taken two weeks before I changed my lifestyle. Looking at that certainly helps me!!

Lack of motivation. Any tips?!

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