Baking crazy flatmate

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head_in_rainbows
head_in_rainbows Posts: 290 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi there! We recently got a new flatmate who is a lovely girl and I like her a lot. She is a girlfriend of one of the guys I live with (there is currently 4 people in our flat). She is unemployed and somehow decided to take over the house work. We all apreciate it, because, let's face it, who likes cleaning or dusting and so on! We prety much all cooks for ourselves and would not even dream of having her do it. She is our flatmate, not mother. As much as I like her and apreciate her efford, I have one problem with her. She is always baking some sort of cakes, cookies, brownies ... you name it. I don't mind as long as she does not forse them upon me. Unfortunately she does, practicly every time she bakes, she is asking me to take a piece and gets offended when i decline. I sat her down yesterday and told her what I am doing and why I am doing it. I told her that I want to loose weight a bit more and that I try to eat clean and super healthy. She started that her cookies and cakes are healthy. I tried to explain that while they are homemade and by definition better that comerially bought stuff, they are still very fattening and very caloric. She told me that once in a while it is ok to have them. I agree but my "once in a while" is once a month not once every two days! She got offeneded even more and out of blue told me that I think she is fat. I didn't say anything about her apperiance or eating habbits (that are horrendous if you ask me but it is none of my business). . I only commented that I don't want to eat her cookies due to my dietary choises. What would you do in such situation? She is my flatmate and girlfriend of my friend and I don't want conflicts with her. The sam etime I'm not going to ruin my diet to make her happy. Any sugestions?

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  • bikhi
    bikhi Posts: 175
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    purchase a set of 10 pound dumbells. every time she offers you a baked good tell her you will eat it if she curls them 100 times without stopping. just might do it.
  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373 Member
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    I only commented that I don't want to eat her cookies

    That's cold. Stone cold.
  • tammyc226
    tammyc226 Posts: 158 Member
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    Tell her that the doctor has you on a strict eating plan
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
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    Tell her one last time that your ability to like someone has nothing to do with your desire or lack thereof to eat sweets. Your desire to make yourself better also has nothing to do with your opinion of someone else. You don't want sweets. Then drop the subject.

    Anytime she offers them in the future, just let them sit there. If she wants you to take a cook, then take a cookie. Set it on the table and let it sit there if it gets her to leave you alone. Sneak it back on the plate later if you to.

    What appears to be going on here is that she has wrapped up her ego in her ability to bake. It's insane to you and me, but somehow makes sense to her. So when she offers you a cookie, thank her. Tell her something like "wow, that's really generous of you to make those. I can't have one right now." If she's going to push anyway, then say "It's a shame I don't eat sweets much as I'm sure those are tasty. Thanks for thinking of me."
  • head_in_rainbows
    head_in_rainbows Posts: 290 Member
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    Tell her one last time that your ability to like someone has nothing to do with your desire or lack thereof to eat sweets. Your desire to make yourself better also has nothing to do with your opinion of someone else. You don't want sweets. Then drop the subject.

    Anytime she offers them in the future, just let them sit there. If she wants you to take a cook, then take a cookie. Set it on the table and let it sit there if it gets her to leave you alone. Sneak it back on the plate later if you to.

    What appears to be going on here is that she has wrapped up her ego in her ability to bake. It's insane to you and me, but somehow makes sense to her. So when she offers you a cookie, thank her. Tell her something like "wow, that's really generous of you to make those. I can't have one right now." If she's going to push anyway, then say "It's a shame I don't eat sweets much as I'm sure those are tasty. Thanks for thinking of me."

    Wow! This is actually great solution. It is firm but the same time non-agresive and kind! Thank you! This was the kind of thing I was looking for!
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
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    take a cookie, chew it up, then spit it on her and tell her to "clean that s***t up."

    won't be a problem again.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    I'd eat the food she makes but log the intake. ;)
    I only commented that I don't want to eat her cookies

    That's cold. Stone cold.

    :laugh:
  • AllisonMart
    AllisonMart Posts: 156 Member
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    I agree with the above poster, take a cookie but sneak it back later.

    Just some thoughts on her perspective - if she's unemployed, she may be feeling depressed and worthless, like no one wants her and she's not contributing to the household. Things like cleaning and cooking are things she can do to contribute to the household, and feel needed and worthwhile. So when a flatmate rejects her offers, it's not just about the cookie, it's about her contributions to the household and her worth as a valued person. Crazy I know but people do irrational things. Her jump straight to "you think I'm fat" may be a sign of depression - she already thinks the worst of herself and believes everyone else does too.

    Just a thought, many of my friends have lost jobs in the last few years and those are some of the things they've gone through. You are in no way obligated to eat the foods she makes, but there may be deeper reasons behind why she's so irrationally hurt by your refusal. It probably has nothing at all to do with you, but how she views herself.
  • flynnfinn
    flynnfinn Posts: 209 Member
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    i am a crazy baker...and ice cream maker...LOL! i love fresh baked anything. i bake because i enjoy the process of baking. but i will eat ONE of my finished products and send the rest with my husband to work. all his coworkers eat it all right up! there was a time when i was baking 2x a week and i also heard complaints that i was not helping anyone with their "get trim" plan. so i stopped baking for a while.

    i was never insulted though. i understood what they were trying to say. i took it as a compliment...that the stuff i baked was so good that they couldn't stay away so they preferred if i just did NOT bake anything. maybe you could say it that way? somehow sugar-coat it, turn it into a compliment?

    or just tell her to save you a couple of cookies and you'll eat it as a midnight snack. that way, you can just sneak them back in the pile and she won't even know because she'll already be asleep. of course that means you'll have to stay up until midnight and somehow resist the temptation of eating it.

    but i honestly think ONE cookie won't do too much harm. emphasis on ONE! if you can have just one and walk away, then nothing to worry about.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    Take some, and take it to work. Then offer it to your coworkers!
  • jordanreddick
    jordanreddick Posts: 197 Member
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    I agree with the above poster, take a cookie but sneak it back later.

    Just some thoughts on her perspective - if she's unemployed, she may be feeling depressed and worthless, like no one wants her and she's not contributing to the household. Things like cleaning and cooking are things she can do to contribute to the household, and feel needed and worthwhile. So when a flatmate rejects her offers, it's not just about the cookie, it's about her contributions to the household and her worth as a valued person. Crazy I know but people do irrational things. Her jump straight to "you think I'm fat" may be a sign of depression - she already thinks the worst of herself and believes everyone else does too.

    Just a thought, many of my friends have lost jobs in the last few years and those are some of the things they've gone through. You are in no way obligated to eat the foods she makes, but there may be deeper reasons behind why she's so irrationally hurt by your refusal. It probably has nothing at all to do with you, but how she views herself.

    THIS
  • slighfox74
    slighfox74 Posts: 5 Member
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    I think you should challenge her skills to make some power bars from whey protien. there are so many great recipes out there. the low carb are great because you can use splenda for baking. I made some and they were great for my busy days and my friends that were not even whatching their weight started asking me for them. She is happy you are happy.
  • head_in_rainbows
    head_in_rainbows Posts: 290 Member
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    These are very good points about her feeling law about being unemployed and trying to somehow "compensate" by taking care of our flat and with baking. I like your sugestions how to get out of this situation in kind way or sugar coat it or take cookies to work. And the power bars! I think I will try sugesting it! Thanks so much guys!

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