Loosing my patience.

ramonasowner
ramonasowner Posts: 136 Member
in Chit-Chat
So at my gym there is a young man that has been staring at me for quite sometime now. About a month ago he introduced himself and then proceeded to never leave me alone that entire hour. It became clear he was interested in me or just plain scary. I never offered any flirts back, I was just trying to be polite but he wouldn't stop talking, in fact I went to get my 3 year old out of the daycare to take him to the bathroom hoping that he would go away.
Every time we are at the gym he follows me. He has not started another conversation because I change machines if he gets close to me. It bothers me enough I have told the owner of the gym. I know its a public place and whatever but It's a massive dose of creepy.
Next time he does it I have decided i need to say something to him because it's starting to affect my enjoyment of a place I pay money to attend. What should I say? I am not an in your face kinda girl....

Replies

  • Onmynewadventure
    Onmynewadventure Posts: 129
    My advice... Start up a conversation with him. A simple, " Hey, how are you " will be enough to scare them off.

    I would also talk to the management again
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    In this case, you need to be assertive...something you could have done on day one, and maybe he would have moved on.

    A simple, "Please leave me alone. " Is all it should take. . .:huh:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    I've also used, "I don't want any company," and, "Look, I"m here to work out, not make friends."
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    Loosing my patience.

    Tighten it up.
  • ramonasowner
    ramonasowner Posts: 136 Member
    Loosing my patience.

    Tighten it up.


    oh geez i am the worst typist!!!! lol
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    I've also used, "I don't want any company," and, "Look, I"m here to work out, not make friends."

    ^^^^
    a pair of earbuds and an mp3 player also helps. Just don't make eye contact unless you're telling him to go away.
  • ramonasowner
    ramonasowner Posts: 136 Member
    mp3 and buds all the time. this dudes creepy.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    Sounds like you have to flat out tell him, "look, I'm just trying to get my work out in, and I'm not intoconversation or distractions, can I get a little space?"
  • SelfHelpJunky
    SelfHelpJunky Posts: 205 Member
    Loosing my patience.

    Tighten it up.

    :laugh:
  • ggcat
    ggcat Posts: 313 Member
    Sounds like you have to flat out tell him, "look, I'm just trying to get my work out in, and I'm not intoconversation or distractions, can I get a little space?"

    Tell him you're not interested...
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    Tell him you want him to go with you to pick out a wedding dress
  • nicolio8699
    nicolio8699 Posts: 141 Member
    on an unrelated note- one time i was at gold's gym and in the "dark room" they apparently have the entire side wall mirrored. being so dark, i didn't notice this. soooo- mid sweaty fat girl workout i notice some other fat ***** is looking at me funny! so, i mean mug a little, thinking- WHY ME?! and she responds with nasty looks right back! because it was my reflection. who i almost fought. not really, i'm totally passive, but i would have cried if i didn't realize what was happening, lol so, that's my life;) clearly, i need new glasses!
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Step 1 - Eat massive quantities of gas-inducing foods before going to the gym.

    Step 2 - Wait for creeper to approach, then let loose!
  • wedge421
    wedge421 Posts: 224 Member
    Wear a ring on your left ring finger and just flash it to him. That'll do the trick :)
  • Sox90716
    Sox90716 Posts: 976 Member
    Tell him to leave you alone. If he persists, report him to the gym manager. Nobody should have to put up with that. His behavior is borderline stalking.
  • Asha0714
    Asha0714 Posts: 88
    "With all due respect, I'm here to focus and you're distracting me. I'm sorry, I'm just not looking for chit-chat. It was a pleasure meeting you."

    If he's crazy, you don't want to piss him off. If he's normal, he'll understand.
  • bailbondbabs
    bailbondbabs Posts: 26
    You flat out tell him to GO AWAY. Loudly and assertively. Shame on the gym for not putting a stop to something that made a member uncomfortable.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    I think I would ask the gym management for their opinion on what to say/do about it.
    I am sure you are not the first one to experience this kind of attention, and won't be the last one.
    Don't ask just anyone behind the front dest, ask to talk to a manager.
    They care about the environment you work out in, and wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable or discouraged from working out there.

    Follow their advice.
    If you don't get results, check back in with them.
    It's their responsibility now!

    Best wishes to you!
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    cheap taser on line 59.99
    douche bag in fetal position in corner priceless.
  • HotAshMess
    HotAshMess Posts: 382 Member
    Well, which approach do you want to take...do you want to be direct but nice or be a ***** or what? I'm always passive aggressive and I'm good at it. I'm only point blank without consideration when a person clearly does not get what I'm trying to say nicely. I'd put my ear buds in, look at a magazine and completely ignore him until he got right in my face or touched me to get my attention. Then I'd acknowledge him and tell him that I am there to work out and listen to me music and decompress and it really isn't a good time to talk to me.

    I just had a thought....try THIS! http://youtu.be/8wRXa971Xw0
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    You flat out tell him to GO AWAY. Loudly and assertively. Shame on the gym for not putting a stop to something that made a member uncomfortable.
    Yes. Except I would tell management what happens and how you feel about it, and what to do/say, before taking matters into your own hands.
    That way, it IS their responsibility!
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    just tell him to piss off
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Say something to the owner of the gym again. They need to be aware of the fact that this guy is harassing you by his actions and that they (the gym) are responsible if they don't do anything about it. Make sure they speak to him too. I'd go back and ask them if they did, when, what time and what the results were. I understand it's a public place however that doesn't give someone the right to make you uncomfortable nor does it give the gym the right not to say anything when you complained to them about it.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    Say something to the owner of the gym again. They need to be aware of the fact that this guy is harassing you by his actions and that they (the gym) are responsible if they don't do anything about it. Make sure they speak to him too. I'd go back and ask them if they did, when, what time and what the results were. I understand it's a public place however that doesn't give someone the right to make you uncomfortable nor does it give the gym the right not to say anything when you complained to them about it.

    Yeah, hold the gym management accountable.

    And I don't agree that it's a public place. It's a private business and they have a right to enforce rules of conduct
    in their place of business including asking him to leave and ordering him to not come back.
  • harrietlg
    harrietlg Posts: 239
    you have to tell him your not interested, he'll back off or if he doesn't just say your there to work out, not make friends and if he stilll doesn't leave you alone tell him that if he doesn't you'll tell a member of staff that he's stalking you
  • MarkC1963
    MarkC1963 Posts: 51 Member
    Just say firmly, "I don't have time to talk right now" without making eye contact. For most guys, that will be enough to take the hint you don't want to be bothered. If he still keeps stalking then advise management again. If they don't do anything then advise them you are going to get the police involved. That should motivate them to talk to the stalker. If that doesn't work, then call the police the next time you see him stalking while you are there so they can talk to him. Also, I think a person doesn't need to start out being rude to communicate appropriate boundaries and yet still be firm in most cases.

    Hope this helps; good luck!
  • ramonasowner
    ramonasowner Posts: 136 Member
    Wear a ring on your left ring finger and just flash it to him. That'll do the trick :)

    I do homeslice. And I drive a minivan and bring 2 ankle biters with me.
  • ramonasowner
    ramonasowner Posts: 136 Member
    Well, which approach do you want to take...do you want to be direct but nice or be a ***** or what? I'm always passive aggressive and I'm good at it. I'm only point blank without consideration when a person clearly does not get what I'm trying to say nicely. I'd put my ear buds in, look at a magazine and completely ignore him until he got right in my face or touched me to get my attention. Then I'd acknowledge him and tell him that I am there to work out and listen to me music and decompress and it really isn't a good time to talk to me.

    I just had a thought....try THIS! http://youtu.be/8wRXa971Xw0

    checked the link this i hilarious!
  • ramonasowner
    ramonasowner Posts: 136 Member
    If he's crazy, you don't want to piss him off. If he's normal, he'll understand.

    this is why I was polite in the first place he seems unstable!! that's a great suggestion.

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