I feel so discouraged...

NikeBody
NikeBody Posts: 12
in Motivation and Support
Last year I started my first serious weight loss journey. I was about 156 and I went all the way down to 125 lbs, which was my ultimate goal weight (I'm 5"8). I went from a size 9/11 in jeans to a 3/5 (US Juniors), and I was so proud of myself. Unfortunately, I never felt thin enough. I still had "fat" thighs which made me feel like I needed to loss more weight. I started to try going down to 119 lbs and ended up gaining weight in the end.

First it was only 7 lbs, not a big deal since I could still fit my size 5 jeans. Then before I knew it I was in the 140s. And now I'm sitting at 150 lbs.

This kills me because I know I can lose this weight again. But so many people taunt me because I've gained weight. They make me feel like a failure, even more than I already do. This wouldn't affect me if I weren't so ashamed to see people after gaining weight. I feel fat everywhere I go. I look at my reflection constantly, just to see how big I am. I don't even feel comfortable in my own clothes anymore. Everything makes me feel fat and disgusting.

When I lost weight last year I stopped eating fast food, I went vegan, I refused all the nasty, calorie-dense foods my friends and family offered me. I never felt better about myself. I went clothes shopping and could fit clothes I never could fit before. And I've been chubby ever since I was 9 years old (when I first started to binge eat and over eat).

I just feel like ranting. I want to lose weight so bad, but I'm making horrible choices and paying for it later.

Replies

  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    Well, it sounds like you already know what you need to do, so get out there and do it! You can! :)
  • Caz104
    Caz104 Posts: 62 Member
    The people who are taunting you sound like ***holes. Sorry but that's plain mean and so unnecessary.

    You've managed to loose weight before and you'll do it again. The difference this time is you know how crappy it feels to put it all back on again and you'll pay more attention in your maintenance phase.

    You can do it!! :)
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    You got this, you can do it. And the people taunting you forget them, all that matters is you. 5 years down the line you won't even remember them.
  • Wthompson1215
    Wthompson1215 Posts: 48 Member
    Stuff happens...keep going! I've been on so many yo yo diets. This time around I am determined to do it the healthy way. I feel that everyone around me is wating for me to pick up a cherry coke and pig out on fried food. Well they can keep waiting, because olive oil is the only oil I will be using....I say push through. You Can do it! ;)
  • Mikesrobin
    Mikesrobin Posts: 44 Member
    I have had my ups and downs and 7 years ago I was 180 lbs. I am 5 foot 4 inches tall. I lost weight and 5 years ago I was only 140 lbs. I still wanted to lose some but I was at a good weight. So 1.5 years ago I was back up to 171 lbs. That was so discouraging that I wanted to cry. I have had issues all my life with weight however I was in the Navy and had to exercise 3 times a week so I didnt really notice the issue because my weight was not bad. When I retired in 2003 the weight just came on and on. I started a "life style change" 1.5 years ago and today I weighed in at 135. I know that may not be an ideal weight for some but I am very happy. At 47 years I have never been satisifed with my weight until now that is why I know I am going to keep it off this time. Slow and steady wins the race but you have to do this for you and no one else.
  • BlueJean4114
    BlueJean4114 Posts: 594 Member
    TO THE OP,
    DO HANG IN THERE.

    You did it once,
    you CAN DO IT AGAIN.

    one step at a time.
    one day at a time.

    one healthy step, can lead to another healthy step being taken, one after the other.

    No one can make you feel crappy without your consent. change the tape in your head, i know, easier to say than do, but you are the ONLY person who can change that inner voice.
    Surround yourself with more positive people. Sign up for some MFP pals whose posts reflect the attitude you want to cop, to egg you on along the way. REFIND your inner strength, it IS in there.
    One foot in front of the other.


    don't let a set back stop you, keep going.

    be good to yourself, take good care of YOU. Indulge in things you do enjoy, that DO make you feel alive and hopeful. Read inspirational biographies of ppl you admire, play your favorite music up loud, go places you like to go, talk with trusted pals who will encourage you, whatever it is, that YOU find gives you hope.

    If you have a favorite food that you "gotta" have now and then, budget it into your calorie allotment, if leaving it out entirely makes you feel deprived. but monitor what you ARE doing, every day. Watch for patterns, use the note-feature under your food diary, if you do notice something about how you eat/ what works/etc.

    give yourself a lil time to develop new habits again. Sure, you might trip around a bit here or there, but get back up again. Everyone falls down now and then. Heard a quote once, went something like "The greatest glory is not in never falling, but, in getting back up each time we fall."
    get back up, you CAN do it. Believe in yourself. Picture yourself differently, picture your self doing it differently. Stay focused on THAT image in your mind.

    AND LOG ALL YOUR CALORIES IN YOUR FOOD DIARY.
    ALL drinks, all snacks, all condiments, everything.
    You can make your food diary private, or open, but DO USE IT.

    Just doing that is a great way to start again.
    I dedicate this song to you:wink:
    (lol)
    http://youtu.be/pCC0eXSAhYE

    ^TURN IT UP LOUD....
  • lbs42
    lbs42 Posts: 7 Member
    A healthy self-image is not limited only to the physical. Have you considered consulting a professional about how you feel about yourself?
  • LifestyleChange33
    LifestyleChange33 Posts: 169 Member
    Don't go on a diet this time. Change your lifestyle. Make healthy choices that you can LIVE WITH for the rest of your life. I have personally decided that weight lost is a secondary perk to changing my ways and lifestyle.

    Diets are temporary, and they only work temporarily. Make long term changes to find long term success. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
    Don't surround yourself with people who bring you down. You did it once, you can do it again. For me, it was best to start with small changes, like adding more veggies, then adjusting portion sizes, and then I eliminated sugars and processed foods. Hit the gym and don't forget that strength training is just as important as cardio.

    You CAN do this.
  • Splashcd
    Splashcd Posts: 2 Member
    I feel for you. I lost 85 and gained back 55. Its a tough place to find yourself in

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