To kick her up the tooshie or not

amnsetie
amnsetie Posts: 666 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have read so many posts from people saying "I wish someone had told me how fat I was getting!!"
and then there are the posts "How dare someone say I'm fat!!"
both quotes are correctly punctuated with two exclamation marks.

So I have a friend (not a really close friend) who is really getting fat fast.
but I have the tact of a bull in a china shop.

what to do what to do what to do???

She knows I am on mfp and losing weight so being a good example doesn't seem to be doing it for her.
I have said nothing about her weight gain yet.

Replies

  • cheshirechic
    cheshirechic Posts: 489 Member
    I'd invite her to come to the gym or go for a walk with you. Invite her over for a healthy dinner. Starting by being supportive, IMHO, is the best way to go about it. This way, you're showing her rather than telling her, too.

    Good luck; this is a tough subject. <3
  • kateanne27
    kateanne27 Posts: 275 Member
    sudden, fast weight gain could be the sign of something medical, you know better that we do how she would take comments/questions/ suggestions, but 'really getting fat fast' concerns me
  • amnsetie
    amnsetie Posts: 666 Member
    Yeah I'm concerned
    and she has mood swings so it's hard to tell her
    but i rekon long term she will be one of the people who say "why did no-one tell me??"
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    My cousin called me up and told me I was getting fat, I started a "diet" that day and never looked back. Some people would be offended, I used it to motivate me to lose half my body weight and more!!
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
    I have a friend who's always been big but after having a baby just completely let go all semblance of healthy living. Im to the point where I'm ready to just say "honey you dont deserve to live like this and your daughter deserves a healthy mom" it worries me a lot!
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    You can try to say something to her, but only she can decide to make a change. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    I have read so many posts from people saying "I wish someone had told me how fat I was getting!!"
    and then there are the posts "How dare someone say I'm fat!!"
    both quotes are correctly punctuated with two exclamation marks.


    I know what you mean. It's a dilemma. :smile:
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    How would something like this go over do you think? - "I'm wondering if you have thought about checking with your doctor about your rapid weight gain?"

    Something like that would show concern and perhaps open the door to conversation.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    http://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi1mZGY0NjBmMzc5ZDA1N2Jl
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    I have a female friend/co-worker who's blowing up like a balloon. She underwent the lap band several years ago and lost well over a hundred pounds, but went right back to stuffing her pie-hole with junk food afterward and is gaining so fast you can almost see the difference from day to day. I don't figure it's my place to say anything to her about it - all she has to do is look in the mirror and see what's going on. If that's not motivation/warning enough for her, nothing anybody could say to her would make any difference.
  • Sassy922
    Sassy922 Posts: 399 Member
    Yeah I'm concerned
    and she has mood swings so it's hard to tell her
    but i rekon long term she will be one of the people who say "why did no-one tell me??"

    could she be pregnant?
  • curtnrod
    curtnrod Posts: 223 Member
    Seriously? People who are three pounds overweight know they're overweight. She knows how she looks and feels and she knows that you're on MFP and it works for you. If she was ready to take action she would. All you can do is encourage her to participate in healthy activities and meals and support her where she is at at this point in her life. When she is ready to make a change, she will. No sooner, no later
  • cbirdso
    cbirdso Posts: 465 Member
    I guess I'm from another planet, because I can't imagine any scenario whatsoever where I would appreciate someone pointing out to me that I have gained weight. I'd be thinking; 'So, not only do you think I'm fat, but you think I'm so stupid that I haven't noticed? Great! My self esteem is in the gutter because of body image, but now people treat me like I'm an idiot, too!'

    I know you are concerned about your friend, but if it were me, I would like someone to say I didn't look happy, or I looked stressed, or whatever and would it help to talk about it. I would never mention weight.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Do you honestly think she hasn't noticed that she is putting on weight? Anyone who says "why did no one tell me?" is just deluding themselves and looking for someone else to blame.

    I don't think you should say anything - be open (but not pushy) about what you are doing and wait until sh eis ready.
  • amnsetie
    amnsetie Posts: 666 Member
    She is definitely not pregnant.

    I am really inclined not to say anything

    I think the advice to offer support for her mental health sounds like safer ground

    and of course continuing to provide the good example.

    perhaps I'll take her out for lunch if she lets me
  • RunMyOregonBunsOff
    RunMyOregonBunsOff Posts: 862 Member
    I think that it depends on her personality. I think that I might try to get involved and train with me to meet a goal like run a 5K and do the c25k program with me because "I just can't do it on my own" or take a healthy cooking class with me so that I know somebody there. Then if the topic of her weight comes up...

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