nasty message from friend made me lose weight

aleefula
aleefula Posts: 34
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
hey everybody, i was just reading a topic posted earlier about a girl who is trying to lose weight and her friends made jokes about it, and i know how hurtfull it can be for the people you consider closest to you to not understand what you go through and brush it off with jokes.

Well, this is a little story for those who have been made fun of for carrying extra pounds by somebody who they consider their friend.

About 8 or 9 months ago, I got into an argument with my best friend, now this is a person who i have known for the last 7 years and has never made a comment about my weight even though i have poured my heart and soul to this person confiding how low and fat i felt. This was a person who i considered family and as far as i was concerned could never hurt me. The argument in itself was so childish as it was over some rumours i had heard she had been saying about me, so i confronted her to know why was she saying stuff about me behind my back to some of our mutual friends.

Now, this person, though never did it to me, in the last couple of years i had started noticing that she had a lot of confrontations with other people and had turn down right nasty at them but i assumed she would never do that to me.

As i put the phone down on her as i didn't want to listen to her shouting anymore, she tried contacting me but i did not pick up the phone, she then proceeded to text me a message saying the reason people (including my husband) did not want me was because i treated everybody like XXX) my husband read this and was outraged saying that how dare she say things about that about me as i was a wonderful wife and dont listen to this. I must admit i did text her back, and verbatum i said please stop contacting me i do not need you in my life, you are hurtful and vindictive and i do not need negative people like you in my life, i swear thats what i said.

She replied "you should really drop down the fork and lose 80 pounds you fat cow". As one could appreciate i was so angry about that message and so hurt, specially because i have struggled with my weight for over 7 years now and that was like stabbing a knife right into my chest , that somebody could use the most intimate confidences and your most grave insecurities to hurt you so bad.

At that stage i weighed 184 pounds, she eventually called me and apologised and i decided to give her another chance, i left for my holidays and i still to this day couldn't get out of my mind that nasty message.

Even though i decided to give this person a second chance, the friendship declined when i came back. I did not contact her, she would make all contact with me but to be honest i wasn't bothered, to the point she texted me again to say she got the message that i did not want to be friends anymore as she hoped i treated my new friends better than what i had treated her!!

I did not reply and havent maintained communication since, although i know she has been contacting my husband and my friends through different social networks, what a bad friend i was that she is doing everything in her power to try and get me talking to her again.

Although this message was nasty, one good thing that came out of it is that i have worked extra hard and have lost since then 22 pounds! not because that message was the only motivation but gave me extra adrenaline each time i run and about to give up to think about how much it hurted me and the anger makes me go for it in my exercise.

Today, i am happy even though i am still 20 pounds to my target goal, but i am confident i can do it and have now also filtered who i trust and dont trust, i trust myself and my husband and people who genuinely know what it is to go through this, and those negative people and to those who have been through something similar as i have with a friend dont let them get away with making you feel bad, because at the bottom of it they are the insecure ones that need to belittle you to make themselves feel better.

Replies

  • Good for you!!! Keep up the good work and maybe you'll run into each other someday and she can see how healthy you've become. I think its great that your turning the negative into a positive because in the end, its your life and your body and your going to feel secure and confident in your decisions!
This discussion has been closed.