so many conflicting ideas

Well, it seems like both sites have given you pretty much the same thing for calories. MFP is just a stagnant number while the JM one has a range around the MFP number. Few enough calories difference for it to not matter.

As for everything else, there's no on answer. Some people do best on Atkins, some people thrive on higher carbs, still others swear by 40/30/30. It's going to be a matter of finding out what works for you, your loss, and your journey. Will that be easy? Probably not. Is it possible that you'll have to try a few (or more) different combos of things before you find that perfect mix? Most likely.

To start, since you're here, take MFP's number, but don't beat yourself up if you go over it a little bit now and again. Eat back about half of your exercise calories or so and increase your protein from what MFP gives as a default (simply because it's a bit low). Try that for at least a month, try to push to at least two though. See how your body is responding and continue or adjust from there.

Remember that you didn't gain the weight in a couple of months so it'll take longer than that to lose it too. And the body needs time to adjust to any new routines, so trying something for a week or two isn't going to give you true results to how your body is going to act long term. (e.g. You may drop quickly then immediately stall, or see a scale increase but have steady decreases just over the horizon).

If there was one right way, we'd all be skinny. Just remember that it can be done and to stick with it until you accomplish your goals.

So mfp says I should eat about 1460. Jillian Michaels paid site says 1400 to 1599 to vary the calories per day. I have fifty left to lose. I am told do high protein reduce carbs no bread no potatoes no soup no cookies no refined sugar seriously my head is gonna explode. I need someone to cut through the bull**** and tell me which is truth and myths. Also I've started doing my own workouts mainly strength and walking and running. I also lift weight is this enough. I'm doing YouTube videos;mainly.

Help

Short answer:
Carbs: Irrelevant (if anyone starts talking about the evil of carbs, you can safely ignore anything they have to say)

Protein: Very advantageous for weight loss, eat 1-1.5g/lb lean body mass daily (it helps preserve lean body mass and also accelerates weight loss vs. other macronutrients)

Workouts: strength 3x/week ~1 hr per session, _heavy_ (at most 8-12 reps to failure), after that do up to 3 10-15 minute sessions of HIIT (try 20 second sprint/max effort, 40 second rest to start), after that do as much low-intensity cardio e.g. walking as you have time for. Avoid long periods of high or moderate intensity cardio while on a caloric deficit.

Just the weight training+protein and a caloric deficit are sufficient for effective fat loss. Cardio will help speed the process along, and help with cardiovascular health.

Calories: As long as you can maintain your lifts, you are not losing lean body mass, and can eat however many calories you are eating. Metabolic downregulation tends to increase quite a bit below 1000 calories/day. The "rule of thumb" here is not to go below 1200 calories/day, which is reasonable for anyone who is not morbidly obese and/or in urgent medical need of weight loss.

Also note that calculating BMR using a formula that takes body fat into account and using an activity multiplier to determine TDEE and setting a reasonable deficit from there is the most accurate way to determine how much weight you will lose. Personally, I recommend going that route and not "eating back" exercise calories, as 1) calories burned during exercise are very approximate, even using an HRM calibrated for your VO2 max, and 2) calories listed on nutritional info are approximate (very approximate for restaurant foods), so "eating back" greatly increases margin for error in calorie calculations and decreases the odds of achieving the desired net caloric levels.

Calorie deficit is the biggest factor in weight loss (contrary to popular belief, the law of thermodynamics does apply to people as well).

Finally, re: scale, I recommend measuring every day and charting in something like JEFit, as water weight fluctations and water retention can obfuscate losses for periods of time (water retention is almost ubiquitous on significant calorie restriction, and can result in literally weeks with no weight loss showing, followed by a drop of several pounds seemingly overnight), and is one of the main reasons people think they are not getting results.

I hope this is helpful.

Everybody is different, so everything you have heard is right....for someone!

I have my cals set lower than MFP recommends, I don't eat back exercise and I try to eat a couple 100 cals below my goal except for one night a week I try to make it to goal. I do lowish carb (not really) but I limit bread stuffs to every other day and it is gluten free. I get loads of carbs from fruit and veg. I also try to get 110+grms of protein. It works for ME, but don't kid myself in that it is the *right* way.

Hopefully you will find your path soon. Took me 3 months of playing around with cals, carbs and protein to find what actually worked for me. Good luck on your journey!