The first step is to be honest with myself

Yes I like my BBQ, burgers, wings and Beer. I love my social life of going out to eat and drinking and all the fun stuff in life of parties and celebrating with food and drink . I self medicate myself with a good time... After all I did give up smoking 7 years ago why shouldn't I? Especially after the economy decided to really throw our family a curve ball. So after losing the house, We raised our kids in and a having to leave a career that I loved and leaving a son behind to start over (story of my life-starting over and over and over again). I realized just how tired of starting over I am. I just want to settle into a healthy life style change and leave behind all the things that has not worked. Now 102lbs is what I have to get rid of along with all the baggage of the last few years. Unemployment is a depression in itself, but wondering if my weight and self perspective is also causing me to sabotage myself. It's so easy to justify all the reasons of why I just need to check out and go have fun. What I need is to stop being a baby and start living. Stop with the self pity and the guilt I let others make me feel. I have been spending so much of my life trying to make other people happy that I have lost who I was and am......