Need a new me but cant get there

You can add me to. I totally do what you do, and did that for a good 7 months (and gained BACK 40lbs I had lost last year :grumble: )

This is just my $0.02, but if your anything like me you probably have quite a bit of mental "issues" going on in your head. Self hate talk, telling yourself constantly that you CANT do this, telling yourself you WANT it...and then by the middle of the day something in your life hasn't gone as planned (maybe woke up late, missed your morning work out, work piling up)...and that voice creeps back in, only this time you don't DESERVE it...

I could be way off base...but that is where a lot of my problems come from. I have no idea how to make myself shut up, but I do know that I just have to let those voices get their toe in the door and my whole day will go down the crapper with some binge eating.

You can add me to. I totally do what you do, and did that for a good 7 months (and gained BACK 40lbs I had lost last year :grumble: )

This is just my $0.02, but if your anything like me you probably have quite a bit of mental "issues" going on in your head. Self hate talk, telling yourself constantly that you CANT do this, telling yourself you WANT it...and then by the middle of the day something in your life hasn't gone as planned (maybe woke up late, missed your morning work out, work piling up)...and that voice creeps back in, only this time you don't DESERVE it...

I could be way off base...but that is where a lot of my problems come from. I have no idea how to make myself shut up, but I do know that I just have to let those voices get their toe in the door and my whole day will go down the crapper with some binge eating.

This almost describes the constant battle I have with myself on a daily basis. It DOES get easier over time to shut those personal demons up. Some days are better than others, that's for sure.

Anyway. My advice - take it a day at a time. If you try to take on more than that, you'll feel overwhelmed, which will lead to failure and defeat. So just a step and a day at a time. Log everything - the good and the bad. It truly does help and makes you aware of what you're eating. And we're all here for support - you'd be surprised how great everyone is on here. We've all been in each others shoes, and know what it's like. Friend request sent your way

Hello and welcome here. You can do anything you put your mind too. I hope you have a great day and feel free to add me if you wish.

Glad that you are getting serious. It just doesn't work if we are not sold out on doing it. By the way.....I would say that you need new friends. The disgusting look is not what you need.

Hi Victoria, you described well, just about all of us at one time or another. I know that in the past, every time I would start a diet, I would be all or nothing, and I would really deprive myself of almost everything I liked. I felt like I would never be able to change, and I felt hopeless. It doesn''t have to be that way on MFP. Just put in your numbers, and they tell you what amount of calories you should consume per day. You can eat anything you want, just keep your calorie intake to what they suggest and the pounds will start melting off. You have to log, as it is amazing what we can shove into our mouths on a daily basis, and not even be aware of the amount of calories you are taking in. I was blown away at my numbers. It really helped me to see why I was in the shape I was in. I used to say, I don't eat that much. Well, after logging it, you really become aware of how much you eat and how calorie heavy the food you were/are eating is. After you get going, you will begin to see if I eat this, then my body feels better and my energy level is higher.Your body will know what it needs. Just take it slow, and you don't have to be perfect. Just keep logging, and drinking water. The pounds will start coming off which is motivating in itself, and then you will have more energy to add some type of exercise. I am still trying to get into the habit of exercise, but I feel anything I do, it is more than I did in the past. I/we did not put all this weight on in a week, it will take more than that amount of time to take it off sensibly and slowly. The slower you go, the better ingrained your habits become. Don't weigh yourself every day, pick a day of the week, like first thing in the morning on such and such day, and document. It really is exciting to see what our bodies can do for us, even after all of the abuse, mentally and physically we have heaped on it. I love my MFP pals and I try to give good feed back, and want the same from them. I am exciting to read what they eat and what they are doing. It helps me to tweek my behaviors and to become aware. I really was living in a very small bubble I created for myself, but it does not have to be that way. Be accountable, be alive, and be the person you were meant to be. This really is a wonderful process. You can do it Victoria, we all can. We just have to take that first step.

I am new here Victoria, if I could figure out how to add you as a friend I would. I don't know how to make my diary open. I could use a weight loss buddy too

Laurie

Im with all of you - for me Im very good at ignoring and justifying - I could ignore that my jeans kept going up in sizes and same with shirts - the mfgs were making things smaller. I could ignore the pain in my back, knees etc - that's just the collapsing discs in my back acting up again - I could ignore the image in the mirror - just didnt look. I could even make myself feel better at the class reunion - I may not be tiny but Im not the biggest even in my family Im pretty average size - cant fight genetics right. I could even justify the shortness of breath when I went up the stairs to my apartment - shouldnt try to run up the stairs when it's so hot - I could even justify being tired all the time (getting up at 4am for work and all the extra driving for this new job is tiring) but pictures dont lie - went on a trip in April and of course you have to take pictures on a once in a lifetime holiday - I hated the pictures and of course everyone says they're really nice and I suppose in some ways they are - but I still hate them - I finally admitted that my outside sooooo didnt match the pictures in my mind.

And then the elephant in the room finally shouted loud enough for me to listen

I was carrying an entire extra person in weight OVER my own should be weight - no wonder I was always tired!!! My body was designed to carry one person - not two! If I lose the weight I'll be able to breath better, if I lose the weight my back & knees wont hurt when I walk hell for that matter if I'm not lying down all the time my back wont bother me so much

So how can I lose this extra weight - maybe a gym membership - I know me - if I dont have someone to go with me I wont go and my schedule conflicts too much with anyone I know that goes to the gym that it wont be worth it and I hate being the big girl in a room full of skinny "perfect" girls - and I always said when I found an eating plan that made sense and didnt eliminate half the food groups ( that type of thing never made sense to me ie the body needs carbs so eat carbs - just not so much) that I would get serious about losing the weight

I made a choice - no more justifying - no more procrastinating - and more importanly - no more lying to myself.

The only way Im going to lose weight is to eat less and move more.

So - I went looking for the following
1 - an easy way of tracking what I was eating - every study says tracking what you eat works because we all underestimate how much we're eating
2 - accountability - you have to have others around you to support you in a good way (the people on this site are awesome, wonderful, helpful and JUST LIKE ME!!!!!)
3 - a way of exercising that fits my abilities - physically and medically there are things that I just cant do (for now - hoping with fingers crossed that as the weight comes off that changes) my schedule and my willingness.

Then I found this site - jackpot!!! I hit 3 for 3 - the food diary is SOOOOO easy to use. The people - omg the support is fabulous!!!! The tips, tricks, suggestions, directions to more info that is actually useful and makes sense exactly what I was looking for!!!

When setting your goals I would suggest the following
First - figure out your ultimate dream goal (for me 130lbs with the inches to match) then break that down into smaller goals - I would need to lose 120 lbs to get to my dream goal - thats going to take some time and I dont want to get discouraged - so I've adjusted - goal 1 - get to 225lbs - then re-adjust the numbers for the next step - get to 200lbs - and so on.
Second thing I'd suggest - hide the scale - my goals are set to the inches I'm going to lose - not so much the scale weight - I want to lose 20 inches off my waist, 25 inches off my hips - if the inches come off to that but the scale still says 150lbs not the 130lbs of my goal weight I'll be ok with that - the inches are what fit into the clothes and my ideal picture of myself - not the scale.

Start today - as they say there's no time like the present - be honest with yourself about what you want and how you feel - praise yourself for doing a good job and dont beat yourself up when you slip up a bit - stick with it and you'll get to your goal with the rest of us!!!!

Here is a great link from a fellow MFP friend that will help you set realistic, workable calories / day -

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12.

One of the hardest thing to wrap my mind around was that I needed to eat more than 1200 calories a day (contrary to what every so called expert says) to lose weight but if you follow the info on that link you'll get an amount that lets you lose weight in a healthy way that you truly dont feel hungry on.

As for the exercise - the way I look at it - if I can only march in place during the commercials on tv for 4 minutes today - then tomorrow I'll be able to march for 4 1/2 minutes - and if I can add 30 seconds or more every day - then eventually I'll be running laps at the track pain free and from there - maybe a shopping trip for some saucy little something to show off my new curves when I reach my goals. Dont forget - if you're like me it took 25 years to get to this size - if I lose 2lbs a week - very doable with just diet changes - 5lbs a week with some exercise added!!! it will only take 6 months to a year to reach my goals!!! Im looking forward to next summer and getting a new swim suit for the first time ever!

Sorry for the long ramble and please add me if you want!!!

I have a 20 year old who has a similar story. I can only encourage, but it is really up to her. If you want to add me I can encourage you along with all the wonderful folks on this site.

Feel free to add! We weigh the same!!

I'm right there with you. Having a hard time getting back on track. I'm using food and smoking to deal with some difficult feelings lately and I have to find another way to deal with the emotions that keep cropping up. Add me.....We can do this.