The not-so-helpful comments

hungry_caterpillar
hungry_caterpillar Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
Does anyone have issues with loved ones making comments about their weight? For example, I have friends who are also overweight that constantly refer to "us fat girls" or "our paunch problems". I also have a family member who makes comments like "I think the last thing you need are cookies".

How do you cope with those kind of comments?

Replies

  • lelupa1
    lelupa1 Posts: 11
    I do not cope with them well...
    Have a tendency to eat more cookies when comments like that are made. I have now started saying things like "well Dad, I will lose weight when you quit smoking". I am losing weight but I dont tell them because I do not want the extra pressure.
  • ladykaisa
    ladykaisa Posts: 236 Member
    It's taken me a while, but I've learned just to smile sweetly, and then eat the damned cookie. I know what else I ate that day and if I can fit it in my diet or not, not them! ;)
  • Treesy72
    Treesy72 Posts: 230
    I bought fries for my son and when I popped 1 in my mouth my mother pulled them away and threw them out. I'm 40 years old! I think I know if I can allow myself to eat 1-2 fries without blowing my whole day. Sigh........
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Does anyone have issues with loved ones making comments about their weight? For example, I have friends who are also overweight that constantly refer to "us fat girls" or "our paunch problems". I also have a family member who makes comments like "I think the last thing you need are cookies".

    How do you cope with those kind of comments?

    You could try something like: Why do you think a comment like that is helpful? Do you think I don't know I'm overweight? Do I appear not to care?

    You have to say it very calmly.
  • mamalopez12
    mamalopez12 Posts: 27 Member
    My brother is always pinchin my belly rolls. One day he said Look at all that FAT!

    So i said I would rather be fat than hav a small baby penis.

    I dont know why I sadit that 2 my own brother. But he hasnt said anything since then.

    I just fight them all back.
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    I try not to let that sort of thing bother me. I reply with "wow, what a supportive comment".

    Then go try not to cry in the toilet. I'm such a sooky-la-la . :frown:
  • ACEgirl1
    ACEgirl1 Posts: 133 Member
    Oh man, that is crappy you have to deal with that! I am usually at a loss for words when someone says something rude, but I fume about it and then think of a comeback when I go to bed that night. Too late!
  • TexasRattlesnake
    TexasRattlesnake Posts: 375 Member

    So i said I would rather be fat than hav a small baby penis.

    ...he hasnt said anything since then.

    Uh oh, sounds like he felt guilty.
  • jgthomas78
    jgthomas78 Posts: 81
    My brother is always pinchin my belly rolls. One day he said Look at all that FAT!

    So i said I would rather be fat than hav a small baby penis.

    I dont know why I sadit that 2 my own brother. But he hasnt said anything since then.

    I just fight them all back.

    That's so hilarious!! I love that reply and that it shut him up!
  • georgie_lou
    georgie_lou Posts: 225 Member
    DO NOT DEFEND YOUR DECISION!! Youhave to justify it to NOONE! My mum is always telling me that. If someone questions what you're eating, you dont have to justify it to anyone. Smile sweetly and savour the taste of what you just ate.
  • emdf7a
    emdf7a Posts: 36
    I personally don't believe in negitive comments. We are all different. I know if sounds stupid but sometimes guys can be just as bad with the comments. I have gotten my share of them at work. Good luck and keep your head up.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
    My mom's side is supportive, as well as my father in laws side. its my husbands moms side that i get teased the most because I don't ever eat as much as they do (i eat a quarter of a plate of food, when they eat it two or three times over) and so they ask me "are you sure you don't want more?" and i kindly say, "nope." I tend to ignore it for the most part!
  • Effpcos
    Effpcos Posts: 350 Member
    My brother is always pinchin my belly rolls. One day he said Look at all that FAT!

    So i said I would rather be fat than hav a small baby penis.

    I dont know why I sadit that 2 my own brother. But he hasnt said anything since then.

    I just fight them all back.


    That's quite funny! Would have loved to see the look on his face.
  • alzaman5925
    alzaman5925 Posts: 64 Member
    My dad's always *joking* with me about my weight, calling me names, pointing out where I'm fattest. I tell him very plainly how much I hate when he does that, but he continues to take it as a joke every time. I try to give him the silent treatment afterwards, but he never gets the message and my conviction never sticks. He makes me want to scream sometimes.
  • Grmacereal
    Grmacereal Posts: 16
    I have a mother who is a recovering fat bigot. LOL!. She really is prejudice against them but I give her grace, mercy and credit. She's 78 and goes to the gym three times a week - even in a blizzard. She used to make wise cracks but she's all smiles now that I'm getting fit and healthy - right sized but I'm not doing it for her or anyone else for that matter.
  • huntclan
    huntclan Posts: 26
    So i said I would rather be fat than hav a small baby penis.

    Me too!
  • Grmacereal
    Grmacereal Posts: 16
    Sounds like my brother and me! Ahahaha!
  • AngelAtkins61
    AngelAtkins61 Posts: 52 Member
    Try this "I may be overweight but I can lose that weight. YOU on the other hand will ALWAYS wake up with that face and that rude attitude!
  • Montemuscle1970
    Montemuscle1970 Posts: 21 Member
    I've never had many comments about my weight, maybe one or two that I can remember. But I've certainly had my fair share of negativity from loved ones my whole life in other areas, and they're often debilitating. I've had a verbally abusive mother my whole life, and she's put me down as long as I can remember. Bottom line, you shouldn't HAVE to cope with the insults, snide remarks...whatever they are. Most things in life are pretty easy to accomplish. The hard part is always the doubt from everyone around you and maybe even some from yourself. Weight loss is one of those things. When you're ready mentally, you'll wonder why it ever looked so hard before.

    You may not get the assistance you need or deserve from the people that should give it to you. And I hate saying that people need to help themselves, but sometimes they do. At least at first. Don't let your friends hold you back either.

    Its hard when you know, logically, what to do and what you need, but it doesn't matter if you don't feel it. I noticed this is your first post, so it seems like you're thinking about making changes in your life. Or at least THINKING about thinking about making changes. If you ever get to talk to others about their journeys with diet and exercise, you'll notice that they often struggle with many other things in their life at the same time. Its one reason it can be so hard.

    Its always been hard for me to just let comments from others just slide off. That may not happen for you either, but you may find a way to not let it stop you. I've had to separate myself from a lot of people to get where I am today. Losing weight was probably the loneliest battle I can think of. Hopefully that isn't the case for you, but you need to know that you can do it!
  • hungry_caterpillar
    hungry_caterpillar Posts: 6
    Thanks everyone. I think with my friends, they are frustrated by their weight and don't want to feel alone. It is frustrating to face those kinds of comments - but I feel better knowing I'm not alone with it! Unfortunately when family members say things like that it makes me want to keep eating just to annoy them. :P
  • Montemuscle1970
    Montemuscle1970 Posts: 21 Member
    I hear ya. I always heard how lazy I was, so I was lazy because of it.

    My girlfriend said she thought I was going to be late getting somewhere the other day, and I was perfectly on time, but when she said it I was purposely half an hour late. And I couldn't not do it. It hurts when no one notices your efforts and when you do well. Jeeze! Its a tough gig. lol

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