venting about wifey GRRR!!!!

Even if you don't like shopping, go with her. Also, can't she get her own license?

I used to hate grocery shopping. But now I consider myself a seasoned pro. Think of it as taking control of your food, your choices. Do a meal plan ahead of time before you go and don't buy itmes that you don't need--just what you need to make the recipes you've planned for the week. It's very empowering! Don't rely on someone else for your success.

She has to helping the team out.

If you are going to do it together, she has to be accountable to you and you to her.

I started this diet because of my wife, I couldn't just say hey that sucks that you have to lose weight and just do my own thing.

If I mess up I feel like I'm letting her down and she the same for me. Its just a part of marriage.

If she is going to support you she needs to up her game!!

You need to block out her negativity. She's on a path of destruction and just hasn't seen it yet. Good luck!

i started lifting weights almost a month ago and she said she would by healthier food "she has" very little though,plus she still goes to fast food places (no prob right...wrong) she cant drive so i have to take her....she gets a account on here a few days after i did and said she'll start workinout and aint did **** yet...but when i missed a day she quick to say im messin up. ATLEAST IM GOING AND TRYING!!!!!!

Get over it... She may have not been ready to start... She may have fear that she will fail and is sabotaging things... She may be afraid she will succeed...

You can only control yourself and your behavior... If she won't shop "for you"... Go shopping with her... She nasty feel that you are pushing this off on her and she doesn't want to change things because you won't like them...

invite her to work out with you... But don't say "remember when you said you were going to do this with me and you are letting me down if you don't work out with me" say "I'm going to the gym after work today I can swing by and pick you up and then we can go do ____ afterwards" (something SHE wants to do that you might not want/like to do"

Download some interesting recipes... Offer to cook dinner... Don't say "from now on I'm going to make dinner once a week"... Just one day a week make dinner...

lastly... Get over it... You can't change her... Don't pressure her... Change yourself... love her... Be patient... Change is hard

Might I suggest, if you haven't, talking to your wife about this instead of strangers? communication is the key!

I agree - if you don't want to take her to get fast food, then don't. But IMO you need to show her unconditional love and support - no matter what she does. Who cares if she doesn't work out?? Who cares if she's not making better eating habits? Don't let that come between you. You can only control you. You cannot control her.

I hear you. I've been hitting hte gym for almost 2 years now... and changed my eating... my husband has not. He has *said* a billion times he's going ot start working out, watching what he's eating, stop drinking soda, but none of that has happened yet. It used to bother me. But then I realized - I don't care *what* he does. I still love HIM for being HIM. Health and fitness is such a personal thing - the drive and motivation must come from within or it doesn't stick around. THe best thing you can do is show her that love and support and continue with your own journey. And who knows - as she sees YOU are serious about this and as she sees your body change and transform then she might find the motivation from within herself. But the minute she feels you are rejecting her for not getting 'healthy' then she will reject you and your lifestyle in turn.

If she wont' buy healthy food then you need to get over your loathing for the grocery store and go yourself. If you don't want her buying fast food, then don't take her. Or if you do take her, get her what she wants, but get yourself the 'healthy' option on the menu.

What she needs is love and support regardless.

remember this is YOUR journey. If she chooses to do this then she has her OWN journey.

You have to do what's best for you. If you have to shop then you shop. If you have to cook then you cook. In the long run you are the master of your own destiney.

and then as you start to lose wgt or get fit she'll either have an epiphiny and start working out and eating well... or atleast you'll be fit for the next wife right?

Stop taking her to fast food. Just stop. Remind her that she made a commitment to do this with you, and that its important to you, and then stop enabling her.

Also - make a grocery list (you can even find some sites that will create a meal plan for the week for you and give you a grocery list) then just go in and print it out. Shopping is much less annoying/painful if you just follow a list.

^^ ^^
This.
I'm sorry its getting to you though. unsupportive spouses are hard work. Keep at it though she'll either join you or give up, if she giveup then this is your thing so make the most of it.

Might I suggest, if you haven't, talking to your wife about this instead of strangers? communication is the key!

Ditto, I know your just venting but let her know how you feel. Vent to her she might surprise you, I know that is what I would want my hubby to do and he expects the same from me.

I knew a woman several years ago that was ad that her husband purchased her training sessions with a personal trainer. He sat her down, told her he loved her and wanted what was best for her and their family. She got mad at him and told him he should love her for who she was blah blah blah. She had 6 weeks of sessions paid, she went to 1 week and quit.

Cut to a year later, husband leaves (more to the story than just her weight and bad food choices) but the next thing you know, I am seeing her BACK at the gym working with that trainer for the rest of her sessions. What does she say to me? I am going to lose this weight and make him want me back and sorry he left me. SERIOUSLY????????? Why does this happen? Why do we wait until they leave to want to do this?


Long story short, people do not listen until crap gets hard, then they start paying attention. I am NOT stating that he should leave, by no means should he do that, for better or worse means exactly that. BUT, thinking we can lovingly talk to people and they will understand does not always work. Also, it is good to vent to total strangers sometimes because then they can typically call someone out on their behavior as well. If she say, well you never shop and he states he hates it, its a lost cause, if we tell him, hey dude, take responsibility and shop then there is a better chance he is going to listen to. This is not just about her, he is enabling this behavior. He plays a part in it as well.