i really don't know what to do

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Jazjazjaz
Jazjazjaz Posts: 20
in Health and Weight Loss
basically, i've had an ED for the last couple of years
i keep going through phases of in/out ED

last week after some wise words from fam/friends/'experts' i've 'got back on track'
but, in bid to try and be normal again
i'm basically just binging/grazing, and have put on 6 lbs in the last week

i know i look hideous and feel so so fat but i just don't really care

i'm just scared that it will trigger it really bad again and i will have a bad relapse.
i just want to be thinner and healthy
i seem to only be able to do underweight and unhealthy or grazing like a horse and just disgusting

Replies

  • Jazjazjaz
    Jazjazjaz Posts: 20
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    guyss :'( i just don't know what to do, i feel so depressed :(
  • indiankel
    indiankel Posts: 163 Member
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    I have been there myself and decided this time I would get thin the "healthy" way. I am not losing as quickly as I would like but I have a renewed respect for myself and my life. Patience truly is a virtue and if you work hard, exercise and eat right you will be awesome in the end!
  • birgithooker
    birgithooker Posts: 68
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    I don't think you should beat yourself up. We all go through times in our lives when we may eat poorly. I guess the pressure your ED has on you though makes it ten times workse for you though. You have to take it one day at a time. And I guess if you have a profession helping you with the ED talk to him or her. You have to have realistic expectations for yourself. That goes for anyone on this site. We all our going to mess up at some point, its human nature. All you can do is not beat yourself up and go on to do better tomorrow.
  • Arienna
    Arienna Posts: 913
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    Please don't take this the wrong way, but I noticed several times where you needed help with your ED. Honestly you should probably speak to someone professionally about this. It seems like you might need a little more help than everyone here can give you. Best of luck to you.
  • HonestOmnivore
    HonestOmnivore Posts: 1,356 Member
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    track your calories and track your exercise. Make yourself the pledge that you'll eat all of your calories and eat quality foods. This site can be a life savor for those of us that want to cheat and do things the fast way.

    And what Arienna says is true too -maybe make time to talk to a professional who can help you create safe boundaries. Being six pounds over weight won't make you look gross btw- because you're beautiful all the way through.

    Be kind to yourself and treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.
  • Jesusfollower72
    Jesusfollower72 Posts: 95
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    I've been a food addict for many years and what I found is that it dates back to events in my life were I felt rejected. Part of the rejection was being told that I'm tackless which led to a fear of conflict with others. So I obsessed about food because food doesn't "reject me". Now because I'm a follower of Jesus, I repented (confessed, admitted that I was wrong and took responsibility for my actions) for making food my the most important thought of my day, and for living in fear of rejection and fear of conflicts with others. It has made all the difference for me. I'm not obsessively thinking about food anymore and I don't binge when I have a stressful day (which is usually the trigger that ends my healthy eating "streak").
    All that to say, spend some time thinking about when your ED started, it might be the key to figuring out when and why you feel the way you do. Maybe start a journal and really spending thinking about what is going on in your day that could be the trigger for your ED.
    I hope that helps some.
    God bless,
    Karen
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    Doing what Karen suggests, in addition to helping you figure out the trigger(s) to your disorder, could make it easier for a therapist to help you, if you move in that direction.
  • Jazjazjaz
    Jazjazjaz Posts: 20
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    Thank you guys :)
    Your replies have been really helpful
    And Karen, as of tomorrow I will be starting to do the things you have suggested
    And I find it a lot easier to talk on here, hence why I don't really want to get help about it. I just feel silly and ashamed.
    Also, I'm starting to realise that it takes a lot of patience. I've just always figured, that fasting, abc diet, 2468 loses weight quicker, even though it has dramatic effects on me.
    Thanks again guys, really appreciate it. xxxxx
  • Mommabee
    Mommabee Posts: 103
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    You have to walk through the sh** but you don't have to do it barefoot... Get help sweetie.
    Hugs:flowerforyou:

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