weight loss breaking point...

I could barely walk. My hubby had to come get me out of the car sometimes. he'd never complain and always says I'm beautiful, but I knew the truth. I saw a pic of me at my cousin's wedding. I thought I'd looked so cute that day. I was MORTIFIED. I had no idea how bad I'd gotten.

I knew I had to do something....I was humiliated and hurting

For me, it was a food sanity breaking point more than weight loss breaking point. I didn't have a ton to lose, but was so sick of the weight roller coaster. I knew I had to find a sane way to make peace with food. I had to find out how to eat and how much I needed to eat without intense hunger or crazy binges. Sooo... I started mfp after one finding myself once more overstuffed and feeling sick from eating too much. I'm still a work in progress. I think I'll always have to be vigilant with how I think about food, but I'm just plugging away.

A stroke and extremely high blood pressure 220/180 if I recall correctly.

I didn't like stepping out of my house looking like the way I did 3 yrs ago. I knew my life will be totally different after I get fit.

When my Mother passed away from a heart attack it shook me up. I went to the doctor and had alot of tests run and everything was ok. But I was overweight and my Mother hadn't been. At that point I started thinking about it and doing the yoyo dieting thing.

A few months ago when my Grandmother passed away my Aunt sent me a letter (she also sent it to others in our family). She had been doing some research on our family. She listed all of the family members who had passed away very early from heart attacks. Alot of them in their 40's and 50's. My Grandmother was 90, and very active and always watched what she ate. I think at that point it just all started to click. I'm 43 and had not been eating very well at all. I was slightly active, we like to hike and things but there is ALOT of room for improvement.

It shocked me. I had never realized how many people on that side of my family had died so young. They all died suddenly and had no idea they had any health problems. This was my wake up call. Now I just have to stay focused.

Funny thing is that I never really thought that I had "broken". I was always upset over my weight, it was building and building. I did try to start eating right on my own, but I didn't weigh myself or have anything to guide me.

Then I was just chatting with a writer friend of mine. He told me about this site. I was thinking.... it'll probably be like Sparkpeople.com...useless. But after I signed up I just clicked. Like a light bulb went on inside of my head and I saw a path for me to follow.

That's it. I haven't looked back and for the first time I have structure and a guide. I don't follow anything blindly, but I do need walls and paths to follow or I lose focus. Give me a field and I will wander forever. Give me a maze and I will figure it out. It's all how my mind works.

I can see myself being able to live my life like this, healthy and never again being disgusted by my own body ever again.

My doctor, with no lab results or bloodwork or ANYTHING, started harping on my weight, and I got mad.

Last time I had bloodwork done, I had better cholesterol than my last doctor.

I live with a diabetic, and so I've been eating healthier in the last year to year and a half than I have in my life.

Still couldn't lose weight. And totally blew my stack over it.

So I started doing more research, realized that I was prediabetic, went to an obgyn, got Met, and started moderate-carbing (75-100g a day net).

Mostly, mine was being peeved at my doctor. I am SO SICK AND TIRED of the medical profession blaming everything from my arthritis to my strep throat on my fat.

I'm losing weight to prove to her that it won't magically make everything go away and make me immortal so I can get treatment.

It's stupid, and it sucks, and in a world with basic human rights, common decency and a modicum of respect, it shouldn't be *necessary*, but it's my break point.

=Betty=

This made me break...


Its now fitting nicely Taken in June

thanks for this. this summer i have been creeping back up, eating junk, and feeling bad about myself. literally, as i read these entries, i ate the choc chip cookie bars i made (frozen, even!). just shoveling them in when the kids and hubby can't see me.

i heard echoes of me in many people's responses. i don't like what i see in the mirror or pics lately. the middle age flab look. i look at other moms and think to myself, if she's fat and dsn't care, why should i care that i'm a little chubby/flabby? but that's not true....i do care, i know i can look better, i know the regular exercise does good in a multitude of ways, i know i feel like a better person when i choose healthy food over cookies/ice cream/m&m's,

i was just a few pounds away from my goal wt this spring. and i felt so PROUD. i want that feeling again. i want to not be obsessed about the next time i can "cheat" with an excuse (it's the 4th of July, it's my birthday, it's rosh hashanah, it's it's it's....). i want muscles. i do not want to go thru my forties fat and flabby.

so the breaking point?? today. waiting for my dh to leave for the grocery store so i could have those cookies, hiding from my kids, feeling stuffed/sick, and reading about you and SEEING me.

thanks again for posting this and for all of you sharing your "moments"

Over the holidays, Halloween - New Years Day, I ate whatever and whenever I wanted. I always felt guilty and it ended up with me feeling really crappy about myself every time I ate. It didn't matter what it was, even if I ate a salad I would feel terrible about it. Around Christmas time I decided that after NYD I'd quit all the bad food and add exercise to my routine. So I joined a gym and began eating a lot cleaner. Started counting calories and yeah..

The exact breaking point was probably going to the doctor in January and being weighed in. *kitten* got real.