I need to change....how?

Mommypeanut
Mommypeanut Posts: 34
in Motivation and Support
Okay, I a have been lurking/stalking on MFP on and off for a couple of years, never really got involved. But here I go pouring out my soul to strangers...

I have 100 lbs to lose.

In my past, I have been thin. Got married at 130, even after first 2 babies got into the 150's. But find myself 3 more babies, at 100 lbs overweight. I am sick of it! I can't even look at photos. I don't even know how fat I really am. In my head I see myself around 50 lbs overweight.

I am changing. I used to be outgoing, funny, optimistic, energetic, lots of friends. Now I am the opposite of each of those.

Thing is, I have nothing to be sad about. In fact lots might be envious of my life. I have a happy marriage, wonderful husband, great parents, I stay at home and raise some darling sweet children.

But I am fat, and I am miserable. I really want to change. But keep letting myself down. I haven't been successful at a lifestyle change/diet for more than 6 weeks for years! I don't trust myself much anymore.

I want to be who I used to be. How??? How can I create a lasting change?

I fear failing again...

Replies

  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
    To create a lasting change, a lifelong change is to not diet and slaving yourself to a gym or workout, but to make these changes a lifestyle.

    It's easy to eat a double serving of the mac n cheese I made for the kids, but it's hard to make them mac n cheese with something healthy and portion it to yourself properly.

    It's easy to get hung up on the thought of getting to the gym knowing you can go tomorrow so today isn't as important. It's hard to go almost everyday because it's what I do. I wake up, go to gym, then start the rest of my day.

    After 6 weeks and you feel you are failing, fail that day. It's ok, tomorrow try again and work harder at keeping on track.
  • Polly758
    Polly758 Posts: 623 Member
    A lifestyle change is overwhelming. Have you tried doing it in steps? Write down all the changes you want to see in your life. Pick the easiest one. Do it for a month. Pick the next easiest one. And so on.

    Similarly you could go by the ones you know will have the bigest impact or that you will be the most proud of. Maybe even bring your kids in on it so they can learn some healthy habits, and how to make plans and personal goals, etc.

    My fitness plan looks something like this

    1. Start lifting weights
    2. Start using protein powder
    3. Eat veggies every day
    4. Eat 6 times a day
    5. Eat enough protein in real food so I don't have to use protein powder

    That last one is stalling me!... probably because now that I look at it, I realized I combined 4 and 5 together haha... Next I want to start eating greens at every meal.
  • fairestthings
    fairestthings Posts: 335 Member
    You obviously want to do it and that's all there is to it. You've heard this before... there is no magic formula, pill, or exercise. One day you need to wake up, work out for 30-60 minutes, and eat right. You know what's bad for you. Fried, take out, pizza, alcohol, anything with "batter" on it, butter, too much bread, too much cheese, too much pasta.

    Meal planning has helped us significantly. I cook all of our meals and because I have the ingredients in the house (and I DO NOT buy bad snacks, that way even when i want ice cream with 3lbs of fudge on it, I can't have it) we eat healthy 95% of the time.
  • strbryt
    strbryt Posts: 488 Member
    You sound like so many of us. I lost 80 pounds last year. I was beginning to feel fatastic and then christmas came and I started slidding a bit. I kept telling myself I got this. Then in Feburary I had an emergency gallbladder removal that lead to about 4-5 weeks of a nasty side affect that kept me from working out. That lead to me not eating well. That lead me to giving up. So here I stand ONCE MORE at the base of the mountain getting ready to climb again. I also have a serious fear of falling on my face and being embarrased. THe thing is..........by not trying we are already failing and we are already embarrased by how we look. I say stand up take a stand and do this. Until you feel better about yourself you will not be happy. I learned that recently the hard way and made a decision to fight my way back. Feel free to add me if you need someone to climb the mountain with you.
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    You can do it! Do it for yourself and your family! Teach them by your example.
    Do not make the same mistake that I did when my DD was growing up. Thank goodness she is athletic and fit! No thanks to my bad example. She is running her first marathon 5 weeks from today. I could not be prouder of her!
    I missed out on doing things with her because I have been overweight all of her life.
    Small goals and daily logging..................you can do it!
  • Annie_ga
    Annie_ga Posts: 72
    Like others have said, it's a lifestlye change - so change slowly. First, improve your breakfast - oatmeal, fruit and greek yogurt, anything protein based. Get moving - a 15 minute family walk to start. And definitely lift weights - the way I feel after I lift makes my healthy lifestyle feel awesome. Once you tackle these, move onto other meals and more exercise. Take it slowly - you can do this!!!!!!!
  • mela216r
    mela216r Posts: 23
    It's a matter of perspective I think. As a mom you do so.much for your kids; but keep in mind that you are role modeling for them too. Learning to make healthier choices with food is a good way to teach the kids about balanced eating so they can make good decisions about their physical health. Being more active...same thing. And settithe example that YOU are worth it will benefit your family too because you will feel good and confident. Instead of seeing it as "another diet" maybe try to make it a total family effort. Let the kids help with some menu planning or pick a family activity to do
    Totogether. Don't focus strictly on the scale but go for health,energy & fitness foremost. The weight will come off in the process.
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    Do a couple of things at a time. When you're ready, add the next steps. Here's one plan...

    Write
    * Write down your goals and your reasons for them.
    * Log everything you eat.

    Food Changes
    * Drink more water.
    (for ways to make it more palatable see http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/water-265761)
    * Portion control.
    * Substitue healthier choices.

    Check In
    * Read your goals and reasons each day.
    * Measure - weigh yourself and measure the inches or centimeters.

    Pick What You'll Track
    * Fill in the MyFitnessPal (MFP) goals.
    * Set the food nutrients you'll track. (I recommend starting with MFP defaults + fiber.)
    * Choose some initial exercise and amount. (E.g., 5 minutes of walking a day.)

    Follow your plan for a week.

    Adjust
    Pick from the following... add something each week.
    * Add a goal. Some examples are
    - Increase vegetables.
    - Make more of your own meals at home.
    - Increase exercise.
    - Meet the MFP recommended protein.
    - Drink 8 8oz cups of water each day.
    - Find people who support your goals.
    - Learn more about nutrition.
    - Try out a new exercise.
    - Cook a new recipe that fits your goals.
    * Consider what works for you and what doesn't.
    Maybe use these message boards to find a better way to do the things that don't work for you.
    * Start at the top and take each step a bit farther.

    Good luck!
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
    One day at a time, one pound at a time.
    Don't look at the big picture of how much you have/want to lose - if you need to set goals, set them in say 5 or 10 lb increments.
    Log everything you bite.
    PrePlan your menu's so you are not caught short w/o calories at the end of the day.
    If you go over, it's okay ....get right back on track, don't use one bad meal to set you back.
    Make changes slowly (I didn't start to exercise till i lost close to 30 lbs).
    Your entire family will benefit from the lifestyle change.
    It's NOT easy, there are so many temptations to derail you. It's a conscious effort to make the right decisions. You can do it!!!!!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Formulate a plan, and stick to it.

    Not 1200 cals-lose-it-as-fast-as-you-can. A long term plan, with a maintenance plan at the end.
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
    I agree with all the people who are saying to start slowly. It's too overwhelming to try to do everything at once--or it was for me! Many of us have an "all or nothing" mindset about weight loss and you see where it's gotten us: on a rollercoaster and overweight once again. So I'd recommend taking it in small steps that are more manageable.

    When I used MFP last year, the first week I simply logged what I ate. I didn't try to change anything at all that week, only to get a picture of what I actually was eating.

    The next week I tried to stay within my calorie goal.

    Then I added a new goal each week. One week it might have been as simple as to actually eat one thing I cooked at home instead of something out of a box or a takeout. Another it might have been to try to get a vegetable in there somewhere every day. Then to try to get more protein. I don't think I worked out at all the first few weeks.

    I just focused on one thing at a time and then built on it. And I lost 38 pounds in 5 months!

    There's no race to the finish here. Just try to make one more good choice every day and you'll get where you want to be.
  • Mommypeanut
    Mommypeanut Posts: 34
    You guys are all so amazing! I didn't think I would get that many responses in such a short amount of time. I like the idea of a little at a time. Not as daunting!

    I truly appreciate all your nice words. I think MFP will help with the motivation/accountability issue.

    Thanks, you all made me feel better and motivated!

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