Making friends in Real Life

Squible
Squible Posts: 359 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok so this might seem like a real stupid and sad post but I think I just need to get it off my chest.

I dont have many friends in real life that I hang out reguallry or can clal up and ask if they want to go out spontaneously. Recently this has been getting me down quite badly, espeically with my eating and excersinsg as I would like to be able to have a gym buddy to push me to go and then meet up for coffee or drinks.

So I'm just wondering how do YOU make friends in RL, Ive got a few work friends but not reeally anyone id go out with, Well there is one but she seems to always be with her boyfriend and I've suggested going out at weekends and its met with a shrug of 'I have no money' or some other (what feels like) excuse.

I'm not out going or loud, and I'm pretty shy around alot of people, but I ma funny once you get to know me etc and I can have a good time once I am in a good comfortable group so I'm not all bad haha.

Just looking for advice, Or ifthere is anyoe in the Epsom, Surrey UK area that fancies meeting up and helping me make friends please do :)

Replies

  • DogsK
    DogsK Posts: 94
    I would just start taking up some social sports like tennis or squash to name a few. It will improve your social life and also good for your body. Go to the gym. people will soon start talking to you and then the friendship will grow but you have to make the first move.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    I found myself single again at age 29 and it seemed the best places to meet people and find new friends was to engage in activities I enjoy. My go to places were church, fun charity stuff like volunteering to help hand out programs at the symphony or help with Girls/Boys club events or help with things like a charity marathon run, etc. The more I volunteered the more I found people I enjoyed hanging out with that wanted to do something besides eat and drink.

    It seemed to be easier to talk when I was engaged in a team or project with other people.
  • SurfinBird1981
    SurfinBird1981 Posts: 517 Member
    It just happens naturally I guess, make friends at work, the gym etc. Try looking for people on here within your area perhaps? Good luck :smile:
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    Firstly congrats on the loss!

    In RL trying to arrange a night out is like a military coo with work/child care commitments. My Dad's advise is to "get out more"
  • tenaheff
    tenaheff Posts: 88
    When at the gym, just introduce yourself to people. Say hi when you see them each day. In the locker room, ask them about their workout. Move on to asking them about the things they like to do or their work. After a little while, ask them if they would like to get together for lunch, dinner, a drink whatever sometime. If they say yes, say something like when are you free and then if they aren't available ask them to suggest a date.
  • PapaDunx
    PapaDunx Posts: 243
    Why should it be sad to ask a question like this.
    Plenty of people can be lonely while surrounded by people and alone, but not lonely.

    Im pretty much in the same situation as you.

    I live in Egypt (when I finish here at uni), where half of my friends are, and the rest of them are scattered around the globe due to my globe trotting.

    So, Im thinking that the life of a student should be a rich rewarding experience filled with drug-addled hazes and hot-tub parties. (with the occassional bit of studying thrown in)

    Jeez!! How wrong I am! No one said I would have to work for this bloody degree!! :laugh:

    My fellow schoolies are all young enough to be my kids and even the lecturers are younger than me!

    So, my plan is, once uni gets into the swing, to sign up for the cycling society, the archery society and see if there is a university dive club. So, either Im going to get fitter, be a better shot, or go back to being the scuba god to a bunch of eager dive beavers.

    I remember Epsom being a beautiful place with lots of walks, cycling and the occasional horse or two :wink:
    .. and you have your fellah to pester into doing stuff with.

    But, I understand where you are coming from. Im not shy in anyway at all, and Im struggling to find like-minded people to play with.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    There is a website called meetup.com, and thats where I'm meeting people.

    They have groups for pretty much anything you could want to do and for any age group.

    I go out with a group of 20-30 yr old people at least once or more a week.. and the people change each time, so it's I meet a variety of people instead of the same ones over and over.
  • prez1923
    prez1923 Posts: 11
    You are not alone. People are lonely for a variety of reasons. I was in a pretty deep depression the last 6-7 years and recently woke up, got help with some medicine, and am now living a better life. Now that I've got some momentum I can't wait to get out there and meet people. Problem is, how? Same question you asked. So thanks for being brave enough to ask the question and you should feel no shame in asking it at all. You just helped some people...well, I can guarantee you helped me by posing the question.
  • aholly70
    aholly70 Posts: 577 Member
    I feel your pain I have no friends here either,I moved Ripon Wisconsin Almost 9 yrs ago,& i'm outsider to them,I guess we Have a few but nothing much.Feel free to add me we could be frinds on here
  • cs821
    cs821 Posts: 48
    I get where ure coming from, i'm not out going and there are times when i think about it and feel a bit down because of it. I have friends at work and they have led to some of the best friendships i could ask for, but, i still feel if it wasn't because of work, I would be pretty lonely. I'm trying to put myself out there a lot more especially at the gym when I do classes as we all have to start somewhere :smile: Feel free to message me anytime I'm not too far from epsom and would be happy to meet up :smile:
  • Squible
    Squible Posts: 359 Member
    Wow, thank you to everyone who replied to this. I think I do just need to get out there and get talking to people and making friends just the shyness and being sared is stopping me hah.

    I have looked at meetup.com and found a few groups of people I want to join and get to know but again i get scared and worried people wont like me or something.

    I really just need to get out of my comfort zone and get on and do it but it feels easier said than done, especially as I'm a worrier with a really bad body image (think I'm way fatter than I actually am according to the boy) and I dont have a positive attitude abot myself (dont feel worthy or that people will/do like me)

    I know I just need to get over these hang ups and go out, I think this is all part of the weight loss journey.
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
    You're not the only one who doesn't have friends..I need to find friends of my own but it is hard. Maybe after this diet. Then people won't see me as the "fat girl"

    Thank you for the thread though.

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