Why?

follmer20 · September 2012

Im so tired of it all.. I'm tired of counting calories, I'm tired of waking up at 4 am for a workout (half the time having to stop in between to get my kids back to sleep), I hatte being tired all the time. I'm wearing myself out. I feel like crying all the time. Ive lost 20 lbs since the middle of feb this year. If I lose a couple lbs, and I eat like crap for 2 days I feel bloated and I gain those 2 lbs + back. It doesn't even seem worth it any more. I'd rather sleep in, I'd rather just eat what I want and not worry about the calories.

I woke up at 345 this morning. Ate a little something, took me supplements and around 445 ( 15 minutes before I usually begin my workout) my son comes out of the room and wants me to go back to bed with him. Over an hour later he's still awake and not thinking about going back to sleep. Meaning, I cant go for a run because he likes to try to get on the treadmill with me. So now I'm up this early, and come later this afternoon gonna be dead tired. All for nothing. He doesn't take naps so that means, no "good" workout for me today. And I've had a really bad couple of days.

It's times like these that I feel like giving up. I know I don't have a specific day I want to reach my goal, but I feel like I take 1 step forward, only to take 2 steps back. I feel frustrated all the time. I'm not happy a lot of the time and I don't like being like this. I feel amazing when I get a good hour workout in when I get up in the morning. But if I don't, then I eat like crap all day and I just beat myself up over it ALL day.

I love staying at home with my kids, but it just gets to me sometimes. Sitting at home with them, every day, same thing day after day. I have so much going through my head and think about every thing over and over and over again. So then all I wanna do is eat.....junk! Thinking, why am I busting my *kitten* trying to lose weight. My kids don't care what I look like, and they're the only ones I see everyday.

I know once I reach my goal weight it will all be worth it. Just getting there is really depressing me. I need something to remind me on days like these that i need to stick with it. I haven't found a way that works for me to lose the weight. I've tried EM2WL, I've tried eating back exercise calories, tried not eating them back and I just don't seem to be loosing it. I wanna give up.

Anyone else get this way sometimes? How do you get passed these moments and move on?

Sorry for the long rant but just needed to get that out.

pkw58 · September 2012

Maybe you can get the wiggles DVD's and you and the kids can dance along with them? I have never been a full time stay at home mom but have several friends and family members that took that path and the key seemed to be getting as active as possible with the children. I use to babysit my nephews (I tell my sister this is why I never had kids of my own) and we would dance along with the wiggles and as they got older a good game of kick ball in the yard was always in order, weather permitting. Even now that they are in high school we walk a half mile or so to get lunch or dinner when they visit.

Hang in there!

painauxraisin · September 2012

You sound like you're exhusted and being pulled in all directions by your duty to your family and trying to get some time in for yourself.
Try not to do so much. Is there anything you can cut back on? Your time with your children is precious, they grow up too fast.
You are not Superwoman. You can only do so much.
:flowerforyou:

Mandeez77 · September 2012

Sounds like your timing for workouts isn't working. If possible, don't try getting up so early to do an adult workout. Later in the day, start having a play hour with the kids and make it physically active. Those little ones can create a darn good workout just running around. Try whiffleball, kickball, even tag.

LastPyro · September 2012

read this:

http://zenhabits.net/uncover-happiness/

Nessalee77 · September 2012

A playpen and some toys for 45 minutes? Won't hurt them if they have your attention the rest of the day surely?

AReasor · September 2012

Ok hon, I am a stay at home Mom too and here is what I did/have done.

1. The changes I make are the ones I want to do for the rest of my life. Am I going to work out every day for the rest of my life, heck no. Am I going to severely limit my calories for the rest of my life, again heck no. Am I going to cut out foods like ice cream for the rest of my life, no way thats going to happen.

2. So, pick something sustainable(see above). I am losing weight. It's not as fast as other people, but it is happening. My goal is to workout 3x's a week.

3. THE MOST IMPORTANT! Teach your kids that your time is valuable. My kids woke up early(little one still does). They know they can play in their room quietly. Momma gets her coffee time/alone time in the morning. Again, this is harder with little ones. But if mine woke up at 345am, even at 1-2-3yrs old, I would let them have a drink and get them snuggled back to bed. Then I go back to my bed.

4. Being a stay at home mom can make you nuts. But I keep busy, new projects, new playgrounds, new hobbies. Make sure that your sanity is a priority and then do what it takes to maintain it. Some bad days it helped me to just get outside to a park with some snacks, a blanket, and the little ones.

Its hard I know. If you ever want to send me a message, I'm here!
Angela

zeedo_odeez · September 2012

Throw the kid on your back and go to the park.

Play on the slide/swings etc.. chase him around a bit.

This won't be a "good" workout but it'll work you enough, you'll tire the youngster out and get a bit of excersize in, you'll also feel a lot better about things as you'll have done a "good mom" thing. Just because the universe conspired to mess up your workout does't mean you have to have a failure of a day, just go succeed at something else.

Today just happened to be a successful mommy day.

annoz · September 2012

I feel ya!!! My kids are older now- 11 and 13, but I was a stay at home mom when they were young and I was always depressed, lonely, angry, annoyed, etc.

Can you afford to join a gym with a daycare? That way you get to work out in peace and your kids are entertained away from you.

Do you have a partner? Maybe he could watch them in the evening while you had some alone time to work out or whatever.

When my kids were little I stayed at home all day with them, but a few nights a week I waited tables. I loved to go to work bc it meant I could talk to adults!!

Hang in there- it won't be like this forever. Feel free to message me if you want to vent some more:)

AudreyinNC · September 2012

Sounds like something else may be going on as well. Sounds very familiar to my PPD after my daughter was born. You may need to speak with your Doctor about your bouts of sadness and get that in check before you can truly focus on anything else.

BelleHeart · September 2012

I feel the EXACT same way! Especially since school has started again. It seems like there isn't enough time in the day! But hold in there! Look down the road and know that this is for the best! And always remember " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

MB_Positif · September 2012

First of all...HUGS for you! I think your best bet is to try and find something you can do that can be done together (like bike rides or hiking)...or like someone else said, put on a DVD or something to keep the kids occupied. This way you don't have to get up so darn early. DON'T feel bad about taking time out for yourself while your kids are awake. It is good for them to see you taking care of yourself.

Lankylass1969 · September 2012

I'm glad someone else has mentioned depression as that was what shouted to me when I read your post. Perhaps you are trying to do too much too soon. If you have a friendly doctor you could see for help and advice they might help you to see a clearer more fulfilling path. Don't give up trying to lose weight just maybe try less hard. How old are your children?

Lleldiranne · September 2012

Is there a reason you have to get up so early to work out? You said you're a stay at home mom. Why not sleep till 7 or so? Your kids are old enough they can even "work out" with you. I've done many workouts with baby in the swing or 3 year old trying to do what mommy does. It may not be the idea workout (yep, plenty of interruptions) but probably no worse that what you've got now. Sleep deprivation can seriously stall out your weight loss efforts!!

I think it's natural to feel discouraged our burned out at times. Makes sure you're not trying to lose too fast (don't cut too many calories or become too much of an exercise fiend). And it's okay to take a break every so often. You'd have to really really overdo it to gain 2 lbs of fat in a week (that's 7000 calories over maintenance!! You've most likely seen water fluctuations due to sodium)

In the long run, it's worth it. It doesn't matter how long it takes, or that there are detours along the way. It matters that you are building a healthier lifestyle, and setting the example for your kids,

sunshine2212677 · September 2012

Totally get you here.
I get up at 5:15am 6 days a week, go to the gym, get showered in their bathroom and go to work, work all day, having my shakes and my healthy snacks and meals whilst everyone else hits the junk cupboard staying skinny.

Today someone brought in homemade cupcakes, loaded with so much fat and sugar i dare not contemplate it, so i ate my celery and nuts.
Today i feel exhausted and awful.

The root of all this feeling?

I missed my morning workout!
When i miss my workout i struggle every hour of the day against “fatty the food monster”
It’s almost like it triggers a start as you mean to go on attitude in my head – i missed my workout, so what’s the point? lets write off today, my confidence gets shot through and my motivation goes.

But you know what was worse?
Sitting on the floor in the changing rooms of a store trying to find SOMETHING that wouldn’t make me look like Shamu in spandex.
Being out of breath walking to the local shop for some milk.

That’s what i think about when i get like that.

I think about how i look in clothes now, how i feel different when i go out, how yes the people near and dear to me really couldn’t give two hoots what i look like, but how deep down, i really do.
And its slow, and its hard, but i’m getting there, and i have a lot less down days on my journey than i did before i started it.

Take a few days out from the crazy early get ups, relax, take some vitamins.
Get your head thinking about not just what you’re aiming for, but how you feel from the beginning to now confidence wise.

Everyone has doubts and needs some down time when they’re working so hard.

xx

susie_Q1985 · September 2012

I am A stay at home mum also and find it hard to fit in with dealing with all 5 kids and housework our youngest are 4 and 7 rest are around 9 and 10 but I fit it in at night when kids are asleep or get my 4 year old to join in when i do it in mornings. she loves copying what i'm doing. other than that go for a run up the hill with kiddie on your back nothing like doing that to burn few calories. its hard i know but i usually work around it so i can do it but i'm lucky in that i have a supportive partner who helps out.
Is there not even any friends or relatives who would take him out for a bit until you do a workout at decent time.

follmer20 · September 2012

My boyfriend is very supportive of me. But...his job he works 12 hr days 28 days in a row, then has 2 weeks off...so the month that he works, he gets up at 3, and doesn't get home till 7 at night then eats, showers, goes to bed around 830-9.... So that's not an option for him to watch them a little. I don't mind getting up early as I'm used to it now...I think I just need to take more ME time because the only time I get to myself now is in the morning and my mom takes the kids a day here and there....maybe I should take one day a week and have someone watch them where I can do my own thing?? But then I feel guilty? Is that normal??

Nikkie_too · September 2012

Sorry you're feeling so frustrated at the moment. There are lots of good tips from people here! I'm sure you'll find a way to work it all in.

I don't think you should feel guilty about having someone watch the little one(s) for a while now and then. It doesn't have to be all day.

I couldn't tell from your post, but I'm wondering if you get enough sleep since you get up soooo early...? Adequate sleep is so important for weight loss and general health. When I sleep well and enough, life and weight loss seem to work more smoothly.

Google for more info, but here's a little article to get you started: http://www.shape.com/latest-news-trends/sleep-and-weight-loss-why-getting-your-zzzs-important

yksdoris · September 2012

Not necessarily Post Partum but honestly, your post shouted to me that something is wrong! It's almost exactly how I felt about two years-1,5 years ago, all due to work stress (I'm a worryer and a perfectionist). I didn't want to know what it was, so I don't know if it was a full-blown depression or a burn-out or whatever label fit on it. I'm just glad I'm out of it.

It helped me to go see a professional. It helped my stress levels to get physically exhausted (gym!) and that in turn helped me sleep, but that was just treating the symptoms, not the cause. Every person is different so maybe for you this won't be the same eye-opener it was for me, but... what finally turned the corner for me was when my psychologist asked me if I thought if my BF (or mom) would love me any less if I was horrible at my job, does every typo somehow diminish his love for me? Likewise, your children will love you no matter what! They will love you as much as you love them. And that is because of your personality, not whether or not you get an excercise in or how much weight you've lost or put on!

Most importantly though, you're determined to lose the weight, right? Hence MFP and the workouts - but remember: you are doing this for yourself, it's ok to be selfish sometimes because only by being your own person can you give your children the best role model they could ever have. They'll grow up to like workouts (because as you said: kids like to imitate mommy!), they'll grow up to be rational about food. And all of that because of YOU! But only if you do this for you, just to make you happy.

P.S.
The problem for me was also that I wasn't happy with my weight and as a way of punishing myself for making mistakes, I'd eat. Eat and hate myself more with every bite. But when I was again happy with who I was inside, that compulsion kind of... went away. Though, being on MFP has helped me control the "down" feelings even more, sometimes I wouldn't even notice that I'd start eating more junk but with logging, I can see and rationalize every bite and not eat my feelings any more.

tigertrax3 · September 2012

My kids never liked to take naps, but were always willing to take a nap if i layed down with them. Try that. It'll give you lots of energy for the evening and you won't feel so resentful for waking up so darn early.

coppertop_4 · September 2012

My boyfriend is very supportive of me. But...his job he works 12 hr days 28 days in a row, then has 2 weeks off...so the month that he works, he gets up at 3, and doesn't get home till 7 at night then eats, showers, goes to bed around 830-9.... So that's not an option for him to watch them a little. I don't mind getting up early as I'm used to it now...I think I just need to take more ME time because the only time I get to myself now is in the morning and my mom takes the kids a day here and there....maybe I should take one day a week and have someone watch them where I can do my own thing?? But then I feel guilty? Is that normal??

Yes... it is normal to feel "guilty" about leaving your kids to have ME time. BUT IT IS ESSENTIAL! You will be so much more into your kids after you have ME time!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even if you just have someone at your home, and you can lock yourself in your workout room, crank the music, and have ZERO interuption once a week! Anything you do will be a GOOD thing and it could totally fix these downer times! Sometimes a hour of recharge for you is all you need. I 15 minute hot shower without hearing my son and without interuptions.... can totally change my mood! I love my kid... but the terrible two's not so much

I hate leaving my kids with a sitter to go to a movie with my husband somtimes (we both work shift work and 12 hours shifts so we never see each other) but afterwards we both feel better having "us" time too!

Why?

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