Low self esteem... :(

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Sid1988
Sid1988 Posts: 170 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone,

I seem to be struggling with my confidence and self esteem at the moment.

Throughout my life my weight has been up and down, i've been called fat and i've been called fit as i've always just crashed dieted, lost alot of weight but gained it straight back. i'm at the point in my life where i want some stability and something i can maintain throughout, i've had to have a lifestyle change but it's definitely for the better, i've been a member on here since May this year and i have no intentions of giving up, and for the first time i haven't, i'm sticking at it and it's a good feeling because change has got to start somewhere right?

5"6
SW: 157lbs
CW: 140lbs
GW: 126lbs

I'm enjoying the change in eating habits and excercising more but i just can't seem to love myself.

I have never felt so insecure and self consious as i do now and i dont know why? i am losing weight, my friends and family are all commenting about how great i am looking, so why don't i feel it?

I've been with my boyfriend since Christmas last year, and truth be told he is a massive influence as to why i want to get in shape and be healthy, he's never made any comments and tells me i'm perfect but in my own head i feel like i am not good enough for him. he's extremely good looking, i find it hard to believe i've bagged someone like him. he's tall, he works out alot and is he's in great shape and i always think that someone better might come along or that he's too good for me.

Does anyone else suffer from this like i do? and if so, any tips on over coming it?

I'm 24 and I lost my mum 2 years ago and i took on the responsibility of becoming my little brothers legal guardian after she died. i don't know if that has anything to do with the way i feel, i know they say certain events happen in your life that will change you so i'm not sure if this is linked?

i just want to be able to appreciate myself and be happy and to be proud of myself and what i have achieved so far.

any advise or help appreciated :)

Replies

  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
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    One place to start might be to keep track of when you start feeling down on yourself. See if anything specific is triggering it.

    Another idea if you are feeling stuck might be to do some short term therapy. Just one or two sessions with a counselor could help you get some insight into why your confidence is low and what to do about it.
  • Shadowsan
    Shadowsan Posts: 365 Member
    Options
    Hi everyone,

    I seem to be struggling with my confidence and self esteem at the moment.

    Throughout my life my weight has been up and down, i've been called fat and i've been called fit as i've always just crashed dieted, lost alot of weight but gained it straight back. i'm at the point in my life where i want some stability and something i can maintain throughout, i've had to have a lifestyle change but it's definitely for the better, i've been a member on here since May this year and i have no intentions of giving up, and for the first time i haven't, i'm sticking at it and it's a good feeling because change has got to start somewhere right?

    5"6
    SW: 157lbs
    CW: 140lbs
    GW: 126lbs

    I'm enjoying the change in eating habits and excercising more but i just can't seem to love myself.

    I have never felt so insecure and self consious as i do now and i dont know why? i am losing weight, my friends and family are all commenting about how great i am looking, so why don't i feel it?

    I've been with my boyfriend since Christmas last year, and truth be told he is a massive influence as to why i want to get in shape and be healthy, he's never made any comments and tells me i'm perfect but in my own head i feel like i am not good enough for him. he's extremely good looking, i find it hard to believe i've bagged someone like him. he's tall, he works out alot and is he's in great shape and i always think that someone better might come along or that he's too good for me.

    Does anyone else suffer from this like i do? and if so, any tips on over coming it?

    I'm 24 and I lost my mum 2 years ago and i took on the responsibility of becoming my little brothers legal guardian after she died. i don't know if that has anything to do with the way i feel, i know they say certain events happen in your life that will change you so i'm not sure if this is linked?

    i just want to be able to appreciate myself and be happy and to be proud of myself and what i have achieved so far.

    any advise or help appreciated :)

    As silly as it sounds... Have you stopped to ask your boyfriend what about you he loves? Maybe that will help you out.

    Also - have you ever heard the theory of self-fulfilling prophecy? If you believe something enough, subconsciously you'll end up making it happen. So if you constantly believe you're not good enough for him that will eventually be projected into your relationship and he'll feel like he can never make you happy... Which in turn will end up causing problems down the road.

    You need to appreciate yourself more. You are a strong person (read one of my other posts earlier - you're living proof that you never know how strong you are until you're faced with adversity and you've had plenty of that) and that is a fantastic quality.

    Don't let anyone ever put you down. Know yourself, and embrace who you are because it obviously attracted your boyfriend to you in the first place :)
  • hippychickuk
    hippychickuk Posts: 93 Member
    Options
    Don't let anyone ever put you down. Know yourself, and embrace who you are because it obviously attracted your boyfriend to you in the first place :)

    Definitely this! And as the other poster said too, you might consider some therapy. At 24, surprise, no one has themselves totally figured out. Sheesh, I'm 43 and I know I still have a lot to learn about myself. Talking with a professional, you might start to learn what makes you tick, how you react to situations, and how you can choose to react differently. You can choose to be the person you want to be, you are never "stuck." Rather than label yourself as someone with low self-esteem, recognise that sometimes you are unsure about yourself, but that is not your label. When you are feeling low, realise that this is a reaction to some trigger and that you can control your reaction. I'm no therapist, so not sure if this makes sense. :)

    Best of luck, and great job on your current weight loss and committment to mfp!

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