Doubts...

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3liza
3liza Posts: 32 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello everyone..so after feeling a little discouraged I decided to post this. After falling off the wagon for a couple of weeks I decided to resume my diet. and what better way to do it than to weigh yourself right? :wink: I stepped on the scale and couldn't believe my eyes! Turns out I had lost 7 pounds even while I wasn't watching my diet! Needless to say I was ecstatic! I wanted to tell my husband and to this he replied "You know it'll get harder to loose weight right?"..So after his comment I felt so...insecure. lots of questions started to pop in my head like, Can I really do this? Do I really want It? do I really want to be thin or skinny?? What if I look worse when I loose it? (I've been overweight since I was teen). Why would my husband say something like that instead of something encouraging? I asked and he said "I'm just saying" ??? all the ppl in his family are thin and fit including him and he weighs about 30 pounds less than me. I guess what Im trying to get at really is has any of you found yourself feeling insecure about being able to do this? Thank You in advance:smile:

Replies

  • Gdzgal771
    Gdzgal771 Posts: 152 Member
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    we are all in this boat together. DONT let ANYONE help plant doubts in your mind!! DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS.. im 63, was pretty much sedentary, had little motivation or encouragement yet lost 64 lbs i less than a year..: if i am doing it-- ANYONE- ESPECIALLY YOU- certainly can!! HUGGZ.. we CAN do this!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • MelodyAnn323
    MelodyAnn323 Posts: 38 Member
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    I have only felt like I was an "almost normal" weight once in my life, just before I left for college. Even then I was pretty insecure. I find myself constantly having to battle self doubt. The crazy thing is, I find I battle it most when I am having the most success. This morning I was finally down half a pound after hovering around the same number for almost two weeks. Instead of thinking, "awesome, I am doing it!", I found myself discouraged about how far I have to go. I can't picture what a fit version of me looks like because I have never seen it, so then I start to wonder if it's even possible for someone like me. OF COURSE IT'S POSSIBLE! Just like it's possible for you. If we can keep our eyes on the prize and focus on making it a day-at-a-time process while we appreciate the small victories, I think we'll be looking back at better versions of ourselves before we know it. Better confidence, better health, better body. Glad to know I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this.
  • mdmorgan25
    mdmorgan25 Posts: 15 Member
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    Any time you make a big change in your life there are doubts...job, move, diet, whatever! I say if YOU feel you will feel better and be healthier at a lower weight then go for it! It won't be long before you husband sees the changes and will most likely compliment you on them. The big thing here is that a lifestyle change (or diet) has to be something you want to do for YOU or it will never work and you won't maintain it even if you do make the goal. Keep your head up! :)
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,738 Member
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    I think we are all insecure from time to time.

    I don't think you should take his statement as discouragement.

    What he said is generally true, the smaller you get, the harder it is to lose weight. Also, the more you lose/gain, lose/gain, the harder it seems to get too.

    But that shouldn't stop you.

    Yes, the 4th, 5th err 20th time I lost the weight did seem to be harder than the first, but it was worth it. Not only because I look better but, more importantly, because my health is better.

    You can do this.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    I've always wondered if I could do it. . .until I did it! And let me tell you, it feels fantastic to know that the planning, scheduling, hard work and $$ spent all worked!!! My biggest challenge was taking on running. And now that I've run a half marathon and am gearing up for my 2nd on this year. . .I realize that I CAN do this. I CAN be healthy. I CAN be fit. And so can you.

    Often times guys, my wonderful hubby included, say things that they think are being helpful or "forewarning" and instead they come off sounding mean spirited. Yeah. . .it you have to work harder to lose more weight, but you are getting stronger and more fit so it will be a challenge, not something that will overwhelm you.

    Be strong. Be determined. You will surprise yourself a year from now if you really dedicate yourself to changing your habits and health! I'm rooting for you!!!
  • Seriousmom3
    Seriousmom3 Posts: 164
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    Im not insecure about being able to follow the diet, although I do worry if I will reach my goal weight without a lot of exercise. You shouldn't get discouraged about being able to continue. Use that little surprise to fuel your motivation.
  • citizencrp
    citizencrp Posts: 228 Member
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    I am constantly insecure. CONSTANTLY.
    Like, always...all the time. Really unsure about this whole thing.
    Quite unsteady.

    BUT- this experience of getting healthier, like life, is all about choices. So I try to distract myself from thinking about the big picture, unless it's trying to imagine myself fitter, and smaller, and healthier, and happier. Otherwise, it becomes really overwhelming. Just reading your post, my heartrate went up and my breathing became stressed, and my brow became furrowed.
    I try to focus on the next decision I'm going to have to make about my health and not about how many freaking decisions I'm going to have to make in order to get to where I truly want to be ultimately, because then I think I can't do it, and do I even really want to and all that.
    But I can handle "I'm hungry, what am I going to eat right now?" and "I haven't weighed myself in 3 days, maybe I should. Or maybe I shouldn't?" Seriously. I deal with complex situations at work and in my personal life and this can all get added on to it if I let it, so I try not too.

    Granted, your hubs was not right to say what he said. Not that he's wrong, because he's correct in what he said, but it was unwise. But, he doesn't know better. How could he? He's never struggled with this type of thing. It might take you a while to teach him about your complicated experience with weight, food, and health, but try.
  • vb4evr
    vb4evr Posts: 615 Member
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    YOU sound like you have done made some fantastic changes and have had some great results. Don't lose that and don't let doubt stop your journey. I created a collage of some of my favorite quotes that I've put on my computer desktop and when I'm questioning I look at it.

    Two of my favorites that apply to this are.
    "The voice in your head that says you can't do this is a lair"
    "I refuse to give up on myself"

    Also as males we can say some pretty stupid stuff. I'm sure what he meant is that as you continue to lose weight it will be harder to lose actual weight but you will continue to make positive changes to your body.. ie leaner, healthier, stronger.

    Don't forget you have a great support system here. Just give yourself a chance.

    Try to see if I can post my collage.
    p1106793964-4.jpg
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
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    Skinny is overrated, healthy is far too underrated.

    Happy for you that you lost 7 pounds though! I don't really have an issue like that with my hubby, he's very supportive. sometimes our guys just say things without thinking, just like we do. But it hurts us when they say something negative about our weight loss because they are usually the ones we need the most support from.

    At any rate, don't give doubt a place in your mind. You can do it, and think of it as a side victory when you can rub the numbers of your goal weight in his face :wink:
  • karensoxfan
    karensoxfan Posts: 902 Member
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    I guess what Im trying to get at really is has any of you found yourself feeling insecure about being able to do this?

    Yes. Nearly every day of my adult life. But every day is full of choices. Some days I make better choices than others. Some days I've even decided that I didn't *want* my goals enough to work towards them at all. But for me, right now, the key is to keep trying. Even if you doubt whether you'll succeed. The only way to know for sure is to try. And if the reasons and/or reward are strong enough, that motivation will outweigh your doubts & temptations.

    I don't know why your husband responded the way he did to your unexpected 7 lb. loss (congratulations, by the way!), but he said it, and the choices about what to make of it and where to go from there are 100% yours. You can overanalyze it and let it derail your efforts, or you can let it slide, or respond a hundred other ways. Which response is most productive for you? Which response will push you one step closer to achieving your goals?
  • Feisty_Red
    Feisty_Red Posts: 982 Member
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    I'd be happy dancing that..all the way down the block.. right on :bigsmile:
  • 3liza
    3liza Posts: 32 Member
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    we are all in this boat together. DONT let ANYONE help plant doubts in your mind!! DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS.. im 63, was pretty much sedentary, had little motivation or encouragement yet lost 64 lbs i less than a year..: if i am doing it-- ANYONE- ESPECIALLY YOU- certainly can!! HUGGZ.. we CAN do this!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Thank you for the kind words and inspiration.:happy:
  • 3liza
    3liza Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    YOU sound like you have done made some fantastic changes and have had some great results. Don't lose that and don't let doubt stop your journey. I created a collage of some of my favorite quotes that I've put on my computer desktop and when I'm questioning I look at it.

    Two of my favorites that apply to this are.
    "The voice in your head that says you can't do this is a lair"
    "I refuse to give up on myself"

    Also as males we can say some pretty stupid stuff. I'm sure what he meant is that as you continue to lose weight it will be harder to lose actual weight but you will continue to make positive changes to your body.. ie leaner, healthier, stronger.

    Don't forget you have a great support system here. Just give yourself a chance.

    Try to see if I can post my collage.

    My favorite is the very first one with the road.. definitely applies to me. Thank
    You !
  • 3liza
    3liza Posts: 32 Member
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    My husband does tend to say that I overanalize what he says sometimes..I'm afraid he's right. Thanks for all your kind words and advise you guys! Y'all made me realize a few things I hadn't taken into consideration.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :bigsmile:
  • justlistening
    justlistening Posts: 249 Member
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    Losing 7 lbs without even trying sounds awesome!! Sounds like you were watching your diet without really watching it. That is great because you want to make a lifelong change. Hubby is probably worried about you getting disappointed later...
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
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    i thought that it would be really hard for me to lose the extra 10-15 lbs i had put on cuz everyone says its harder when u just need to lose a little, but it turns out it was really easy. if u are burning more calories than u are consuming, u will lose weight, whether u need to lose 5 or 50 lbs.

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