Ever have one of those days????

AmberJo1984
AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
in Motivation and Support
There's a lady (a volunteer) I work with every Friday that just CANNOT give me a compliment. She has been hammering it into me for months to lose weight. Now that I HAVE finally made that choice (for MYSELF and for the right reasons), now I'm not doing it right. Everything is a mistake. "You shouldn't do this.... You shouldn't do that... Don't eat one bite over this... Don't eat over 1200 calories PERIOD.... You should really just stay under 1000 calories PERIOD. Don't add back on what you exercise off." I feel like just crying. And, to top it off... now I want to go grab a large bowl of ice cream, crawl in bed, and not get back out. See.... this is what it's like to be an emotional eater. Some people need to get a life and stop focusing on everyone else's.

Oh... and the best part... she's fat. And... I know that sounds mean. I really hate saying that. But... she's seriously larger than me. She never diets or eats right or exercises. She goes out to eat almost every night of the week. Yet... she wants to criticise me? I hate it when people just can't say anything motivational. If she hears anything she could compliment, she just turns away and starts a different topic. She only stays on a topic if she can complain about something.

And, I shouldn't blame the lady for my habits. I'm an emotional eater... but, I still should have the will power to NOT eat that large bowl of ice cream.

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    She's what they call "toxic". There are books about her. My suggestion is to say, "Really? Are you giving me unsolicited advice? Because, I don't need it, thanks."

    Walk away, ignore her - and no matter what, don't talk about your weight loss/healthy plan with her.. . okay, don't talk to her. At. All. :wink:
  • 2011JAM
    2011JAM Posts: 49 Member
    don't let her win.. be strong and proud of yourself.... the smaller you get the harder it will be for her..
    and remember to smile sweetly at her, dont let her know she is annoying you... it's just one day a week..
    you can do it,,
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    ...p.s. step away from the ice cream. (I just spelled that in my head, like my parents used to do...i.c.e.c.r.e.a.m.)
  • blonde71
    blonde71 Posts: 955 Member
    Haters gonna hate.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    she's probably so insecure in herself that she feels the need to bash you. Sad.
  • niftyfifty47
    niftyfifty47 Posts: 87 Member
    Just ignore her...like you said you're doing this for YOU not for her....tell her to get a life!!
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
    Every time this person gives you crap just smile and know you have
    a LOT of friends here that believe in you!
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Thanks, everyone. I guess I'm just too emotional. I really do need to learn to walk away and ignore it. After all, it is just one day out of each week. And... after today, I don't even have to see her for 2 weeks. I'm off next Friday. I should be happy. I AM HAPPY!!! Well... I'm getting there. LOL.
  • michellematteson
    michellematteson Posts: 134
    Sounds like she is insecure and insulting you to make herself feel better. You have two options at this point:

    Ignore her. If she starts talking *kitten*, smile and walk away. Don't talk about weight loss with her and if she brings it up, change the subject. If she insists, walk away. At some point she will get the point and stop talking about it or stop talking to you altogether. Which doesn't sound like much of a bad thing.

    Second thing is to call her out on it. Next time she says "Don't eat over 1,000 calories!" ask her if she ate 1,000 calories just in dinner last night. If she says not to eat exercise calories ask her when was the last time she got on a treadmill. Again, she will either get a clue or stop talking to you. Again, no skin off your nose.

    You can't control other people, but you can control how they treat you. If you show her that her behavior is not welcomed she will change. Either she will see what she is doing is not affecting you and stop or learn not to mess with you.
  • niftyfifty47
    niftyfifty47 Posts: 87 Member
    Never let nasty people get to you.......if you do you let them win their stupid little mind games. She must have a very empty life and maybe her weight is from substituting food for the rest of her miserable existance.
  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
    Some people are dilholes.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    ...p.s. step away from the ice cream. (I just spelled that in my head, like my parents used to do...i.c.e.c.r.e.a.m.)

    LOL. Luckily, I wasn't around any when I posted this. I'm still at work. I came straight to the people I knew would understand and who could give me the good kick in the butt I needed to stay focused.
  • Pepperpenny
    Pepperpenny Posts: 2 Member
    Do what is best for you and ignore your haters.If she is still giving advice to you,just kindly let her know you are doing what works for you.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Every time this person gives you crap just smile and know you have
    a LOT of friends here that believe in you!

    Thank you.:smile:
  • jaj68
    jaj68 Posts: 158 Member
    sounds like she is plain ol' jealous. It is really easy to find fault with people who have what we want. :) Keep up the good work
  • lindsiswatchingyou
    lindsiswatchingyou Posts: 114 Member
    I agree with everyone else above me. I'd like to add one tip: when I feel like giving up, I come on MFP and talk on the message boards, or go to Fat2FitRadio.com and listen to an uplifting podcast...I bury myself in positivity until I've learned something new and have this desire to get up and do more.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    I agree with everyone else above me. I'd like to add one tip: when I feel like giving up, I come on MFP and talk on the message boards, or go to Fat2FitRadio.com and listen to an uplifting podcast...I bury myself in positivity until I've learned something new and have this desire to get up and do more.

    That's a great idea. I'm learning to do more of that... a little at a time.
  • UrbanWild
    UrbanWild Posts: 48
    I'm not that kind. The older I get, the less I care what people think. I probably would say, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

    And you are already a better person than she is because you are HERE!
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
    Don't engage in that conversation with her. Shrug your shoulders and walk away.
    There are 8 billion people in the world don't let ONE spoil your efforts.
  • roohill
    roohill Posts: 87 Member
    When I lost weight in the past, I had a :"friend" that couldn't keep up with the diet and exercise, even though I wanted her to badly.. ( she's no longer in my life... she was toxic.) I later found out she told people that there was no way I did it with diet and exercise, cause she was doing the same plan, and didn't lose a lb.... and that I took diet pills. I've never taken a diet pill in my life. my point, you can't control the opinions of others. Do what works for you!!! :) Or come right out and tell her to stop it. You only work with her one day of the week ,it could be very liberating to just say.. " Enough" okay.. I'm proud of what I'm doing, and its working. Sounds like she's trying to make losing weight sound harder than it needs to be, to derail you, and to I guess explain why she's "fat" cause its just not as easy as you are saying... lol even though the proof is right in front of her. She'll end up eating her words.. no pun intended.
  • dewgirl321
    dewgirl321 Posts: 296 Member
    Sorry you have to deal with her negativity. Try to let whatever she says go in one ear and out the other if you have to be around her. It's great that you've decided to make a change for YOU. You'll get plenty of support here! Go for a walk instead of having that bowl of ice cream - you'll feel better! :flowerforyou:

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