subconscious sabotage?

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bullisnn82
bullisnn82 Posts: 110
in Motivation and Support
my husband went to the gym last night, then afterward called me asking "white or chocolate?" (I HATE THIS GAME, but more on that later) I responded with "neither" and he proceeded to continue (bullheaded, much?) so I finally said chocolate. He comes home with a tray of 10 cupcakes (my weakness) and I didn't have the heart to yell at him because I think, atleast on the surface, he was trying to do something sweet (punny). Needless to say, now there are no longer 10 of them, sigh. I don't do well with treats in the house because they call to me. I can't just throw them out (because they were technically a gift, and not JUST for me). What do you guys do in a situation like that?

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  • debjae
    debjae Posts: 242
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    Sounds like deliberate sabotage. Throw them out if they are a gift you can do whatever you want with them. Treats call to me and I cant have them in the house.
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
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    I can't have anything treat-y in the house. they have a siren song and call/beckon/shout/scream at me. My sister often buys me little treats, cakes and chocolates. In our family, food is how we express emotions and show love and its hard work making her understand that i appreciate the thought and gesture but do not want them in my house. i just have to be firm and say no and ask her not to bring those things to my house. Its hard, but she's beginning to get the message.

    Learn to stay no and stick to it. Explain to your other half why you say no and that you need him either not to ask, or take no for an answer. Its hard.
  • irishcanadianwoman
    irishcanadianwoman Posts: 147
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    If he knows that you are trying to eat healthy and avoid cupcakes then it is deliberate sabotage - nothing subtle about it at all.

    I agree that if they are a gift you can throw them out. At least toss out (your) half of them. He will get the idea after a few times. But if you eat them he will think that you want them after all and he will continue doing it.

    How about next time you say,"I'd love some oranges", "I'd prefer some fresh peaches please" or "I'd love it if you would pick up a pre-made salad". etc. etc.

    There are a number of things I just don't keep in the house because I would eat them!

    Good luck!
  • EdgyMcSterious
    EdgyMcSterious Posts: 51
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    Sounds like you're being manipulated, throw them out.
  • light_bulb99
    light_bulb99 Posts: 6 Member
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    Perhaps you could ask him to save the money and put it towards something you'd both enjoy (not food related!) - most people I know who have problems with their weight use food as a treat, a reward and a comfort, so it's a good idea to plan treats that don't involve food :) Maybe a trip to the cinema or something like that?
  • Jkmumma
    Jkmumma Posts: 254
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    If he's being manipulative, manipulate back and make him eat some too, or throw them out and tell him he's a jerk.

    If he's TRYING to be sweet, throw them out one at a time, at about the speed you would eat them, and have a friendly talk about healthier treat options. (STRAWBERRIES NOM)
  • brneydgrlie
    brneydgrlie Posts: 464 Member
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    Either hold a couple for you and your honey and bring the rest to work, or freeze them and take one out at a time when you have a designated "cheat day".
  • cmcorn26
    cmcorn26 Posts: 253 Member
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    Well even if he is trying to be nice...is he really? Respect is the word that comes to mind...his respect for your choice to want to be healthy.
    Throw them out.
  • bullisnn82
    bullisnn82 Posts: 110
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    I didn't throw them away (prob should've) instead I ate 5, well, technically, I only ever eat the frosting, as I believe the cake part is just to hold up the frosting. I exercised enough today that I only went 100 cal. over my daily goal, so I say HA! try and sabotage me, just makes me stronger! I am going to have to have a talk with him about it, though.
  • Agator82
    Agator82 Posts: 249 Member
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    I didn't throw them away (prob should've) instead I ate 5, well, technically, I only ever eat the frosting, as I believe the cake part is just to hold up the frosting. I exercised enough today that I only went 100 cal. over my daily goal, so I say HA! try and sabotage me, just makes me stronger! I am going to have to have a talk with him about it, though.

    I would caution you on listening to relationship advice on these forums as it is often harsh and unrelenting. I think you are right (about the frosting and talking). If you thank him for the gesture and then ask him to encourage you with something that is less calorie dense I am sure he will follow through (it might take a few tries or he might forget).

    Us husbands love our wives and we remember things that the enjoyed from a previous experience and we want to recreate that experience for you (regardless of your current goals). If he finds something new that you like as much you can guarantee that he will bring you that in the future. Good luck!

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