oh my!

SimplyChaotic
SimplyChaotic Posts: 26
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
so im just venting here, but omg... i was talking to my mom tonight about me dieting and
shes always called me fat and overweight my whole life, and she makes me feel so crappy
about myself...

but then theres my boyfriend who says that i am beautiful just the way i am...

and now theres me...
i think i really want to get skinny because i dont want to be the fat daughter, i feel like
my mom is ashamed of me. She always compares me to my oldersister who weighed about
300 lbs when she was my age... 16... and now i dont know....
I dont want to be the fat girlfriend either...

i cant figure out if there is more reasons from others that i want to do this..

or if the only reason i havent already is because i dont want this for myself

my mom made me cry tonight... shes 60 years old... never been overweight her WHOLE life
and now shes sitting here infront of me calling herself FAT! she weighs 180!
she is constantly comparing herself to everyone else...

and i dont know, i dont know what I want ....

I want to do this for ME.... but what does ME really want!?????

THis is just the beginning of the emotional rollarcoaster of weight loss...

Replies

  • kerrin75
    kerrin75 Posts: 3
    it is good to let things out. This is a great place to do it!!!!!!!!!!!
  • vraehn
    vraehn Posts: 1,008
    Eating healthy is what is good for you. Cut out the fast food and sugar drinks. They are not healthy for you and eventually you body will suffer from them. Whether on not you lose weight is up to you. People are often unkind. The important thing is that you are healthy for you and if you decide that part of being healthy is losing weight, then do it for you. My daughter tells me "Mom, you're the one that bends the elbow that puts the food in your mouth. I think of that often. It is empowering as it makes me realize, I am in control of what I eat--good or bad. Good luck.:flowerforyou:
  • freedMan
    freedMan Posts: 68
    It sounds like you are doing this more to appease your mom. If I were you, It would have to be fully my decision to lose weight and become healthy...and not because my mom or significant otherthinks I'm fat.

    You lose weight because its your decision to change your life, not theirs! Once YOU decide that YOU want to be healthy because YOU are unhappy with yourslf, then YOU workout and make the needed lifestyle changes!
  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
    You seem like such a sweet person! I am sorry that others, especially your mother, have been critical of you. It sounds like you already have a pretty good self image.

    I agree with the earlier post. Focus on eating healthy and see how that goes. If your focus is to be healthy but in the process you lose weight too, well then that is just a bonus!

    I agree with you that doing this for anyone other than yourself will not work. You might be able to muster up the determination based on other peoples thoughts and statements at first but eventually it has to be for you.

    Take one step today towards health and maybe as things start to happen you will find a reason to do it.

    Best of Luck!

    DD
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Your Mom could take a lesson from you, you seem very wise for a 16year old young lady.

    If you were raised in a home in which your Mom has always cared about what "Other People" think, and always is comparing herself to others, you are going to have some distortions in how you perceive yourself.

    But deep inside you know that you will be happier if you are at a healthy weight. Forget about what your Mom says - and think about what you want. Soon you will be old enough to begin your own life away from your Mom, and would you like to be overweight, or give yourself every opportunity in life by becoming the best you can be? If you have battled your weight in the past, and if your mom has tried to get you to lose weight, it makes sense to me that you would rebel against that......at least that's what I would have done. My relationship with my Mom was less than perfect, so I used to like to irritate her.

    But from now on, think of yourself as an adult, because you almost are one. Make your own decisions. Look inside yourself for what you know to be true about yourself.

    Come here for support if you are serious about losing weight. Let me tell you, you will be much happier when you are at a healthier weight. There is so much to do! Enjoy your youth - don't spend it sitting around. You should be out hiking and boating, and riding bikes and horses and swimming and all the things young people do.

    Start now.
  • Holton
    Holton Posts: 1,018
    Gotta love those Moms, but you certainly don't have to talk to them about what you are doing if they are not supportive. My mother is a very negative person and it took a long time, but I finally realized that I don't want to be like her. I would kindly suggest that while you maintain your relationship with your mother, if you find she is giving you negative remarks or interfering with healthy goals you have set for yourself, you find the courage to say "hey Mom, I hear you, but I don't want to feed myself these negative thoughts, so guess we will talk another time, love you........." then hang up the phone. You need to lose weight to be healthy and to feel good about yourself. IF you lose 1 pound a month that is an accomplishment! She will either get the message, or unfortunately, you will find that you talk with her less. Negative thinking is a downer and undermines your goals. IT doesn't mean you don't love your mother, but you need to choose a healthy lifestyle, and if she doesn't support it, then she has the problem, NOT you.
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  • jhoopes
    jhoopes Posts: 3
    Bless your heart, it is awful to not have the support from those we seek it most....... but stick to your guns and try not to fixate on the SKINNY PART......your beauty will radiate at whatever size you feel comfortable. Seek being healthy and fit. Confidence comes with this in time. Maybe your mom is insecure so she feels the need to vent this onto you. Don't let her have the power to discourage you..... Maybe her seeing your success will motivate her to do something...... Keep up the good work and stay positive.......and keep telling yourself YOU CAN DO IT!!!! =+)
  • augustbells
    augustbells Posts: 113
    I know it is hard not to let what other people say bother you, but you must try. Anyone who casts negativity your way is only doing it because they don't like something about themselves. The next time your mom says something about your weight or calls you "fat" try to remember that for her to say that to you means she is unhappy about herself.
    Also, it may help to stop trying to be skinny and instead strive to be healthy. I tried to diet many many times because I wanted to be skinny like all my friends. Long story short...it didn't work. I'd end up feeling bad and gaining even more weight. This time when I started "dieting" I did it because of my health. My weight has been causing me health problems and I know that if I don't lose it I could end up with worse health problems. So I'm not only losing weight for myself but also for my health...I want to live a long healthy life!

    I hope some of this will help you.
  • SimplyChaotic
    SimplyChaotic Posts: 26
    Thank you all so very much for your love and support.
    Everything that you all have said to me have made me
    realize some things that I otherwise would not have seen.
    Thank you very much.

    Im doing this for me! =]
    FINALLY!
    :heart: :smile: :smile:
  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
    Yea! I am happy to hear this!! :love: :flowerforyou: Best of luck!:drinker:
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