What do you do when you feel so discouraged?

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I've just started out! And in one week have wrecked my diet twice, I know I can do this but what can I do when I feel lonely, sad, angry or just simply craving junk?
I need to do this for me and my kids and no one else but I think I look at myself and think this is going to take too long or even impossible because I'm too big ????
How can I change this mindset ? And what do you tell the devil in your ear when he says " just one bite!"
I'm also loving the support I'm getting so the more friends the more ill succeed so please add me ????

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  • TheArmadillo
    TheArmadillo Posts: 299 Member
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    keep a mood log. Look at what triggered the bad eating. What can you do to deal better with those triggers next time? What can you have in place to prevent you doing the same again?

    For example I eat through boredom. So I keep ideas of stuff to do when bored, best stuff is things that occupy my hands so I can't eat. So I paint my nails, or go for a walk (or more recently bike ride) or I clean/tidy, or I play the piano (something I complain I never get time to do) or I do one of those jobs that I never get round to doing. Find your own list of things to do when you're bored - take up up a new hobby that you've always wanted to do.

    If its stress or upset that makes you eat, what else can you do that will make you feel better that doesn't involve food - like exercise, or a relaxing bath or meditation.

    Treat it all as a learning experience and use the information to make you better.
  • TheArmadillo
    TheArmadillo Posts: 299 Member
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    Also something I read on here that was really useful for craving was someone who said work out exactly what it is that you are craving - whether that is the texture, the sweetness,/saltiness or whatever and find something healthier to replace that experience with.

    For example I crave 'comfort food' but have realised I think of indian food as comfort food as well and it does the same thing. So I can have a healthy homemade chicken curry with plenty of added veg and get the same feeling.
    Or if I want a biscuit (cookie) then it is the crunch and soft with the salty sweetness so I have an oatcake with peanut butter and sliced banana on top. I get the same effect but as long as I stick to one or 2 and only have a small amount of peanut butter and a small banana.
    They explained it much better than I did.
  • angelbabyskies
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    Firstly, I think you should get off the diet(NOT saying to eat unhealthily). Being on a diet is temporary and you can't "wreck" a lifestyle change. (Which you have your whole life to adjust to)

    " I think I look at myself and think this is going to take too long or even impossible because I'm too big"

    Time goes by and if you don't do anything now you'll either be heavier or the same in a year from now and then a you'll look back and realized you could have made some progress within a year.

    As for cravings, from my experience, I would not try to stop them at first. Just eat what your craving in a small portion and don't cut out any foods yet. You can cut down foods later on in your journey after you get cravings under control.
    Make small changes as they are easy to stick with and could possibly work faster than any big changes or thinking you have to all of a sudden eat perfect, exercise an hour a day, etc...
    Good luck =)
  • CaptainGraf
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    I agree, it's best to take things slow. I know I've gone down that road way too many times and thought, "Oh no, I caved into that chocolate bar and now I have to start all over again!", when in reality you're going to have a bad day at one point.

    When you decide to make a lifestyle change, you're allowed to eat whatever you want. The key is to try and make as many healthy decisions as you're able to, not to be perfect all the time. If you have a healthy breakfast instead of a slice of cake but have a handful of chips after dinner, at least you didn't have that slice of cake, right?

    I also agree that logging how you feel is a good idea. I know that I'm going to want to eat chocolate when I'm grumpy, so I don't go near the vending machines at school before my morning coffee. Just experiment to find ways to avoid old habits. Good luck!
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
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    I refuse to quit. I don't care what happens, I'm not quitting. I don't care how I feel, I'm not quitting. Fall down 5,000 times, so what. Don't quit and you won't fail. :flowerforyou:
  • MSimm62385
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    I look at old pictures of me when I was 40 lbs heavier. Never agaaaaain!
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
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    it takes awhile to get there. I have only recently recommitted. I finally see that I am worth it and that only I can do this.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Something that really helps for me, is only prepare enough food for one meal. Just one serving. So when that voice tells you "just one more bite!" it's impossible to cave in to it, because there aren't any more bites to have!

    Also, having small snacks throughout the day helps a lot of people. If you're only mildly hungry at mealtimes instead of insanely ravenous, you are less likely to want to stuff yourself.
  • cmaradyn
    cmaradyn Posts: 8 Member
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    So you cheated 2x... How many times did you cheat before you chose to be conscious about you food choices? I bet you had an improvement... Focus on the positives... It's a journey not an event!
  • spongebex
    spongebex Posts: 194 Member
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    What others have said really says it all... The only other thing I would add is that for me personally is looking at the success thread on here helps me stay motivated and asking myself "is it really worth it?" "do I really want it?". Taking a minute a minute to let your rational brain can sometimes surprise ourself with the self-restraint you can show when you give yourself the opportunity.

    Take each day one at a time - you can do this. One good choice at a time xx

    Edit: WE can do this
  • wclassy
    wclassy Posts: 20 Member
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    I started out the same way...discouraged....Wasn't losing any wait and a several days of eating at the fair didn't help. But, I went to the library and got some books on Dieting....more to learn how others dealt with their struggles and one book about The biggest loser team, and I felt inspired. Plus it kept my hands busy. So, Im still reading and now Im down 6 1/2 pounds so feeling stronger now. I wish you well, and good luck.
  • jessedd18
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    I feel discouraged sometimes also because I see other people eating all the foods I like with wreckless abandon! But, the most important lesson I have learned so far is portion control. I love MFP because it keeps me accountable for the calories. If I really want a certain food ( trust me I am a sucker for those birthday cake cupcakes - they scream my name! ) I will eat half of it and throw the rest away. Or, eat half and save the other half for another day. If I want something bad enough I will workout for it whether it be the YWCA or yard work. I have learned that some foods are NOT worth the extra workout so I can let the food go. One day at a time. One bite at a time. One calorie at a time. Remember you didn't put on the extra weight in a day and it will take a little while to get it off, but you will be so proud of yourself when you do. If you have children, remember that you are teaching them how to not be a quitter! You can do it!!! :):smile:
  • HockeyFan1987
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    When I feel discouraged, I look in the mirror and I look at the people around me who are attempting to discourage me. I then proceed to tell them that their discouragement in me doing better is only going to motivate me that much more. Then I stop and think to myself for a minute and I reflect back on something my dad was watching on the History channel a couple of weeks ago regarding Apollo 13 and what they could do to bring everyone back. They asked what their options were, and the lead person told them, "Do what you have to in order to bring those men home. Failure is not a option here!"

    So I tell myself anytime someone thinks I can't do something that Failure is NEVER an option and it makes me push that much harder for it.
  • susanswan
    susanswan Posts: 1,194 Member
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    When I truly started out over 5 years ago to lose 70 pounds. I started simply. Changing a habit at a time. First I got rid of all certifiable junk food. Candy bars, chips, cookies, bakery goods, etc. They have NO PLACE in a healthy lifestyle makeover.

    I had to come to terms with the fact that if I wanted to stop my cravings once in for all I had to get rid of sugar and refined grains (white flour, white rice, white pasta, etc.) from my diet FOR NOW UNTIL I MADE avoiding these things a habit. I made a 90 day commitment. If I couldn't do that the rest would be impossible for me. Read your labels.

    Watch your sodium intake. The latest recommendation is 1500mg per day.

    Drink your water. Stop drinking diet drinks, or canned/bottled drinks with ingredients that you can't find on the local grocery store shelf to make your own.

    I decided to eat fiber. If it didn't have fiber, I wasn't eating it. (for the most part - common sense, please.) Read your labels.

    Start exercising. Walking. NO excuses NOT to walk. You have feet. you have shoes. You can walk anywhere. Not glamorous, not the latest trend, but I needed to succeed. Walking 30 minutes a day, each and every day was doable. Doing an INSANITY work out was not for me.

    Eat lots more "wet" food. Fruits, vegetables, cooked beans.

    Cut WAY BACK on processed foods. Deli meat. Cheese. Anything that comes in a box, bag, carton, bottle, container that has a list of ingredients that you can't buy at the local grocery store.

    Realize that not everyone can lose 2 pounds a week. Some weeks you go up, some you go down, and some you stay the same. No matter what you just keep going. Even at 205 pounds I lost only 1.1 pounds a week over time for my first 53 pounds. Not impressive, but I did lose weight. It isn't magic and it doesn't always feel rewarding, but it does happen if you don't give up.

    Losing weight is difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. You need to realize if you want to lose weight you will have to do one thing for sure. Do not ever give up. You will want to give up, but don't. That made the difference for me this time. I've tried to lose weight a million times, but I always quit because I got hungry, lazy, bored, discouraged, or whatever. Quitting will keep you fat and make you fatter over time. Sticking with your program will improve your health and cause you to lose weight. You don't have to be perfect, you need to be consistent. If you stumble, you get back up. Nobody can do this but you.

    One last thing that helped me mentally was www.fatloser.com. Steve Siebold offers this free video lecture that comes to your email for 30 days and then he is gone. No spam, no fee, no strings. He is there to help you find your motivation. It worked for me. 8 - 20 minutes a day was the investment that changed my life.

    Good luck to you! You are capable of doing this, you just need to find your bootstraps!
  • roguestates
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    Are you trying too hard, too fast? Maybe start by making a couple small changes that will become habits, which will make them second nature so you won't have to consciously think about them. Your body/mind be fighting back because you're trying to do too much in a short amount of time.

    Some people require a clean start to sustain their loss, others need to slowly incorporate healthier changes. Which one are you?
  • musiche
    musiche Posts: 214 Member
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    Stop thinking and just do it.

    Consistency always pays off in the end. :)
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
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    When I feel discouraged, I go do something active outdoors. Then I work hard to try and pay attention to everything around me, if the weather is uncomfortable, I focus on that. I work at feeling every part of my body as I keep moving through the air. I consciously work at feeling any aches or pains I may be experiencing. Then I focus on those aches and pains and breathe deeply to provide oxygen to those parts of my body.

    If I'm feeling particularly down or stressed out, sometimes it is hard to get control of my thoughts, and they keep circling back to what is bothering me or anxiety I'm feeling (usually over some perceived failure). It is at those times that I have to push into the pain a little harder. I have to work harder and get my heart rate up to the point where I can barely breathe.

    When I was going through my divorce, I climbed a mountain that I KNEW I was not in any condition to tackle. I spent half the time balling my eyes out, when I wasn't concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. It took me about 6 hours to reach the peak (the hike was listed as a 3 hour hike), and something about arriving at that spot when I knew I wasn't in condition to get even halfway there, made all the issues over the divorce seem very doable.

    I think as humans, we tell ourselves all the things we think we can't do. The crazy thing is how do we know we can't do those things until we actually try?