What would you say....

MrsAgi
MrsAgi Posts: 338 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
To your only brother in the following situation:

It's my husband's brother's 40th birthday party. This is his only full brother. They are not the best of friends,but have never been estranged or anything like that....

We arrive, and the conversation goes like this:

BiL: would you like a beer?
Hubby: I can't drink, not for over three years now (note, we have seen BiL several times during those three years and not drunk)
BiL: you can have a couple though, I'll get you a lager
Hubby: No, I can't drink at all. All the medications I'm on kills my liver, and any alcohol makes me too ill.
BiL: They say that on the packet, but its not true. You can still drink.
Hubby: No, I can't. I have weekly liver reading tests as it is. I'm already at the highest levels allowed.
BiL: Oh. Bummer
Hubby: Yeah, I miss it sometimes.
BiL: I'll get you a glass of wine then....
Hubby: uh, no. That's still alcohol......

an hour later, we are getting to the speeches, and BiL wanders over with a glass of bubbly which he gives to hubby.......

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry :/

Replies

  • JessigirlJb
    JessigirlJb Posts: 656
    LOL i dont know about you but im very comfortable with my brother in laws and i honestly would probably say "um bill F#$% off he told you No!" then we'd laugh and move on .
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
    Chalk it up to ignorance and see this guy as little as possible. Your hubby KNOWS he can't drink and why, he told his brother that and the guy was still a jerk. You can't fix stupid! Don't let it upset you.
  • citygirl888
    citygirl888 Posts: 1 Member
    It is wonderful you can see the humor in the situation. I would probably be polite in refusing time and again. I understand some would choose a more blunt approach. I would also take a step back and look at what else is going on in his life that might explain his lack of attention to detail :).
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    Wow, what a jerk. He was probably already drinking. Don't try to reason with a drunk. Sorry there was no compasion there. And I'm sorry your husband is having liver trouble. I hope everything turns out ok.
  • MrsAgi
    MrsAgi Posts: 338 Member
    It is wonderful you can see the humor in the situation. I would probably be polite in refusing time and again. I understand some would choose a more blunt approach. I would also take a step back and look at what else is going on in his life that might explain his lack of attention to detail :).

    Honestly, the only thing going on his life is that he doesn't believe in illness - he's super healthy and doesn't want to see that people can get sick - especially incurably sick
  • professorRAT
    professorRAT Posts: 690 Member
    I get this ALL the time from everyone around me. I have a chronic autoimmune liver disease and I am not supposed to drink alcohol. People will ARGUE with me about it!! They will even tell me about their friend who had liver disease and once the medication cured it, they were able to drink again. I tell them my liver disease is incurable. They say "no, it isn't, my friend...". I tell them that I do not have the same liver disease that their friend had/has. Still they argue. Friends, family, even perfect strangers all have some reason why I am wrong and why it is just fine for me to drink. It is so bizarre and I really don't get it. Sadly, nothing has really stopped it Some people have actually said "Oh, so you are too good to have a drink with us?" Next time, I think I will just say "Yes, yes i am". If someone had told me these stories before I experienced them myself I would not have believed them.

    So, I think your husband will just have to stick to his guns and learn to ignore people. I don't think it will ever change.
  • professorRAT
    professorRAT Posts: 690 Member
    Actually, one helpful tip. I find if I always have a drink in my hand people will generally leave me alone. Something like Rose's lime and tonic with a lime wedge in it, so that it looks like a beverage with alcohol in it. I often bring my own if going to someone's house.
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