If you don't like it, then why do you eat it?

*** WARNING *** If you scroll down now, you will see that this post is longer than most. If you have the attention span of a West Nile Virus infected mosquito, please do not begin reading it, get sucked into my thoughtful prose and laying open of a sensitive emotionally vulnerable side of me, only to blame me and flame me for the length of this post later on. You have been warned.

Earlier this morning, I made a status update. It mentioned how I didn't like oatmeal, but I knew it was healthy for me, so I was eating it anyway. I received MANY helpful hints. Some were to disguise it with things I had never heard of (some kind of agave nector and flax seeds, which is what I thought they grew chia pets with). Others were to blend in things that, well, let's just say that they sort of defeat the purpose of being on MFP (chocolate chips, sugar, table salt, brown sugar, maple syrup, etc.). All of the responses, I am certain, were well intentioned. However, one response that I read was so simple, so elegant, so thought provoking, and so potentially life changing (for me), that I felt like I should share it with you here.

"If you don't like oatmeal, then why do you eat it."

Sounds simple enough. We are all familiar with the kid who, at 8:30 p.m.-- because of an ultimatum from mom or dad-- is sitting alone at the dining room table because he or she wouldn't eat his or her lima beans, spinach, liver, broccoli, or other nutritious yet culinary uninspiring ingredient. "Don't even THINK ABOUT getting up from that chair until you've finished your... "

Well, I am no kid, and my parents, rest their souls, were not involved in my oatmeal-based decision making this morning. Why, then, was I so compelled to eat my oatmeal no matter how gag-inducing it was? I knew that the question resonated deeply with me. I could tell because I practically ignored the Houston Texans opening game that I had looked forward to for weeks in order to think it through (according to my ESPN app, they won, 30-10 against the Dolphins, thank you very much).

Here's what I came up with.

The amount of oatmeal that I consumed for breakfast contained 600 calories, very little fat, NO sodium (a big issue for me), virtually NO sugar, 16 grams of protein, and lots of (I don't know the correct term) teeny-tiny woolygroobers that circulate in your veins and arteries and clean out the oogie-squoogie bad stuff). It filled me up for HOURS and left me many, many precious calories for me to enjoy later in the day (helooooooooo healthy tacos with grilled chicken and fish and veggies). So there were good nutritional reasons and tactical dieting reasons to eat it. And to be honest, after about the third or fourth spoonful, I truly began to enjoy the simple, stripped down nutty flavor of the goopy glob. It felt good to be able to enjoy something that, prior to today, would only be mentioned by me with an upturned nose and/or a full body shudder.

But here's the really important part. I ate my oatmeal because it was important to me for me to redefine my relationship with food. Prior to recently, I ate for three reasons. What I ate tasted good. What I ate made me feel good (or so I thought). What I ate made me less hungry (again, or so I thought). Every time I took a bite of fried chicken, or hot homemade biscuits, or meat loaf, I was magically transported back to my own mother's kitchen where she would lovingly dish out the stuff, encouraging me to "ENJOY!" And fatty, salty deli meats... every bite of a piled high pastrami sandwich (on rye with mustard... is there any other way?) transported me back to some distant and happy family get together in the 1970's when I was a young child. I came to realize that my enjoyment of most of the rich or fatty or sugary or salty things that I enjoy eating are NOT a result of the immediate biochemical processes and physical sensations that they cause. Truth be known, most of the time that I eat many of the foods that got me into weight trouble in the first place, it causes more physical discomforts than satisfaction. But until recently, that was never enough for me to persuade myself to give them up. So what has changed?

In the past few weeks of my 40+ day MFP journey, I have tried to disengage the "foods I (literally) grew to love" from their emotional and psychological linkages and (and this is the important part) BEGIN TO eat healthier choices FROM TIME TO TIME simply because they are healthier for me. In other words, I am working to stop treating food as love, food as nurturing, food as comfort, food as friend, and recognize that, for the overwhelming part, FOOD IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUEL. And the more nutrient dense, low bad fat, high good fat, high protein, complex carb foods that I include in my diet, the better my mileage will be, so to speak.

So this morning, when *I* made myself eat my oatmeal, it was out of the recognition that *I* have the POWER to control and decide what I put in my mouth and body-- not some long distant emotional or psychological linkage to "the good old days" that I had created over the past five decades. Sometimes, that will be small portions of ridiculously unhealthy foods simply because I enjoy them (bacon, chocolate, great hamburgers, ice cream, etc.). MORE of the time, it will be foods that I have traditionally shunned because I perceived that their flavor, or the subconscious psychological or emotional payoff to eating them, was not high enough to warrant their consumption. And here's the best part of all. By "forcing myself" to "eat my oatmeal," with NO sugar, NO salt, NO chocolate chips, NO maple syrup or anything else, I actually learned to enjoy the simple flavor that it brought to my morning.

I am sorry I didn't pay more attention to this afternoon's football game. However, by learning what I finally did, I may, just may, have found the key to unlock this fat suit that I stuffed myself into over the past few decades. I can't wait for the REAL me to come out and visit with y'all over the coming months and years.

Scott R. in Houston, Tx.

Personally I see food as both something pleasurable and fuel - fulfilling a human desire for sensory pleasure as well as serving a functional purpose...So for me, controlling eating is more about reducing portions, and refraining from over-indulging in salty snacks.