Weight Loss Saboteurs

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Milton66
Milton66 Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
Do you have a friend or family member who does any of the following
• Tries to make you eat junk food along with them.
• Offers you food even when you say you’re not hungry.
• Laughs at the idea of physical exercise and wonders why anyone would want to do it
• Laughs at you for trying
• Makes negative comments, such as: "Another diet, really ok!" or "You realise you’ve been down this road before” or You won’t make it no one does." Or similar type comments

If you do then you, my friend, have a saboteur. This person feels if you improve they’ll be left behind, or they’ll now look bad next to you and so subtly (or not) they try to undermine your efforts so that they are not alone. It is important you point out to this person the effect it has on you when they are negative. Let them know it is very important to you to improve and you need all the support you can get and point out the things they do that undermine you. Let them know you love them and respect their choices and they need to do the same for you. If someone truly loves and respects you they will listen and support you. If they don’t then maybe you need to get away from them until you have built enough strength that their efforts don’t matter. Lastly never forget the 3 P’s of lasting change!
Good journey!

Replies

  • Tzippy7
    Tzippy7 Posts: 344 Member
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    this is 2 of my housemates ! Everytime i come home they are all "look what i baked you/bought for you" even after i have said repeatedly that i want to get and make my own food and not share theirs.
  • crazycakez
    crazycakez Posts: 24
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    My husband was like this. He would bring home food from work (he works in a restaurant) or run by Krispy Kreme and bring us both home doughnuts and other treats. It was really hard, but I just didn't eat them. I would thank him and say, "Maybe I'll have this later, I'm not hungry right now." And then it would sit until either he ate it or I threw it out.

    He finally stopped bringing stuff like that home for me, and now he's even cut back on bringing junk food in for himself and has started to ask me to get healthier stuff from the grocery store for him.
  • tony2009
    tony2009 Posts: 201 Member
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    My roommate and long time friend. Now I'm 6'2" and 180lbs and just completed an obstacle run in 13th place. My family is bad about it too.

    I don't care, I just let it roll off now and just look at myself in the mirror and remind myself how I go to this place.
  • FormerSuperHero
    FormerSuperHero Posts: 70 Member
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    I self sabotage with alcohol, but then I get crazy guilt about it, I am thankful that I have dragged my good friends and my partner onto mfp. we are all working together
  • Lu_88
    Lu_88 Posts: 36 Member
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    I have a friend that when i talked about the bran flakes i was going to have for breakfast she text back "mmm sausages". But tbh it just made me think, that's why you will always be fat.
  • helenwilliams78
    helenwilliams78 Posts: 46 Member
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    My ex was a bit like that. He'd ask me round and offer to cook dinner then say he was still in the pub so join him there. After drinking large glass of wine (he refused to buy me a small!), I'd ask what's for dinner. "oh, I haven't had time to get to the shops. Let's have a takeaway - my treat!". This happened so often I started to bring my own food with me.

    This has nothing to do with why we broke up but it's so much easier now I'm not with him! :smile:
  • KrissyKris10
    KrissyKris10 Posts: 68 Member
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    My husband was like this. He would bring home food from work (he works in a restaurant) or run by Krispy Kreme and bring us both home doughnuts and other treats. It was really hard, but I just didn't eat them. I would thank him and say, "Maybe I'll have this later, I'm not hungry right now." And then it would sit until either he ate it or I threw it out.

    He finally stopped bringing stuff like that home for me, and now he's even cut back on bringing junk food in for himself and has started to ask me to get healthier stuff from the grocery store for him.

    ^^me too. now that he sees that i've lose the weight, he is more inclined to do it with me. sort of.

    I'm curious as to what the 3p's are????
  • melduf
    melduf Posts: 468 Member
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    I live with my in-laws (multi-generation household). We all should be more careful about our weigh, but mostly, it's just my mother-in-law and me that are proactive about it. The thing is, she keeps making unhealty food for everyone while she eats her alfalfa salad. How does that help her and any of us??
  • 1carahmeldiva
    1carahmeldiva Posts: 31
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    Sadly, it is my mom. I know she loves me, but she doesn't understand the changes I am making for myself and my sons. She laughs at my efforts, picks at me for eating healthy and keeps so much junk at her house. I've finally had to decrease the amount of time that I spend with her. Hopefully she will get "it" soon.
  • kelly101386
    kelly101386 Posts: 389 Member
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    My husband picks at what I eat constantly, he is a big meat fan, like he HAS to have meat with every single meal and I can barely stomach yet I get criticized for choosing to eat differently so then I force myself to have the same meal.
  • kelly101386
    kelly101386 Posts: 389 Member
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    My husband picks at what I eat constantly, he is a big meat fan, like he HAS to have meat with every single meal and I can barely stomach yet I get criticized for choosing to eat differently.
  • Milton66
    Milton66 Posts: 4 Member
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    Research has shown Alcohol reduces your ability to cut fat and weight by a 3rd over a 24 hour period. So it’s not just the extra calories you absorb on the day that sabotage your weight losing abilities. By drinking 3-4 times a week virtually all your weight loss efforts are totally wasted, so remember nothing wrong with a couple of wines on the weekend but long term it is another weight loss saboteur!
  • Milton66
    Milton66 Posts: 4 Member
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    I am referring to the 3 P's of lasting change.
    Patience
    Persistence
    Practise

    If you want to succeed at anything in life, whatever it is, apply the 3 P's always :)
  • Lindylaloo
    Lindylaloo Posts: 18 Member
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    My husband did that initially. Now I think he can see a difference and wants me to keep going!
  • violetcharms
    violetcharms Posts: 158 Member
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    I don't really have a saboteur, that meets your definition, but I do have my bf's mom.. who visits us twice a month, and always cooks huge batches of oily, delicious food.

    Although she knows I'm on a healthy diet, she always cooks my share, and it's quite difficult to avoid eating her food EVERY time she comes down.

    So I try to eat the healthier foods and the rest of the times, I just have a few bites of whatever she has cooked, and snack later when she isn't paying attention.

    =)
  • sandygettingfit
    sandygettingfit Posts: 69 Member
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    My husband is a saboteur! He gets home 3 hours before I do and picks up food 2-3 times a week. Never healthy foods. Today I'm irritated because he bought KFC chicken strips (a bucket of them) and made Mac 'n cheese as a side. Then he got upset with me because I didn't want any. There are plenty of healthy items in the fridge.

    He likes for me to hang out at the bar with him for 3-4 hours on Sunday while he watches football. I feel bad because he doesn't have friends to join him so I go. He refuses to join me in any of the activities I enjoy although his cholesterol is high and he's got high blood pressure.

    Had to vent, I'm irked!

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