Is it wrong?

courtney_love2001
courtney_love2001 Posts: 1,468 Member
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
Is it wrong to encourage someone at the gym? I was running around the track today and there was a girl, really obese, who was struggling to run around the track. She was panting and sweating, barely shuffling her feet. As I ran by each time, I thought, that was me! And I wanted to tell her, "get it girl!" But....I didn't. I didn't know how she would take it, if she would be offended. Do you guys think it's ok to rally someone on at the gym? I don't want to seem pretentious...and I probably won't ever tell anyone "good job" at the gym, but I was just pondering...

Replies

  • mamagettinfit
    mamagettinfit Posts: 24 Member
    I am curious too . . .
  • HorseFly
    HorseFly Posts: 9 Member
    I don't go to a gym, but if I'm at the park running, I definitely appreciate any sincere encouragement. Even a nod or smile is refreshing.

    You will probably find, as with most things, some people will really appreciate it and others will flash you a dirty look.
  • youngs
    youngs Posts: 250 Member
    I am a very obese and belive me if I was at the gym and you seen me..I would be trilled to have some one to encourage me and let me know that I am doing a good job if you thought so..but I would also say that when you seen the person was done in the gym to talk to them and let them know what a challange you have been through to get to where you are today.. I belive that any encouragment is good and when it comes to a obese person I belive we need any and all the support that anyone has to offer..or we seem to fall of the wagon and go back to our old habbits..(belive me I have done this several time)..Hope this helps ya.
  • mlove1307
    mlove1307 Posts: 151
    I was that fat girl and I would have LOVED a sincere word of encouragement, even a knowing smile. It would have been such a sigh of relief to know I wasn't being judged for once! That I was being acknowledged as a real person with real feelings, not a robot in a fat suit.

    So I DO make sure to smile at people, tell them to keep going and that they're doing great. :]

    Skinny, fat, in between... we're all changing our lives and when I see someone with the strength to get out there and do something, I make sure to let them know I notice.

    They always smile back.
  • iRun4wine
    iRun4wine Posts: 5,126
    I don't go to a gym, but if I'm at the park running, I definitely appreciate any sincere encouragement. Even a nod or smile is refreshing.

    You will probably find, as with most things, some people will really appreciate it and others will flash you a dirty look.

    100% agreed! :bigsmile:
  • UnderCoverShyGirl
    UnderCoverShyGirl Posts: 254 Member
    I love that you asked the question! I'm very obese myself and just starting this journey again. I don't brave the gym yet, and I dread the thought of being the fat, sweaty, heavy breathing chick amongst all the fit people (or people more fit than I am that is). The thought just embarrasses the heck out of me even though mentally i know that it doesn't matter, that i'm not trying to impress anyone, that at least i would be doing something about "it"....

    Technically i'm not gym shy at all, i used to work out regularly in my younger years, so it's not that i'm just afraid to try it, but i can honestly say there's a huge difference in how friendly people are and the way you are looked at when you are fit vs. fat. If people would look at me with respect for getting healthy and give me support, i would so be there now!!

    I really can't imagine anyone being mad if you offered encouragement with a "way to go". If more people would recognize that it's a great thing for overweight people to be crowding the gyms and were supportive since we're all working towards better health, there'd probably be a lot less sedentary people around!
  • i currently am the heavy girl at the gym...... i gotta tell you i don't mind if someone encourages me...... the funny thing is when i started this thing 2 months and 7 inches ago NO one even gave me a second look (which i don't mind because working out is not pretty lol) but now i have random people talking to me about random things..... and it makes me more comfortable now because i don't feel like i am being judgeed....... anyway just my 2 cents


    Lily
  • waguchan
    waguchan Posts: 450 Member
    Well, I've been complimented at the gym before. The person giving me the complement seemed to think that I was new to exercise. I just said thank you. But the personal trainer I was working out with was appalled because she knew how far I had already come. She said that many of her clients are insulted when people complement them and tell them to keep up the great work. I do think it's a bit condescending. And you probably wouldn't complement someone in a healthier weight range the same way. My personal trainer told me that she has actually taken some people aside to ask them to stop complimenting her clients because it is upsetting to some people who have already lost a great deal of weight.
  • courtney_love2001
    courtney_love2001 Posts: 1,468 Member
    I think I will take the approach of giving a nod or smile instead of actually saying something. I suppose if I saw that person in the locker room, I might be more inclined to say something, but I dunno. I'm not really a forward person. Thanks for all the comments guys!
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
    I think I will take the approach of giving a nod or smile instead of actually saying something. I suppose if I saw that person in the locker room, I might be more inclined to say something, but I dunno. I'm not really a forward person. Thanks for all the comments guys!

    I don't think it's being forward, but if I think the timing is important for what you say. If others here the convo etc..

    I think alot of people always welcome "Hey I've seen you doing great the last little while or your doing a great job"
    A confidence booster, and realizing that someone has noticed is a great feeling.
  • jmdolan
    jmdolan Posts: 128
    Im glad you asked the question because there is a girl at my gym. Shes heavy... i dont know if i would necessarily say shes obese.. but maybe. Anyways she is at the gym like EVERY day and i am SO impressed by her but I never say anything because I dont want her to be offended... I go to the gym often but some days i find my self not pushing as hard as I should and I just dont know how to tell her that i wish I had her dedication.
  • TropicalKitty
    TropicalKitty Posts: 2,298 Member
    There's definitely a fine line here. If someone were to say something to me, I'd be upset. I'm very selfconscious and would automatically feel like I was standing out and obviously struggling. I think the point earlier about how people wouldn't necessarily comment to someone more svelte is a big one. Unless you know the person, I'd stick to a smile. :)
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
    I always liked to keep to myself when exercise, and still do.

    I love to workout with my girlfriend though whenever I get the chance, but for strangers I wouldn't wanna hear anything from them....nothing personal.
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