REALLY hacked off!!

smilesalot1969
smilesalot1969 Posts: 392
in Motivation and Support
So there's this guy at my gym that seems to have become my personal stalker. Despite the fact i never take off my ipod and mostly keep my head down because i like to focus he takes no notice of this. He went from being very obvious and making sure i had no choice but to see him and then saying hello to actually following me. He will position himself at the front left of my treadmill so that i cant avoid him and talk until manners force me to remove my headphones and answer him. He even remarked yesterday that his forcing me to talk while power walking was leaving me seriously out of breath. When i replied actually yes he laughed and carried on! I turn around ten mins later and he's doing stretches right behind my treadmill whilst staring at my butt.
So today he jumps on the treadmill next to me and waves almost in my face then says oh its Amanda right? (so he's clearly asked someone my name)then tells me his name and he then starts chatting non stop forcing me AGAIN to remove my headphones( ANNOYED MUCH) i tell him plainly at this point i have a partner and he looks disappointed before he asks if its serious and i say yes. Anyway he goes quiet and i move on to the weights and am happily doing ab crunches on the static weights when he appears, makes me jump and i lose my grip on the handle which i have held behind my neck causing one hand to slip off and my other arm is almost yanked out of its socket as 80lbs slams back down. I took off my head phones and snapped 'WHAT!!' at him and he laughs and says oh i was watching you and wondering if thats how you bow to your boyfriend!! Well i now have a pulled neck and shoulder muscle and im fuming!!!:grumble: :explode:

Replies

  • trixiemou
    trixiemou Posts: 554 Member
    If he is becoming a nuisance you could just ask politely that he backs off, then warn him if he doesnt you will report him. In fact if the comments have started I would be tempted to report him any way.
  • smilesalot1969
    smilesalot1969 Posts: 392
    Oh yeah he's a nuisance im there to work my *kitten* off and not join a coffee morning :angry: i guess i'm like most people i go to work out and don't need someone distracting me. And now im injured and couldn't do my weights today (shoulders and arms) My partner says i should just tell him to FK off but im not that kind of person
  • Bufite
    Bufite Posts: 55 Member
    It's harassment. You should report him, if only because you don't, when he gets the message with you he will go and do it to someone else. In the meantime, I would politely say that you have come here to work out, it's your time and you don't really want to talk to anyone. And tell him that you think his behaviour is inappropriate. You might be able to embarrass him into stopping!
  • suejonestx
    suejonestx Posts: 256 Member
    Some people just don't get clues easily but do understand clearly stated requests. If you haven't already, I would clearly state to him that you are not comfortable with him talking to you and you would like him to please leave you alone from now on. If he doesn't get it after that, then talk to the gym management staff.
  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
    Some people just don't get clues easily but do understand clearly stated requests. If you haven't already, I would clearly state to him that you are not comfortable with him talking to you and you would like him to please leave you alone from now on. If he doesn't get it after that, then talk to the gym management staff.

    ^^ This
  • vinstevel
    vinstevel Posts: 63
    I would do one or both of two things. Talk to the manager at the gym about it explaining that you don't feel safe etc. Second bring a friend or partner to the gym at least a few times. He will be less likely to approach you if he is outnumbered regardless of the stature of the 2 of you.
  • vinstevel
    vinstevel Posts: 63
    If you live close to me, I would be happy to come and make it clear that he should leave you alone.
  • Jxnsmma
    Jxnsmma Posts: 919 Member
    Tell him your partner is a woman. End of story...
  • smilesalot1969
    smilesalot1969 Posts: 392
    Tell him your partner is a woman. End of story...

    Love this!!! thanks guys i think im more hacked off that i'm injured than anything. I missed a whole training day today (thankfully its legs tomorrow) but i really do make it clear im not there to chat surely the ipod firmly in ears should give him the hint. I'm not antisocial im happy to chat to anyone male or female AFTER i'm done but three times now i've left before i've done my whole programme because of him.
  • smilesalot1969
    smilesalot1969 Posts: 392
    If you live close to me, I would be happy to come and make it clear that he should leave you alone.

    Thankyou :bigsmile: its nice to know there are some decent guys around
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    I'd totally tell him to eff off. But then, I've been doing that my whole adult life. And definitely tell management. You deserve to have reasonable enjoyment of your membership. Maybe others have complained too. Eventually they'll make him leave permanently if he doesn't stop. If you work out at night, get someone to walk you out. He's just creepy.
  • philco41
    philco41 Posts: 68 Member
    The staff at most gyms is used to dealing with these situations. Don't be afraid to ask them for help.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
    He's crossed a line, IMO. Tell management about him and if he doesn't back off, get a restraining order. He's off is rocker to be so very obvious...and 'obvious' isn't even the word I'm looking for since it's much more than that.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    to the bold go the spoils of war

    can't blame him for trying, and it's not like he's secretly off to the side watching you, he at least lets you know he has an interest in you.

    that said, tell him to go away, and if it doesn't work, let the work staff know so they can help address the situation.
  • CapsFan17
    CapsFan17 Posts: 198
    Stop being nice, use you're pissed off anger and just unload on him. Be honest and don't try to be nice. I know it sounds mean but some times that the only option. Good Luck!
  • BioShocked89
    BioShocked89 Posts: 330 Member
    So, he scares up, you get hurt and he laughs? That sounds a little more than weird...Report the man.
  • jensweighingin
    jensweighingin Posts: 168 Member
    I've decided that one day my pants will fall off or something and some nice person will be trying to tell me, but I'll just keep on going because I won't take my ipod off and patently ignore everyone who's standing in front of me. I'm not there to speak to them, I'm there to get a work out on. That being said, tell the manager and ignore all his overtures. This is harassment!
  • richx83
    richx83 Posts: 334 Member
    Yeah I would report that, interfering with a heavy weight session is just not on and can do serious injury. Next time accidently drop the weight on his foot :laugh:
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Report him and ignore him. Don't give him the satisfaction of your response even if he is being a total creepster. Some guys will be happy with any attention good or bad - since you're responding he's getting what he wants. What a jerk!
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    Wow. Yeah I'd report him. You got injured because of him. Now not only is he a nuisance, he's a liability.
  • LittleBallofFurr
    LittleBallofFurr Posts: 242 Member
    It's harassment. You should report him, if only because you don't, when he gets the message with you he will go and do it to someone else. In the meantime, I would politely say that you have come here to work out, it's your time and you don't really want to talk to anyone. And tell him that you think his behaviour is inappropriate. You might be able to embarrass him into stopping!




    I agree! especially if he is staring at your behind...creepy
  • 1a1a
    1a1a Posts: 761 Member
    oh i was watching you and wondering if thats how you bow to your boyfriend!!

    Creeper! That kind of dialogue is completely inappropriate.

    Coincidence I just finished reading this blog and it's lengthy comment section. Awkward or self entitled, it's not job to train him how to act in a gym, Use Your Words and if that fails, report!

    Here's the blog http://captainawkward.com/2012/08/07/322-323-my-friend-group-has-a-case-of-the-creepy-dude-how-do-we-clear-that-up/
  • GeekyGoddess
    GeekyGoddess Posts: 119
    Stand in front of the mirror today and work on your stink eye. Seriously...you have to LOOK unapproachable if don't want to be approached. It goes like this: -.-

    Thankfully I don't have this problem at the gym, so not much advice to give. Just wanted to say...what a douchenoodle. Maybe get a taser? I bet if you did and you used it on him *just once* he'd leave you alone ;)
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    Get this workout shirt and when he walks up to you, point out the message and say "This is directed at you"! :laugh:

    http://www.flirtydivatees.com/im-not-here-for-conversation.html

    But really, I would tell the gym staff and let them handle it. Hopefully he'll leave you alone after this last incident.. but if not, don't hesitate to let him and the staff know you don't like it.
  • smilesalot1969
    smilesalot1969 Posts: 392
    Get this workout shirt and when he walks up to you, point out the message and say "This is directed at you"! :laugh:

    http://www.flirtydivatees.com/im-not-here-for-conversation.html

    But really, I would tell the gym staff and let them handle it. Hopefully he'll leave you alone after this last incident.. but if not, don't hesitate to let him and the staff know you don't like it.

    OMG i LOVE this!! i WANT one!! you guy are all awesome i should take you all to the gym with me!! I know i shouldn't complain cos i know i'd be pretty fed up if nobody looked at me ever but this guy is CREEPY!! and WEIRD!! not a good combo :frown:
  • MagonElizabeth
    MagonElizabeth Posts: 42
    ew.
    tell the staff what a *kitten* he is being!
  • vinstevel
    vinstevel Posts: 63
    An alternative is start a new gym and do what I do (but pretending). Being deaf, people try to talk to me all the time. Even when I realize that someone is talking to me at the gym, I don't acknowledge it. People quickly stop trying and then I can be left to my workout. Exercise is a very personal time for me. I don't want gym buddies. I don't want organized classes. I use that time to recenter myself and cleanse myself. One of the greatest aspects of not being able to hear. Try it sometime lol
  • jeolds
    jeolds Posts: 104 Member
    Tell him your partner is a woman. End of story...

    Telling him that might get him to leave her alone, but what about the next woman he decides he is interested in. Even worse, what if he thinks that is interesting and tries harder.

    IMHO I think the first suggestion is the best and be firm in every stage of it. Ask him to quit following you around the gym politely once. If he still does it, then demand (without raising your voice or displaying anger) that he does or he will be reported for harassment. If he still does, report him without hesitation.

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