Hi I am new and I am struggling BIG TIME

running_mum
running_mum Posts: 59 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi lovely people

I am new here, this is my first post. And I need all the support/ideas I could get!

I am a 31 year old mother of three who works full time. Needless to say life is BUSY! When I was 26 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had surgery to remove my thyroid, I have to take medication for the rest of my life. At my heaviest I weighed 235lbs. I am now 198lbs but to be honest I haven't really done anything to get here. I was always overweight and after surgery I think my body was trying to adjust itself to the 'new normal' and it took a while to get my weight down again. So now I am hovering around 195-198

Anyways

I have all the knowledge of what I should do, I know I need to eat less and move more - but to ne honest thats a lot easier said than done.

For me, it's a combination of both, as I struggle with eating and exercising. I really try hard to have more 'good days' than bad ones but I ALWAYS lose the battle. I always feel like I NEED something sweet (I have an extreme sweet tooth), when I am about to eat it, an internal battle of good and evil start: I can hear myself trying to talk to myself and make me stop but at the same time, I don't give a damn about what I am trying to achieve and all my goals/hard work up til then. It's like my fat personality just takes over and my skinny one is billied and silenced.

Exercising does not happen at all. I do work full time and after work is crazy - dinner, dishes, laundry, kids, preparation for the next day. By the end of it all I am tired and have no energy to move an inch!

But then I come here and I am really encouraged by other people's results, I want that for myself so bad. I just don't know how to do it. I don't know how to stop this self destructive cycle I find myself in - even though I KNOW what I should be doing.

Anyone ever feel like that? What did you do to overcome yourself?

Any help is much appreciated! :)

PS. How do I get one of those ticker thingys?

Replies

  • Xorknup84
    Xorknup84 Posts: 17 Member
    First thing to do, if you KNOW you have a sweet tooth, don't expect to go cold turkey. Work your sweets into your daily calories. Then eat less and less until you don't feel you need them anymore. Occasionally reward yourself with the things you like.

    Also, house work can count as a work out. Its all in how vigorous it it!

    Lastly, i think you can get a ticker by clicking on someone else's...not too sure about this one. Its been a while!
  • Xorknup84
    Xorknup84 Posts: 17 Member
    Just kidding! Its under the Tools tab :)
  • amandabarbercheckking
    amandabarbercheckking Posts: 1 Member
    hi i am on my second round with this and am having trouble getting motivated too. i know the iggest thing for me was getting my family involved the first time--- telling my seven year old that food was an army (chicken is a tank beans are grunts and candy is the enemy lol) going on family walks etc but then i started dating my boyfriend which involved eating out etc now we live together and i need to get back on track! only now i have to do it on my own because e works swing shifts and eats at weird times and can't always be available to help make me accountable to exercise! i guess the best thing would be to get some friends on here who are invested in your success oh, and i used to list my goals ( exercise more eat better) and wake up with the intent to form one new habit that day that way i didn't have to change it all overnight and could find what worked for me (veggie snacks so i could hsve a mug of ice cream at night!)
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    Separate your calories. Devote 80% of what you consume in a day to meeting nutritional needs - lean meats, vegetables, healthy fats, everything you eat because you know it's good for you. The other 20% belongs to your sweet tooth to do what it pleases with. On a 1400 calorie diet, that's 280 calories. That's a huge bowl of frozen yogurt, 3 store-bought cookies, a candy bar, 18 gummy frogs, two Cokes... you get the idea. Use it over the course of the day to keep the cookie monster at bay, or save it for bigger snack attacks if you're not really craving sweets on the day of. Over the course of time, you can aim to get it down to 90% healthy/10% junk, or even more if you decide that's what you want.

    I know it's not the healthiest thing you can do, but in my opinion accounting for it is better than beating yourself up over it.
  • VogtAndrea
    VogtAndrea Posts: 236
    Check out the exercise database and log the exercise that's closest to your daily activities. Plan your meals, plan some snacks in too. Load up on the good veggies! And take the kids for walks with you.
    My niece had the same thing happen, has 3 kids, a full time job, an active lifestyle and in order to get her weight where she wanted it to be, she started cooking alot of vegan meals. It took them a while to get her medication to the right level but it's all where it should be. I should also say that she's an amazing cook too and really plans her main meals ahead.
  • petithamu
    petithamu Posts: 582 Member
    I hate to tell you this...you just have to do it. It takes soooooo much self motivation and self discipline, more so than just looking at others' photos as inspirations. I've lost weight and gained weight and lost weight and gained weight more times than I can count and always because I keep slipping back into the vicious cycle of 'I can always do it later' or 'oh one more piece of cake wouldn't hurt' then 3 pieces later I'm self hating...

    I'm a new mom and I'm just now learning how to juggle exercising while looking after a baby. It takes so much self convincing on a daily basis to do my work out. I'm trying to eat the best I can but I don't go cold turkey because otherwise I'll just end up in a binge fest. I think the key for you is moderation and I know, easier said than done but by eating one piece of chocolate is better than not eating any and then you end up with a whole bag of M&Ms in your hand and wondering how did you end up staring the bottom of the bag...(speaking from experience...)

    It is hard, it's suppose to be hard but it sucks so much that it's hard. I tell myself out loud everyday that I have to exercise at least 30 minutes a day. I have a chalkboard in the kitchen that has my goal written on it with a countdown to completion. I have a note on my fridge that tells me what my body fat % is....it's all these little things I have to do to constantly remind myself that I have to do this.

    If you're cramped for time, check out Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. She has a strong following here. That kickstarted my exercise routine as well and I got pretty solid results both times around. It's only 30 minutes, at most, 33 minutes so I always tell myself, 30 minutes, that's an episode of Friends...I can do 30 minutes...

    Good luck, you can do it if you want it bad enough and you really really have to want it bad enough...
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    On the exercise front, one thing I find handy is an iPhone app called All-In Yoga. I set up brief programs of my own, but it also has preset ones. I can do a ten-minute program while I watch TV or wait for the kitchen timer to go off, whatever. I also have a bedtime program I sometimes do. This helps me to at least have SOME kind of exercise on days when I can't fit in anything else.

    Depending on the age of your kids, could one of them fix supper occasionally to give you time to get some kind of exercise? Can you walk somewhere with the kids in the evening?

    I'm lucky to live in an apartment near enough to some shops that I can walk to the grocery store instead of driving. It takes me less than a half hour to walk there and back. Is there someplace near you that you could walk to instead of driving? I like walking to the store because I feel like I am getting somewhere and getting errands run while also getting some exercise.

    Whatever you don't, don't stop trying! Any little bit of progress you manage to make is good.
  • MellifluousGirl
    MellifluousGirl Posts: 20 Member
    I, too, have a sweet tooth. It helps to drink a LOT of water & eat a TON of fruits & veggies throughout the day, sweet potatoes, spinach, apples, carrots, etc. Unsweetened tea has zero calories. Find different recipes to try & see what you like. Smoothies are a great way to get spinach nutrients if you don't love it. One recipe that you may like, if you like peanut butter is this: 1 frozen banana, handful of raw spinach, Tbsp of peanut butter, and almond milk. It tastes like a peanut-butter-cup. You can add vanilla yogurt or protein powder, but I never do. It will be an awful green color, but it is so yummy. I also treat myself to dark chocolate kisses. At 20 calories each, they help satisfy the sweet tooth without going to the extreme. Tonight, my kids were having ice cream. Rather than suffering or caving, I had 1/2 a cup (a serving size). It allowed me to enjoy without exceeding my limit. Hope this helps. Best of luck!
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    Pick ONE thing and focus on changing it. Make it your priority... every day. So, say start with food. Cut down the calories maybe a little at a time, or cut out trigger foods maybe. Whatever is going to work for you until you get to your ideal amount... the sweet spot should be eating 200-500 calories less than you burn. Fat2Fit BMR calculator is a good place to start. Just Google it. Also: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    Then.. once you've got food under control... focus on exercise. Start with something small: Walking 15 min every day. Then increase the time. Or, add something fun like dance, biking, etc.

    Be sure to drink plenty of water & get plenty of rest and don't overdo caffeine or sugar... that helps me anyway :)
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    Sorry, but whilst I definitely understand your situation I do not accept a lack of time as an excuse not to exercise.

    I work full time (plus some more), my wife works 9 days a fortnight, we have two kids under 5 and a house to look after etc. It is about setting your priorities and MAKING the time. Warning: the next part may get a little preachy ;)

    I know a few people who wake up at 5am to get their run in while the rest of the family is sleeping, for the past year I have been at the gym by 6am to get my workout in and back home in time to get the kids dressed and fed. Right now I am working out in the evenings, is it hard some days? Absolutely! But am I worth the effort, do my children deserve a dad who is a role model and who is going to be around for a long time? Damn f**n right they do! So I MAKE TIME.

    Everyone who has ever had a goal has faced challenges, come up against things that ranged from mild inconveniences to seemingly impossible obstacles. Do you know what separates those who achieve from those who do not? Of course you do. Perseverance, determination, and a genuine desire to succeed.

    How do you set yourself up to succeed? You keep at a set routine until it just becomes a set part of your life and you don't even give it a second thought. You do it until you feel bad for missing a session. Pick exercise(s) you enjoy and stick with it. That's the key.

    As for the snacking thing, don't worry about it at all. Just make sure you leave yourself room at the end of the day to fit in those extra calories and have somewhat sensible options on hand to avoid binging. Individually wrapped squares of dark chocolate are a great example.

    You can do this, EVERYONE can do this. It's just a question of how much you really want it - you might want to go stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself that question!
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    You're right - this isn't easy.
    Knowing what to do IS easy - make better food choices and fit in some exercise. It really is as simple as that.

    The hard part comes when you realise that you have to find a way to do this for the rest of your life. I wish I had the answer as to how to do this - but all I can suggest is that you take one day at a time and one meal at a time.

    Logging my food really does help for me - I usually plan my meals ahead of time so I have an idea of how my day is going to stack up. If it looks like I'm under cals I add extras to meals or put in more snacks. If I'm looking on the high side, I reduce the portion sizes or have one less snack. This still doesn't mean that I do this every day - but I've come to the conclusion that if I can make better food choices most days - that's a victory!

    Be kind to yourself. Don't deny yourself everything you enjoy, that's just going to make you feel like a failure the first time you have a cupcake at a birthday party. That is going to happen and there is nothing wrong with that.

    Set a realistic goal (i.e.. DON'T choose "lose 2 pounds a week" just because it's there.)
    Pick a smaller goal and don't focus purely on the scale for a feeling of success.
    Choose baby steps like - healthy breakfast every day. 20 mins exercise every day. Run around outside with the babies instead of watching them play for an extra 10 mins each day.

    These small things really do add up to long term changes.

    Good luck!
  • rosecando
    rosecando Posts: 33 Member
    ^^^^ THIS ^^^^^
    good advice:smile:
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
    It's not about deprivation. For this to really work, it's about a lifestyle change to be fitter, healthier and happier with yourself. The more you tell yourself something is "forbidden fruit" (or chocolate or...) the more you are thinking about it and probably wanting it. So have some. The key is some. Have only as much as you are actually hungry for and enjoying. When the bites are less enjoyable, stop. Distraction is also great. Half the time you'll forget that you wanted to eat something. :wink:

    Yes, you need to change a bunch of habits, and you probably do know many of the things to do. But there is alot of misinformation and new information all the time. You'll also need to do some trial and error to see which of the many pieces of advice you've seen work for you. Nothing will work in just a week or two, so it will take time. And even something that doesn't work for you is useful if you learn more about what works for you and why.
    You CAN do it.

    if cravings are an issue for you, I've collected some suggestions in a blog entry. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin_Bin/view/cravings-282817 That entry also has links to hundreds of snacks under 100 calories. Don't try them all in one day, but a little bit of something you like can make it easier for some people to not feel deprived or go on binges. If you find it useful, please give it an "up" vote.

    Congratulations on the weight you already lost and best wishes!
  • justforme42
    justforme42 Posts: 8 Member
    HANG IN THERE! I FEEL THE SAME WAY SOMETIMES. I HAVE TWO KIDS! WORK FULL TIME AND EXERCISE IN THE MORNING. I get up earlier and jump on the treadmill, or do a full body workout with weights. When I slip and don't get in the exercise....i start to feel horrible. I then just start over. i stopped beating up myself for not losing weight and just keep up the physical activity when i can. Logging in my food and exercise helps keep me focused. By the time my kids get up for the day i am sweating and done. Good luck to you.

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