Need Help Falling for a Navy Man

ZenAmante
ZenAmante Posts: 92 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've started falling for this amazing man, jonathan. He is in the navy and is currently deployed. He wont be back for a few more months. Truth is I've never meet him in person. we talk constantly every way we can. I feel for him things i personally never have for anyone and it worries me when i dont hear from him. So my question is can you tell me how you handled deployments?

Replies

  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    Wow. That whole post was one long sentence, and I couldn't even follow what you were saying.
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    ","
    "!"

    ^^They are there for a reason. Please use them.
  • HeatherYevette
    HeatherYevette Posts: 56 Member
    I'm a Navy Wife and the truth is, you handle deployments just like you handle any other problem. One day at a time. You're lucky, you've met him during one and are already getting the 'first deployment' over with! :)
  • cohophysh
    cohophysh Posts: 288
    um, you have never met this person? Then how do you know he is who he says he is?
  • domsmoms
    domsmoms Posts: 174 Member
    LOL... I also read the subject as you need help TO fall for him. But it sounds like you are falling for him and need help with the deployment issue. To which I have no advice, sorry. But follow your heart, good luck!
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
    That is fine, sweetie. We are not all overly critical.
    I wish I could help. I don't have any advice for you. I would lead with your heart and see where it takes you. Good luck.
  • corieueber
    corieueber Posts: 72 Member
    wow grammar police are out, watch your sentences.


    No idea how to handle deployment (although wouldn't mind sending my hubby away sometimes) but good luck with it, enjoy that butterfly time of a new relationship :)
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
    I understood it just fine. I suppose you deal with it like people deal with any long distance relationship. You can probably google how to do that.
  • SirRunningShorts
    SirRunningShorts Posts: 77 Member
    See I must have read it wrong as well. I thought the OP was asking for help with her long distance relationship... NOT asking for grammar advice. I also missed her request for sniping.

    Anyway, there is Skype, E-mail, motomail (google it), care packages, sending him actual pictures he can look at, maybe "unmentionables" in the mail, facebook. It is really about communication and patience. Enjoy the time you can, and understand there are times he just wont be able to talk. The internet and phones are very undependable overseas. Just because you don't hear from him for a few days does not mean anything is wrong. I hope that answers your actual questions.
  • ZenAmante
    ZenAmante Posts: 92 Member
    I think i fixed it. I have never been good with my grammar or spelling. Whatever she needs to do to make herself feel better is fine. I'm sure she was only trying to help.
  • MzSturdivant
    MzSturdivant Posts: 28 Member
    It never gets better, but it does get easier with time. You'll be alright : )
  • woahitsangie
    woahitsangie Posts: 139 Member
    deployments SUCK.. but we just try and make the best of it. i write him every day, and we skype 2x a day, just keeping the communication always open helps out so much!
  • justjenn1977
    justjenn1977 Posts: 437 Member
    Wow. That whole post was one long sentence, and I couldn't even follow what you were saying.
    "."
    ","
    "!"

    ^^They are there for a reason. Please use them.


    justbecauseicanandliketofrustratepeopleithinkimightjusttypelikethisforthenextfewdays

    ok i cant...


    anyways zen... just learn how to communicate with him... it is easier when you are apart... the hard part will be continuing to communicate effectively when you are together
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I'm in a long distance relationship right now & I understand how tough it is.

    As is for every relationship, long distance or not, the key is good communication, patience, understanding and trust. Without those, I don't think any relationship will last.

    EDIT (To the grammar police): I'm not a native speaker so spare me from all that grammar nazi bulls*** OK. Me entiendes???
  • albhed1039
    albhed1039 Posts: 4
    My husband ( BF at the time)hasn't been deployed, but we were separate for a few months while we were moving here to japan. For our relationship, it made us stronger. the little things slip by in day to day life, and being apart made us focus on communicating more. since we could only communicate through text ( IM, FB ect ) for most of the time, it really helped us be able to put feelings into words.

    also, not stressing over counting days or how much i missed him helped a lot! I started a project\ ( loosing 10 lbs & planning our wedding) that HAD to be done by the time he got home. so when I was thinking about the day he would return I got a sudden rush of oh no I have so much left to do!! it helped me stay so busy.
  • Sanjam73
    Sanjam73 Posts: 1
    I'm sorry I can't help you with how to handle the separation from this man (apart from the obvious free solutions like skype, IM, FB etc), but I have to warn you that this sounds a lot like a romance scam.

    I don't wish to burst your bubble, I can be wrong and he may well be the most wonderful man on the internet, but I urge you to google romance scams and compare Jonathan's story to the stories people are telling on romance scam forums. If he at any point asks you for money, I'm sorry to say that you've fallen for a scam and are not talking to a navy guy.

    I feel like such a douche for putting any doubt into the happy feelings you are developing for this man, but if it can prevent you from falling for a scammer, it's worth it.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I'm sorry I can't help you with how to handle the separation from this man (apart from the obvious free solutions like skype, IM, FB etc), but I have to warn you that this sounds a lot like a romance scam.

    I don't wish to burst your bubble, I can be wrong and he may well be the most wonderful man on the internet, but I urge you to google romance scams and compare Jonathan's story to the stories people are telling on romance scam forums. If he at any point asks you for money, I'm sorry to say that you've fallen for a scam and are not talking to a navy guy.

    I feel like such a douche for putting any doubt into the happy feelings you are developing for this man, but if it can prevent you from falling for a scammer, it's worth it.
    There are a lot of scammers everywhere not just on the internet. To be honest, the majority of scammers that I have encountered are locally which is no surprising since I live in a third world country. On the contrary, not everyone in online relationships are scammers.

    From the way you sound, it looks like you had fallen a victim before but I have to tell you that a bad thing done by some people doesn't speak of the whole virtual population itself. Don't generalize everybody.

    It is all a matter of being wise in your decisions. Of course if someone is asking you for money or sex then be watchful for that.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Wow. That whole post was one long sentence, and I couldn't even follow what you were saying.
    "."
    ","
    "!"

    ^^They are there for a reason. Please use them.



    justbecauseicanandliketofrustratepeopleithinkimightjusttypelikethisforthenextfewdays

    ok i cant...


    anyways zen... just learn how to communicate with him... it is easier when you are apart... the hard part will be continuing to communicate effectively when you are together



    >>>>harder than ya thought isnt it??
  • magnolia_ah
    magnolia_ah Posts: 161 Member
    love will find a way :heart:
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Deployments suck, no two ways about it. My husband was in the MC and did two deployments while we were together. Mostly I put a lot of work into things I needed to do for myself, like working, working out, etc., being busy made them time go by more quickly. I will add that the person who said that in some ways, deployments are the easy part, it is maintaining communication once someone is home that can be even more challenging is completely right. Talking when all you have to do is talk (or email, whatever) is relatively easy, especially early in a relationship when there are relatively few major issues. However, a few years down the line, when you have a lot going on that you have to deal with as a couple, really talking is more difficult.

    That said, I would be very cautious about falling in love with someone you have never met. Not that I think he is going to try to harm you, defraud you, etc., in my experience that is rarely the case. However, what often happens is that it is very difficult to get a sense of what it is like to be around someone in person just by talking to them. Years ago I had an online friend, we talked a lot, for years, got along great. When I met him in person he annoyed the *kitten* out of me. I have a catalog of such stories from various friends, acquaintances, etc., and very few of them have what one would call a happy ending. Even if everyone is trying to be honest about who they are, you don't really get to know what it is like to be with someone until you are actually physically around them, and not just for a weekend visit (although sometimes those are disastrous) but really around them on a regular basis. And I especially would not recommend making any life changes (e.g. moving) in a situation like this.
  • justjenn1977
    justjenn1977 Posts: 437 Member
    justbecauseicanandliketofrustratepeopleithinkimightjusttypelikethisforthenextfewdays

    ok i cant...

    >>>>harder than ya thought isnt it??


    yes... I actually have several friends who accuse me of being the grammar police... but mainly because I use big words... and I get frustrated with them when they misuse there, their, they're... and call them on it... sigh...

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