The Weight Room Rant

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rhymeswithfox
rhymeswithfox Posts: 63 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
The other day I posted a topic on where to start with lifting. I have been doing very light weight dumbbell exercises (using 8lb) and body weight workouts in circuits but I want to see more strength and obvious muscles. I went to the gym today to try out the barbell and see what I could do in order to create a routine. I saw two gentlemen, probably in their 50's, workout out and I asked them how much the bar weighed by itself. They immediately told me I'd better use dumb bells because it's 45 pounds and that would DEFINITELY be too heavy for me. I figure they were saying this because I was female and I also don't have a muscular body type. I said 45 pounds doesn't seem like too much, especially for squatting, although possibly a bit much for an overhead press. They still said I shouldn't do it but when I said I was going to try it once anyway, they gave me a shoulder pad and said, "you don't need to be a hero". By this point I was fairly mad because I know they were doubting me simply because I was female. So I put the shoulder pad on the ground and did an easy 20 reps with the bar. And didn't hurt my neck because I researched how to properly hold to bar without hurting one's self... Did a couple bench presses, deadlifts, and even the over head press.

The reason I'm telling this story is because this was exactly the reason I was intimated to go into the weight room in the first place. And probably the reason many women are. I didn't know exactly where to start because it was new, I knew people would look at me funny, I knew people would think I'm being dangerous, and it almost felt like the first day of middle school all over. But, as a curvy girl who took the risk, I'm glad I did :)
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Replies

  • taintedbutterfly18
    taintedbutterfly18 Posts: 189 Member
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    Don't let anyone get you down! Sometimes in order to grow, we have to get out of our comfort zone. Weights used to scare me too, but now I'm taking a class entirely dedicated to it and am ready to move forward. Show them what you are made of! :)
  • wolfgate
    wolfgate Posts: 321 Member
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    LOL!! Good for you doing the workout anyway and moving past the silliness. I don't know why, but I've seen the same amnesia to having once been a beginner in most activities.

    One that really cracked me up was when I started investigating a strength training system advocated by many on here. Nice thing about it was that it is marketed at those starting out. So I found a message board for people who are using the system, and what was the longest thread? One making fun of people in the gym - many of whom couldn't lift as much or were new to lifting and unsure about what to do. The irony was pretty thick on that one.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    I'd say they were just trying to be helpful. Especially coming from guys - I've generally noticed that guys usually OVERestimate what they can do and girls usually UNDERestimate what they can do. This results in guys hurting themselves or using horrible form to do too much weight. The girls, on the other hand, are afraid of going heavier and thus spend a lifetime lifting 5lb dumbbells. Just a general stereotype or two but pretty common.

    Hell, just starting out, I'd recommend dumbbells to any newcomer too. They're easy to ditch if you use too much weight and can substitute for barbells until the weights get heavy enough (not generally "needed" for a just-starting-out beginner).

    So, don't take it the wrong way.
  • bokodasu
    bokodasu Posts: 629 Member
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    The reason I'm telling this story is because this was exactly the reason I was intimated to go into the weight room in the first place. And probably the reason many women are. I didn't know exactly where to start because it was new, I knew people would look at me funny, I knew people would think I'm being dangerous, and it almost felt like the first day of middle school all over. But, as a curvy girl who took the risk, I'm glad I did :)

    This is great! Even though you got the reaction everyone dreads, you survived! And I'm not saying that sarcastically - I had to give a presentation at work today, and my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't even take a sip of water, because I would have spilled it everywhere. And yet I didn't die either, even though I was pretty sure I was going to when I got up there. Now you'll get more confident each time you go until the next newbie comes in and *you* will be nice & helpful to her, and not condescending and crappy, and the weight room will be a slightly better place. :smile:
  • paijing
    paijing Posts: 184 Member
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    It was scary at first, but now that I've been lifting for a while, I found that I get hit on at least once per week in the gym...and it's always while I'm doing squats or deadlifts. I started out watching youtube videos and now I get told I lift heavy and have nice form! One guy even asked me what I grip I recommended for deadlifts. (I use a mixed grip but I really couldn't say if it's better than other grips or not.)
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
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    Yeah man..they were trying to be helpful, not sexist. You took it the wrong way.
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
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    To be fair, if somebody asked me how much the bar weighed (either gender) I would assume they don't have experience, and would suggest a body bar first, then progressing to the empty bar.
  • jazee11
    jazee11 Posts: 321
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    The other day I posted a topic on where to start with lifting. I have been doing very light weight dumbbell exercises (using 8lb) and body weight workouts in circuits but I want to see more strength and obvious muscles. I went to the gym today to try out the barbell and see what I could do in order to create a routine. I saw two gentlemen, probably in their 50's, workout out and I asked them how much the bar weighed by itself. They immediately told me I'd better use dumb bells because it's 45 pounds and that would DEFINITELY be too heavy for me. I figure they were saying this because I was female and I also don't have a muscular body type. I said 45 pounds doesn't seem like too much, especially for squatting, although possibly a bit much for an overhead press. They still said I shouldn't do it but when I said I was going to try it once anyway, they gave me a shoulder pad and said, "you don't need to be a hero". By this point I was fairly mad because I know they were doubting me simply because I was female. So I put the shoulder pad on the ground and did an easy 20 reps with the bar. And didn't hurt my neck because I researched how to properly hold to bar without hurting one's self... Did a couple bench presses, deadlifts, and even the over head press.

    The reason I'm telling this story is because this was exactly the reason I was intimated to go into the weight room in the first place. And probably the reason many women are. I didn't know exactly where to start because it was new, I knew people would look at me funny, I knew people would think I'm being dangerous, and it almost felt like the first day of middle school all over. But, as a curvy girl who took the risk, I'm glad I did :)



    Great post, thank you.
  • rocketass99
    rocketass99 Posts: 537 Member
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    I hate guys in the gym like that. I was an instructor for many years and i always just wanted to take them and give them a real workout. And your right, it does intimadate people that are new to lift, men and women. Jerks
  • Vailara
    Vailara Posts: 2,452 Member
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    I agree that they might have been trying to be helpful, and would probably have thought you were a complete beginner if you were asking how much the bar was. I know I couldn't press the bar when I started a few months ago. I could squat the bar from the beginning, but I do find squat form really hard. I'm still working on my form now. Some people struggle to even do a body weight squat. So it's possible that, knowing nothing about you other than that you didn't know what the bar weighed, they allowed for you being a weaker starter. Somebody other than you might have been put off if they'd tried with the bar and couldn't do it. All the guys in my gym seem to use the pad, so again, they might have been trying to be helpful.

    On the other hand, they should have listened to you, and not assumed that you "definitely" couldn't lift the bar (either because you were female, or because you were a beginner). You showed them!

    Well done on the 20 x 45 lb squats!
  • Nix143
    Nix143 Posts: 522 Member
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    Ok, so maybe they were trying to be helpful? What about offering you some advice or checking your form instead of just saying no, you can't do that?

    You would kinda hope in a situation like that, not just in the gym but elsewhere, that if someone has some knowledge that they think another person doesn't have they would maybe try and pass it on in a constructive manner? *shrugging* Call me a big ole bunch of naivety, it's how I like to hope people will operate.

    Good for you, the weights room can be intimidating as anything, the fear can be a bigger thing than the actual weight you are hefting :)
  • lldem
    lldem Posts: 31 Member
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    I dont take things like that personally but I'm out going anyway. Good for you to continue on! Is there not a trainer at your gym - that would be the person I would go to for help. In our town, we have several gyms, one is all female because there are lots of ppl who are beginners and feel uncomfortable going to a gym to work out with men. Keep up the great work!
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Go get 'em! Oh wait. You already are. Very nice.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    The other day I posted a topic on where to start with lifting. I have been doing very light weight dumbbell exercises (using 8lb) and body weight workouts in circuits but I want to see more strength and obvious muscles. I went to the gym today to try out the barbell and see what I could do in order to create a routine. I saw two gentlemen, probably in their 50's, workout out and I asked them how much the bar weighed by itself. They immediately told me I'd better use dumb bells because it's 45 pounds and that would DEFINITELY be too heavy for me. I figure they were saying this because I was female and I also don't have a muscular body type. I said 45 pounds doesn't seem like too much, especially for squatting, although possibly a bit much for an overhead press. They still said I shouldn't do it but when I said I was going to try it once anyway, they gave me a shoulder pad and said, "you don't need to be a hero". By this point I was fairly mad because I know they were doubting me simply because I was female. So I put the shoulder pad on the ground and did an easy 20 reps with the bar. And didn't hurt my neck because I researched how to properly hold to bar without hurting one's self... Did a couple bench presses, deadlifts, and even the over head press.

    The reason I'm telling this story is because this was exactly the reason I was intimated to go into the weight room in the first place. And probably the reason many women are. I didn't know exactly where to start because it was new, I knew people would look at me funny, I knew people would think I'm being dangerous, and it almost felt like the first day of middle school all over. But, as a curvy girl who took the risk, I'm glad I did :)
    do you go to a WYCA?
    the gym i go is a little more weights only focused. I used to see a girl squatting 95lbs man, she was badass.
  • RainbootsToBikinis
    RainbootsToBikinis Posts: 465 Member
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    You'll find all different types. I had an older man tell me the other day that if I can't reach it I shouldn't use it. Referring to the lat pull-down bar because I have to step up on the bench to attach it. There are other guys who are always willing to answer my questions, or spot for me and think it's great I'm doing something than spending 2 hours on the elliptical. The more you go (and go at the same time) you'll get to know the other regulars and who can be relied on for help and who you should avoid.
  • booyainyoface
    booyainyoface Posts: 409 Member
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    you should try crossfit... we all try to beat each other. yesterday i got encouraged to squat 183 (and im 145) and i did it... twice. it was awesome.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    Well those guys are old. They probably also think women belong at home pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen making them a sandwich.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    I actually had an experience quite the opposite. A guy made fun of me because of how light I was lifting. (50lb bench press lol) I put those little 2.5lb weights on the ends and he looks at it and goes "wow, that's pretty heavy. Don't hurt yourself now!" I was like "...*kitten*" lol. I know he was just kidding around. Didn't bother me. Hey I KNOW I'm not strong. That's why I'm at the gym.
  • brandon17013
    brandon17013 Posts: 40 Member
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    Way to overcome their unrequested criticism! They were just worried that you were going to show them up.... which you prob did. LOL Keep on lifting and getting stronger! Nothing more beautiful than a woman with a barbell on her shoulders :-D
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    To be fair, if somebody asked me how much the bar weighed (either gender) I would assume they don't have experience, and would suggest a body bar first, then progressing to the empty bar.

    That is true.. my first day in the weight room I asked some guy how much the bar weighed (I was going to do bench press) and he told me 45lb and then showed me where the 35lb bar was so I used that. He was very helpful. Lol. I probably would've looked like a *kitten* trying to lift the 45lb bar (that was too heavy for me at the time) never knowing that there was a lighter one out there.

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