Identity issues. after weight loss

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mamabearcushing
mamabearcushing Posts: 30 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have to lose 110lbs. That is a lot of weight. That is more than half a regular person. Has anyone gone though identity issues after losing a lot of weight. I look at my tummy and get sad. I have always had a big belly, now its disappearing. I feel like I am losing parts of me. Parts that have always been there when no one else has. I think this is going to be the hardest part of losing the rest of the weight. As I write this I realize its obvious I may need professional help. I wonder if anyone else has gone through this?

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  • CarlaSol90
    CarlaSol90 Posts: 14 Member
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    This is a really interesting thing to bring up. I'm just now starting to lose weight but I do fear that somehow I'll become less compassionate (since being chubby all my life has conditioned me to be very empathetic) when I lose weight. Sometimes I think I'm "selling out" by sticking to a regimen, like I should stay fat as a big f-you to everyone who despises me solely because I'm bigger than them, but usually I reconcile those feelings by remaining focused on MYSELF. This journey is for me, and to be healthier for MY future. I'm not sure if that helps any to answer your inquiries. >.<
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
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    i went through that the first time i lost weight (127 lbs total) and i am convinced i gained the weight back because of the identity issues. I struggled with getting treated so different.. lots of anger. You will still be you no matter what. Do you think it's from loving ourselves the way we are/were? you have to love yourself first, but it does bring some conflicting feelings.. if i love myself as is, why lose weight? Right? For me, the conflicting emotions are part of the journey. Love yourself no matter what :)
  • sammielealea
    sammielealea Posts: 245 Member
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    Don't think that you're losing yourself as you are losing weight. You are, in fact, finding that stronger person inside you as you conquer your goals. Embrace your healthier self and continue to reach out when you need it. You're worth it!
  • IrishHarpy1
    IrishHarpy1 Posts: 399 Member
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    Yeah, I felt a little like that at first. I've lost over 100 pounds (84 since starting MFP), and used to get upset at all the "parts" I was losing. Then I started to think of all the OTHER things I was losing: migraines, various aches and pains, high blood pressure, the likelihood of developing diabetes.... see where I'm going with this?

    Deep down inside, you are still YOU -- and soon to be a healthier and happier you. Hang in there! :flowerforyou:
  • overfences
    overfences Posts: 96 Member
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    I think you need to really look deep inside yourself and consider why exactly you gained the weight in the first place. I know that some people gain weight to "hide," especially if they've been abused, and I would imagine that losing the weight would cause them to feel vulnerable and exposed. Obviously your story is unique and may be nothing like that, I'm just saying that sometimes there's much more emotion that comes along with the process than we expect.

    I think you are right that therapy would be a good idea, just to work through whatever's in your way. I wish you well on your journey!
  • mamabearcushing
    mamabearcushing Posts: 30 Member
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    All of these responses really moved me.

    Like what suzieqcookie said, I love me the way I am, why lose weight? Then I look at my daughter and I know I have to do this for her.
    IrishHarpy1 you are very right. If I hadnt lost the weight I have I wouldnt have learned that my aches and pains arent from being over weight. They were from underlying health issues that are causing my infertility.

    overfences, i was sexually abused as a teen. I often wonder if that has a lot to do with it. Recently I noticed how much my body has changed. I look a lot better. So I cover up.

    One day at a time right? Who thought weight loss would be more challenging then just dieting and exercise.
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
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    I'm reading a wonderful book about the mental side of dieting called "The Only Diet There Is" by Sondra Ray. Also, self-help and new age books like the ones by Louise Hay like The Power Is Within You, and You Can Heal Your Life, and any authors associated with her publishing company HayHouse, are strongly recommended. Other than that, talking to people who are there for you can never be wrong. Love yourself no matter what you look like, and face your fears. Best wishes.

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