My "Friends" don't understand me

ErikaAvp88
ErikaAvp88 Posts: 36 Member
in Motivation and Support
I started school on August 28th. By that time I was exactly a month into my weight loss journey. I've been so motivated to lose the weight and I've been doing pretty good, which I'm very proud of myself for.

Today at school I almost wanted to kill my friends (not really, but I was so pissed off). They snack all the time, and today, as usual, they wanted to have a snack during a break. They bought a bunch of chocolates and cookies, sodas, and they were offering me to eat some, which I, very politely said "no, thank you guys!", and all of the sudden one of them screamed at me: I CAN'T STAND YOU! You don't want to eat anything! Every time I try to share something with you you just say no! Your stupid diet is driving me insane!" .... .... I was just thinking to myself: "Really? are you f****** serious?" And I told her: "I'm sorry if this annoys you, but AS I'VE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES I'm trying to lose weight! First of all, I DO EAT, I just don't eat that crap you have every single day! Lucky you that you can eat whatever and not gain any weight! Second, since I told you I was trying to lose weight, I was expecting a little support from you and look what you tell me! I've been freakin overweight my entire life and for the first time, in a very long time, I'm trying to do something good for myself". After that she didn't say anything to me. So I just walked away.

I'm really pissed off right now, but at the same time I'm really sad because I really don't understand why they're treating me like that...

Sorry for the typos, english is not my first language but I really tried my best to explain my situation.

Replies

  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I feel like there is more to this story...
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
    Wow. :( I'm sorry they said that to you. It's not like you said, "I can't eat that crap." You were very nice about it. They should be supportive, not angry with you. A friend of mine was losing weight long before I started, so I always made sure to make healthy snacks when she came over to watch movies, and I'd let her decide where we had lunch since I had no idea where she was with her calories and such.

    I'd probably keep my distance until they learn to respect your new lifestyle. I'm really sorry they treated you like that. :(
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
    applause to you for standing up and keeping to your goals and plans
  • jazee11
    jazee11 Posts: 321
    Food pushers are everywhere. Good for you for standing up for yourself. Support yourself, you are the one that matters, it's your body.

    Could be that you friend would like your company in her bad habits. Or could be other stuff.

    All you can do is become the change that you would like to see.
  • rooster70460
    rooster70460 Posts: 206 Member
    Sounds like they are jealous! Take care of yourself and do not let her make you feel bad.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    Friends would accept you for who you are and not what you eat. It's a tough situation to be put in and I really feel for you. Maybe your friend feels like you are judging her food choices but that's her problem not yours. Big hugs.
  • ncthomas09
    ncthomas09 Posts: 322 Member
    I get that sometimes...not to that extreme by any means. But it does make you wonder why people can't live and let live!! It's like ok so if I brought a bag of baby carrots for my snack and offered them and they said no should I jump their rear end for not accepting it!?!?
  • doodles80
    doodles80 Posts: 59
    Firstly can I congratulate you o your English - I would not think it wasnot your first langage.

    Theres lots of things that could be going on here - your friend may well be jealous that you are changing for the positive and attention may be directed away from them. I remember when I was at school (years ago now) and I had an awful haircut and decided I wanted to grow it long. Well my friends all discouraged me and do you know what? I did it and grew a massive long main of curly blonde hair and felt so much better for it.

    Well done for having the willpower to stick to your diet, your friends should be more supportive of you - if they can't bring themselves to be maybe its time to start hanging out with people that are?
  • lorettaasmith
    lorettaasmith Posts: 418 Member
    Good for you for standing up for yourself....if she actually was a good friend, you've opened her eyes and she'll come around. If not, then you haven't lost a whole lot. :-(
  • misspastry
    misspastry Posts: 109 Member
    Just tell them "Haters are my motivators"!
  • ErikaAvp88
    ErikaAvp88 Posts: 36 Member
    I don't understand why she did that... it really hurt my feelings, because she knows how much effort I'm putting in this... I've been nothing but supportive to her when she needed me, and now that I need her she acts like this... and my other friend didn't say a word to defend me, he was just sitting there eating...

    I don't think I deserve to be treated like that, but if that's what she wants then awesome, I won't talk to her until she apologies. I don't need that kind of people in my life.

    Thank you all for the support and the sweet comments, you guys are amazing! :smile:
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Seems perhaps new friends are in order. If they are going to be that negative, judgmental and openly hostile towards you choices then it would seem no great loss to no longer associate with them. I have no doubt you can make friends with people who are supportive of your choices. I do understand your anger.
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
    I agree with the above poster...I don't know the whole situation, but her behavior really does not sound like a friend. I try to only focus on people who motivate and make me feel better about myself, and cut ties with anyone who doesn't...even if that means getting rid of a friendship that I have had for awhile or a relationship with a relative. life is way too short to be pulled down by people who can't handle other people being happy.
  • almart007
    almart007 Posts: 71 Member
    Some people become threatened when they see someone has the will power to make a positive change. Stick to your healthy habits. The only thing that you can control is you. In this case i would say find people that will support your efforts and not attempt to sabotage you.
  • victoriadw84
    victoriadw84 Posts: 77 Member
    Oh I TOTALLY understand you on this one. I had a friend in particular who knew as well I was trying to get healthy and feel better about myself. My motivation was my wedding. I cant even tell you how many times she insisted on buying me junk food, ice cream etc you name it. She would always find some reason to try to get me to eat crap food. I always said no. I look back on it now and I truly feel a "good friend" should not be trying to demolish your goals they should be supporting you. Good for you for standing up for yourself and sticking to the lifestyle you are trying to create for yourself.
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
    Lots of dieters become very self-righteous.......
  • shelivesdifferent
    shelivesdifferent Posts: 10 Member
    This type of thing seems to happen to me all the time around the holidays, when you have family first telling you how you look like your losing weight and then taking offense to why you dont want to eat the whole turkey or ham (Im excagerating a little, but Im sure you get it, LOL) all in the same breath!! One thing you dont have to do is explain yourself to anyone!! Their your friends, she obviously knows what your trying to do because shes screaming how your diets making her sick, but if you continue to keep allowing people like her or anyone to make you second guess whats best for you, then THEIR the ones winning, not you! Just bring some of your favorite low cal, low fat foods next time and keep offering them to her, when she says she doesnt want any, or like it, just scream " uuugghh, Im so sick of you always eating a bunch of $@#5 all the time!!" :wink:
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I mention to clients all the time when they have an addiction "it is essential to associate with those who do not use". Perhaps this is similar to the situation of dieting and eating healthy.
  • FitFlipRunner
    FitFlipRunner Posts: 66 Member
    I mention to clients all the time when they have an addiction "it is essential to associate with those who do not use". Perhaps this is similar to the situation of dieting and eating healthy.

    I agree! Birds of a feather flock together! If they can't respect you and respect what you are doing they will only be negative. Try to surround yourself with positive motivated people! Good luck and keep up the good work!
  • AmandaTWaH
    AmandaTWaH Posts: 181 Member
    Drives me crazy. My fiancée and I have arguments about this sometimes. He likes to eat out and I need to cut back. He loves cheese and Mexican, I can't have much of it. I'm spending an hour a day working out and more time planning meals he sometimes feels like my lifestyle is taking over his life.

    It is hard but in the end I know I have his support. If they can't support you, it may be time to stop hanging around them, at the very least while they are eating.
  • Thanis90
    Thanis90 Posts: 63 Member
    Ugh, I've had a similar-ish situation at College myself. All my classmates take the lift, and then moan at me when I walk up the stairs. It has started to annoy me when they say things like "Aww, just get the lift with us" and "You know there IS a lift!". Like I can't see it when I walk by it every day!
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
    It's too bad your friend can't be more supportive of your journey to get healthy and lose weight. You handled the situation well, just keep doing what you're doing and please remember we are here for you.

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