Negative self-talk and the power of the voice in your head

I just sent a message to a person on my friend list, and as I wrote it, I realized that I want to share it further. So here it is:

I'd like to gently suggest that you abolish the negative self-talk. We are so hard on ourselves - harder than anyone else could ever be, and it's our inner voice that matters the most, since it's always there, and we can never drown it out. But we *can* change it.

I have this image of a stage that lives in my head, and for years - for most of my life, in fact - the person on stage holding the microphone said horrible things to me and about me. "You're fat, you're a failure, you might as well give up since you never stick to anything anyway..." When that was my constant inner monologue, it's really hard to believe something different.

So I made a conscious choice - that person doesn't get the microphone anymore. Yes, I know every word that person would say - I could do the whole routine from memory from the years and years I've heard those mean words.

But now the stage is under new management, and the person who gets to hold the microphone has a voice that says thing like: "Forgive yourself. You're here now. Look how great you're doing, right this second! You'll soon be the person you see in your dreams."

And even though it was really hard to believe that new, kind voice in the beginning, even though the sound of those words made the tears flow down my face, I forced myself to keep the microphone in that person's hand. Of course, the self-hating mean voice tried to take the stage, and I would say - often out loud, "Stop it. You don't get to talk anymore - I listened to you long enough." And I had a new mantra that I would say every time the mean voice tried to take over: "Stop! You're here now. Forgive yourself."

After a while, that mean voice interjected less and less, and the kind voice became easier to believe. And as that metamorphoses evolved in my mind, my body was metamorphosing along with it. I was getting smaller, and stronger, and healthier, and happier. And I deserve that health and happiness. And so do you.

So no more negative self-talk, you! You deserve better.

xoxo,
Amy