40 yo gay man, happily married, unhappily fat...

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deepseas72
deepseas72 Posts: 1 Member
in Introduce Yourself
So this is me...I'm 40, 5'6, 233 lbs. I am an emotional eater...when I'm depressed, bored, angry, dissatisfied, etc. I eat. I live in the extreme heat and humidity of south Louisiana, so it really affects my desire to be active outside. I would love to live somewhere like California or Oregon, where the temps and natural beauty are more conducive to outdoor activities, but that is not an option right now. My spouse is naturally thin and is able to eat anything he wants without gaining weight. It isn't fair to prevent him from indulging in sweets, so they are always in the house. It is going to have to be about me learning to leave them alone even when they are around. I have an elliptical trainer, but so little motivation.

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  • kaseymei
    kaseymei Posts: 164
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    hi there... lots of sweets in my house too. I have two teenage boys and a fiance who can eat whatever they want and not gain a single pound. So unfair!! I've found this site very useful in helping me hold myself accountable for what I eat.... Best of luck to you and feel free to add me for support and motivation. :)
  • lilsis10
    lilsis10 Posts: 72 Member
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    I understand about emotional eating. Give me an emotion. Any emotion. I now have a reason to eat. It's a very hard thing to overcome.

    I also live in the south. Grew up with constant humidity, but not so much where I live now. Still, if I'm going to exercise, it'll happen indoors or not at all. If I'm going to take a walk, it will be at the gym. Add me as a friend, if you'd like. We can help each other.
  • rhvandan
    rhvandan Posts: 185
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    So this is me...I'm 40, 5'6, 233 lbs. I am an emotional eater...when I'm depressed, bored, angry, dissatisfied, etc. I eat. I live in the extreme heat and humidity of south Louisiana, so it really affects my desire to be active outside. I would love to live somewhere like California or Oregon, where the temps and natural beauty are more conducive to outdoor activities, but that is not an option right now. My spouse is naturally thin and is able to eat anything he wants without gaining weight. It isn't fair to prevent him from indulging in sweets, so they are always in the house. It is going to have to be about me learning to leave them alone even when they are around. I have an elliptical trainer, but so little motivation.

    I share your pain! I'm an EVERYTHING eater. Reward, punishment, treat, emotion, boredom... you name it, I eat because of it. I live in So Cal, you're always welcome in my neck of the woods!.. well.. city... I'm actually closest to the beach I guess.. but I digress!
    When you are really ready, you will make the change. I fought getting healthy for years! I finally found my motivation and now I'm rolling. I'm happy to try and help if you'd like. Good luck!
  • jamielovesjbs
    jamielovesjbs Posts: 154 Member
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    hi! my husband loves to buy cookies and other "junk" and i have the HARDEST time not eating them!!!
  • Tanimom
    Tanimom Posts: 29 Member
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    Boy, are you on the right site! Don't short change your partner. If he understands how unhappy this is making you, you may be surprised at how supportive he might be. Give him specifics on how he might support you. In my experience, recovering from the doldrums sometimes is just about taking one step in the right direction. I think you've started by joining this site. I hope you'll friend me. I'll send you lots of good vibes from Oregon!!
  • anrev42
    anrev42 Posts: 331
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    totally understand the emotion part and it is a struggle. However, you have to ask yourself how bad to you want to lose the weight? You have made a big step on joining this site. It will help you track down your calories and find alot of support from people who you can relate to. Feel free to add me.
  • kerryjudson
    kerryjudson Posts: 137 Member
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    join a gym thats air conditioned and get your skinny partner to join too, lift some weights that will get you both toned, that way you wont suffer from the heat, will have someone to work out with and hopefully motivation. it might not be fair to deprive him of sweet treats but he could help you by keeping them out of the house. If you're unhappily fat he will want to help you and make you happy amd healthy. find activities you can do together, walking, dancing, skating, horse riding, swimming. if you're busy and having fun you wont want to over eat. track your calories and stick to your goals,if you want a treat then exercise to earn the extra calories. when you realise how long you have to stay on a cross trainer for to burn off a chocolate bar it really makes you think twice. good luck and enjoy your journey :o)
  • Briahkayleen
    Briahkayleen Posts: 5
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    Welcome we have alot of similarities! My husband is also a stick and having the food around when he is home is no good for me, If it makes you feel any better one of my best friends lives in oregon and she and all her girlfriends have a joke saying when you move to oregon you get fbs (fat butt syndrome) haha So the location may not be better lol. Good luck! And happy weight loss
  • banks89202
    banks89202 Posts: 270
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    Wow, I seriously felt like I was reading about myself (about the spouse eating sweets and no weight gain) lol! My husband eats sweets all the time and never gains a pound. I have to cook separate meals for my daughter and him. It's hard but I am determined to get all of this weight off. I also know where your coming from with the weather in LA (I live in Texarkana Tx, so Howdy neighbor!) And when my hubs wants something sweet he will eat it when I am not around, he knows how much I love sweets!! Hope I helped you feel a little better if anything, but you can do it !! :)
  • tammymeis
    tammymeis Posts: 9
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    Hi, I'm a fitness coach that started out as a jewelry designer that wanting to drop a few pounds! My name is Tammy and I'll be 53 this November. I recently lost 22 pounds and I'm working on the last few by doing a P90X and reporting into my accountability group on Facebook daily. It keep me on track. I find that I'm not motivated unless I'm accountable for something, hence the accountability group! LOL
    Keeping track of calories is great with this app, and I also try to stay away from processed foods with crap in them. That's also where the accountability is useful. Hubby doesn't bring it here because I asked him if he wanted a fit wife or a fat wife, so he stopped bringing it in the house! LOL
    Shakeology squished my cravings for the sweets mostly, so that helped a lot. But the amount of calories can be so easily miscalculated and I've come to learn that diet is approximately 80% of your weight loss results so you really NEED to know what you are eating.
    If anyone is on Facebook and would loke to join our group I'm at www.facebook.com/coachtammym and all you need to do is send me a friend request with a message that you would like to join Team Fitness. It's private and we talk about eating better, cleaner, working out, motivation, inspiration, accountability...all kinds of good stuff. And it's all free, no strings attached. It's a pay it forward thing I am doing to help others get to their goals too so everyone is welcome!
    Hope to see you all there soon. Happy Journey!
    Tammy Meis

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