Losing weight-Yay, losing social life-Ugh
kebass8
Posts: 13
I have recently jumped back on the horse after I reached a really heavy weight and got tired of wearing my only pair of fat jeans. I have lost about 6lbs in the past 2.5 weeks which I am so ecstatic about. However, I am 24 and my boyfriend likes to go out on weekends since we do live in a college town. I am finding it harder and harder to go out though because I would rather eat my calories then drink them. I keep telling myself in a month or two I will be able to drink those calories, and everything will be find just dig in deeo and stick to my diet. Its hard though, there is only so much I can do that doesnt involve calorie intake. I am sick of tagging along to the parties and being the only sober one, and he is sick of staying around the house and going to bed at 11 on weekends or going to movies. So i have started stayin home while he goes out. I am losing things to occupy myself with though, especially between the hours of 9-12. Any advice or hobbies? What do you guys do to avoid the temptation? I can't really go out with my friends because I am a grad student so most my of them are married and at home with their significant others, or they are still stuck in the college life of going out. I do give myself breaks every now and then so its not a constant no going on, but its hard to stay home and do nothing. I could really use some ideas of how to not go crazy and seem like a hermit.
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Replies
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Pick up a hobby. Maybe you and your bf could try walking or biking or hiking together?
Join something on campus that will get you out on evenings to practice or rehearsal (theatre, sports, music, art...)0 -
Honestly I would still go out, get a diet coke and watch the drunks. You cant distance yourself from everyone because that's unfair to your bf and to yourself. So why dont you two come up with a game plan like, go out to the bars twice a month, and twice a month you can go to the movies or stay home?0
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Ahhh yes I do know exactly what you are talking about. I also live in a college town, a rural one at that, and most weekends people just drink their faces off and call it fun.
I am lucky that my boyfriend also doesn't like drinking, or hanging out with drunk friends, so we are hermits together.
However, when he would go away for weekends for his sports team, I designated the weekend as girly girl weekend (not sure if this would work for you) and I would watch the most terrible, gossip-y tv or movies that he hates, paint my nails, do dance workouts to bad pop music, and just let my inner girl freak flag fly!
I'm talking Pretty Little Liars, soap operas, endless marathons of Food Porn, anything with Meg Ryan, anything with Sarah Jessica Parker, etc. I also would talk to my sister for an hour or two and talk LOUD and talk gossip (also stuff he hates! usually i go outside for that) oh and also I baby the crap out of our dog, full on baby talk, which I also try to restrict around him since it's a bit embarrassing haha. But my dog likes it!
My 2 cents! Good luck!0 -
Sounds tough! I also feel weird being the only sober one at parties. I am such a light weight that it doesn't take too much to get me drunk so I can budget in some calories every once in a while.
Also, are you going to ISU? Just noticed you are from Ames and so am I!
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two words. Vodka. water. (with lots of lemon)0
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That is hard. I agree with you that I would rather eat my calories than drink them. Plus I have no desire to ever have another hangover. I enjoy feeling healthy too much. Maybe you could budget one beer or a glass of wine into your daily calories so you could at least go out for a little while? Another option is having something low-cal or a mocktail. I like to get club soda with a splash of cranberry and a lime -- it's a mocktail that at least looks like a cocktail so people don't ask me why I am not drinking. Wine spritzers (half wine and half club soda) are good, too.
On the other hand, there's nothing wrong with not going out as often -- I love a good movie, gardening, cooking, sewing, and painting.0 -
I struggled with this a couple of years ago when I was "dieting" and it ended up making me really depressed. I stopped going out as much with my friends and boyfriend so I could avoid temptation. Yes the pounds came off, but I had become sad all the time. In the end it resulted in me giving up and gaining the weight back. This time around I NEVER give up going somewhere bc I'm afraid I'll be tempted. If I want to drink, I work it into my calories, whether it be exercise more or eat less. Yes, sometimes I have a little too much to drink and end up going over, but those days will happen. To keep weight off you have to make this a lifestyle change, not go on a "diet". Going out with your friends sober can be really entertaining too. I love to get them realllllly drunk and watch the fun 0
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What kind of exercise are you getting in? I almost always end up with extra calories because I'm used to eating within my base limit, but now I've taken up exercise also. This morning (wearing a HRM for verification), I did 15 min of elliptical, 25 min of heavy weights (3 sets, 6 reps, 7 stations), and then 20 min of stationary bike. My HRM read 890 cals.. that's like.. a 6 pack..
*shrug* Dig deep.. go hard.. earn those weekend fun trips
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Great Topic! I'm 48 and still struggle with the same problem you describe -- I hate to say it, but socializing with others often revolves around food (and, yes, drinking) so it is something that you'll deal with for the rest of your life. I don't have all the answers, but I've tried getting my husband to do active things with me at night (especially weekends) -- like going to play tennis under the lights or going out dancing or to hear music. There are also things you can do that don't have to include eating -- like see a play or movie (don't buy the big popcorn or soda, though). Even if you go out before or after that, you will have limited the amount of time exposed to food/drink. Finally, you will see that the longer you do this program that you will be able to build in calories to go out and eat and even have a few drinks. You just have to plan a little and don't do it every night! Hope this was helpful. I'm really interested to see what others suggest!0
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Join a hiking meetup group. Smoke pot and then go to the bar and drink seltzer.0
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Gin and skinny tonic FTW. :drinker:0
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I get what you are saying (I go to bed really early some nights when I am feeling tempted to eat) but as mentioned by others, you can't stop living and being social. You need to learn to deal with this stuff now otherwise once you reach your goal and start socializing again all those temptations will be there still and you won't know how to handle them.
What about entertaining at your place? You control the "snacks" that are served, you control the portion size of your drinks (if you so choose to have any). Play board games, card games with friends. Twister and charades are fun, plus you are moving, at any age. Plan a bowling night with friends - again - moving. Reserve a lane for later in the evening and meet your friends there (they could come from the bar). Pour your soda or bubbly water into a fancy glass, I swear water tastes better in a wine glass!!
Good luck.0 -
watch out for the munchies though - could be a killer0
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Ugh I know exactly how you feel! My husband and I are in our mid-twenties and both want to lose some weight. But it's so hard to avoid going out with friends on the weekends! A part of me is always thinking - "well we're only young once, whenever we have kids we aren't going to be able to do this anymore." Another part of me is always thinking - "well we're only young once, I don't want to be one of those people in my 40s saying I'm now in the best shape of my life" (seriously no offense to anyone in their 40s who is in the best shape of their life, super kudos to you!)
I've been trying to sway our friends to do different activities during the day (rather than day drinking), such as volleyball, mini golf, batting cages, hiking, walking, etc. so I can get some physical activity in, then I stick to diet tonic water and gin or vodka or Michelob ultra and I try to limit myself to a few.
We live in a small town so there isn't tons to do, drinking has been the only thing to do around here since high school so it's continually an issue for me as well. Now that I'm reading this, I realize I really didn't help you out at all, just a long way of me saying that I'm in the same situation as you! I'm just trying moderation, I can't ever turn down a good time!0 -
I've hit the same wall .. I'm a 28 year old single woman and it was really hard for me to no go out and "party with the girls"!
I turned to work.. I picked up a second job and literally have no time to go out at all. I realize this probably won't be your solution as you have a man and probably want to spend SOME time together, haha! What i'm trying to say is, find something you can dive into. Something you love doing. If you need some social interaction join a club or if you're like me you can go by yourself and find others that are naturally drawn to you because you're doing that one thing that they enjoy too!!
I would google and see what's in your local area - the first thing that catches your eye
I know my advise doesn't help soooo much but definitely worth a shot!
Good luck!
Cheers0 -
Totally feel your pain. I've cut back on a lot of social events b/c of the no drinking/no happy hour food thing. But when I do go out, i generally save a couple hundred calories or I work out extra for the week if I know I have something planned for the weekend -- i will order one drink or one happy hour menu item. Its all about planning.0
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Virgin Mary, lots of hot sauce and lemon - drink it slowly. Will still look like you're indulging but you will have your wits and can even be DD for the group. Get it with a celery stalk and chow down on it instead of the munchies.0
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Sounds tough! I also feel weird being the only sober one at parties. I am such a light weight that it doesn't take too much to get me drunk so I can budget in some calories every once in a while.
Also, are you going to ISU? Just noticed you are from Ames and so am I!
Yea I go to ISU!! Go cyclones haha. Small world. There is like nothing to do in Ames while budgeting calories and money haha. I just have been around drunks so much that I can't really have fun with them since I usually have to end up driving everyone to Mcdonalds or home. Also apparently I am a mean drunk, so I am limited on alcohol and I can have 2 drinks and be hungover til 5pm the next day so I avoid it.0 -
I can sympathize with you. While we are not in the same boat (I’m married w/ 2 kids in my later 30s) going out to happy hours with co-workers and friends can be hard when you are trying to be good. One thing I do is eat before I meet people out, especially if I know I’m going to a place with only bar food. Then when they are ordering burgers and wings I’m not tempted because I’m already full. As for drinking, I might order a Jack and Diet Coke or a Michelob Ultra, two of those wont set you back and will add up to less than a 200 calories for the night. It’s funny, and maybe this is more with guys…when I am out and order a Jack and Diet or an Ultra I get a bunch of ribbing from my friends (“…and what are you ordering for your husband?” is one of their favorites). But inevitably one or two will pull me aside over the course of the night and ask me what else I have been doing to lose weight and want to know more. With 2 kids I don’t go out a lot, a happy hour every other week or so. I can see being in the college scene making this much harder. I think it is important though to get out and hang around your friends while losing weight. You need to find a way to fit healthy living in with your normal routine of life. That balance will be key to keeping any weight you lose off long-term. Good luck!0
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Dry wines and spirits with diet mixers, a gin and diet tonic is about 50kcals. Be the designated driver once in awhile, you can go out and not drink, and maybe others will do it too. Also, get loaded once in awhile, a sensible diet shouldn't be about deprivation0
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two words. Vodka. water. (with lots of lemon)
same advice, you can try tequila with clight/crystal light or scotch with diet coke, thats what i'm doing today 0 -
Dry wines and spirits with diet mixers, a gin and diet tonic is about 50kcals. Be the designated driver once in awhile, you can go out and not drink, and maybe others will do it too. Also, get loaded once in awhile, a sensible diet shouldn't be about deprivation
I plan on getting loaded tomorrow night so trying to be good tonight, running out of ideas to stay good though haha. 0 -
The drinking bothers other people more than it does me... I know what I want to have or not have and I can stick to my guns. BUT my husband and all of our friends LOVE to drink.... I learned that if my drink "looks" alcoholic, they get off my case and don't say anything. I drink lots of diet cokes with a wedge of lime in a small glass- yes I don't get as much for the $$ but it looks like a rum & diet and no one says anything at parties. Thankfully being the DD doesn't really bug me one way or another so i happily drive myself and my husband home.0
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I just go out anyway and not drink, my friends always got drunk way before me anyway (to the point i'm too concerned whith looking after them to keep drinking, so I never got drunk), so no one has really noticed the change. Just get one drink, even a small glass of wine or something (though some bars will give you the equivalent of 2 glasses (250ml) even when you ask for a small) and nurse it for ages.0
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two words. Vodka. water. (with lots of lemon)
^^^ This0 -
Join a hiking meetup group. Smoke pot and then go to the bar and drink seltzer.
Or this ^^^
:laugh:
But drunks tend to harsh your mellow. :frown:
:smokin:0 -
Plan on going out only 3-4 times a month. Work out a little extra before you go. Also drink on an empty stomach and then eat a low fat snack such as a low fat granola bar to soak it up. I sneak mine in my purse. Drinking on an empty stomach and then eating a little will actually make you feel tipsy longer. Drink vodka shots or drink gin with diet soda. Drink lots of water. Work out a little extra the next day. Ta-da! If you are healthy at other times 3-4 times of spluging a month isn't going to hurt you. You have to be happy with a healthier life. It has to be something you can do and don't feel deprived. Good luck!0
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I admit I struggle with this as well. For me it's dating and I basically gave it up until I reach my goals. Before eveyone starts flaming me yes, you can go on "healthy" dates but honestly it's hard to talk and get to know somone while your biking or hiking. The best way to get to know someone is to sit down and talk with them and the best way to get people to talk is a nice dinner and glass of wine. Heck, even now lately I have just been haning out with some buddies at the bar on the weekend and it seems like a few beers and bar food easily wipes out the weeks progress. (Yes, I know thats not true but it does seem that way sometimes)
Yes, you can adjust your drinks to be low-cal but I think you need to find a balance if you go out to the bar's Friday night then see if you can go hiking together "saturday" morning. Knowing that you have to get up and hike in the moring will help you curb the Friday night drinking.
Just my two cents!!!0 -
Join a hiking meetup group. Smoke pot and then go to the bar and drink seltzer.
AGREED!0 -
to be honest, if you go out getting drunk every weekend, you'll probably always be overweight. at some point, you have to make your lifestyle choice.
part of the problem is that the average person's idea of a social life means going out and drinking 1000+ calories of alcohol and then some fatty foods on the way home. you need to find something else to do on the weekend, that doesn't involve drinking so much.
1. try being sober on a night out
2. stick to 5 drinks max
3. maybe just take 1 night off every 3 or so weeks for a proper drinking session, but don't go for the greasy food afterwards
4. do exercise during the week without eating back the calories, to allow for drinks on the weekend
i tend to drink from 330ml bottles when i go out, as i find 5 drinks tend to last me all night.0
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