Adultery Diet -Update

sabes2631
sabes2631 Posts: 403 Member
edited September 20 in Health and Weight Loss
So I found put last night that he in fact did take her out again on friday in the new jeep that I helped him to get. I believe it was she who drove wiht him to springfield to check it out as well. SO i am back where I started becasue I did indeed build th new happiness of me on the hope that we would be okay and that i would be able to move past it.

Instead, I found my rage and took the remainder of his belongings and tossed them out over the top deck out front. Everything he had left in this house was in fact on the front lawn. I think that I was in shock.
Then I went into his bank accnt and took back the money that was ours that we used to help him pay an insurance bill. I felt like he owed it back to the house fund.

And I posted the pic on my facebook page of all of his belongings in the front yard - which in turn was spotted by a colleague of his and is in fact the center of the gossip storm at the HS he teaches at. HE was hoping at all costs to keep it out of the schools-which is IRONIC because that is precisely where it began with another teacher.

So now I am being called vinidictive. I am not. I am hurt and tired of feeling like I had so much hope while he just mosied along not changing anything.

So it felt good to throw his things off the deck. We live on a busy street at rush hour on a stop sign,, so he was pretty embarrassed. Me? I have not cried hard yet today. My mom just left. My loneliness will hit me hard in a bit I am sure. I am going to get a massage and then meeting with a friend for a bite-not that I can eat -

I have dropped to 118. I started this mess on xmas at about 135ish. I woke up the other night with the feelilng of starvation in my body. My muscles actualy hurt for nourishment.

I am afraid I am back where I started. I had so much hope I was riding on. I had actually asked him to move back in yesterday so we could work on it.

Replies

  • davidantell
    davidantell Posts: 13
    You Rock! Dont stand for that stuff, he is out of there. You speak from your heart and you are a good person who will find your way and your partner when the time is right
  • Garrettsmom
    Garrettsmom Posts: 35 Member
    I am so sorry. I wish I had the words to say to help you through this. I will be praying for you though. No matter what, you deserve better than the hand you were dealt, and you will survive this.
  • sportsmomof2
    sportsmomof2 Posts: 136
    I applaud you for being able to write your feelings. I know what you are going through is difficult ( my first husband, did alot of the same things). But just know that one day, you will be able to come to terms with all of this and realize how much better you are off without him. And you will look back and laugh at his stuff spread out all over the front lawn. 10 years later, it still brings a smile to my face when I think about rolling his $150.00 Bowling Balls (2 of them) down the street. At the time I was crushed..but now Ive come back better and stronger. You will too!
  • BADGIRLstl
    BADGIRLstl Posts: 473 Member
    WOW!!!! I know what you did probably wasn't the BEST way to handle it....but I know it sure did FEEL good! I say he gets whatever is coming to him....who cares what and how he feels...he obvisously doesn't give a F#@%!!!! He had broken the trust and has taken the purity out of you alls relationship! Pray about it...and i pray that your mind is regulated and that you have peace......
  • Oompa_Loompa
    Oompa_Loompa Posts: 1,099 Member
    YOU GO!!! DONT LET ANYONE SAY YOUR VINDICTIVE who the hell cares. He deserves it. UGHHHH what an *kitten*!!!!!!
  • jenng38
    jenng38 Posts: 105
    I second that eApps. Let people say whatever they want about you it is HIS behavior that brought him embarrassment. TRUST me I have heard of women doing a lot worse than throwing their ex's belongings on the front lawn and taking a picture. good for you. take your power back! don't let anyone make you feel bad for anything!!!!! and you do totally ROCK!!
  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
    :flowerforyou:

    Prayers for ya.
  • Sunsh1ne
    Sunsh1ne Posts: 879 Member
    You are a strong woman, and if some people misinterpret that as vindictive, don't let it bother you. Keep standing up for yourself. Don't settle for a relationship that hurts you. You deserve so much better than you have recieved, and he deserves much, much worse. :big hugs:
  • Laura80111
    Laura80111 Posts: 958 Member
    :brokenheart: My heart hurts for you. Hang in there, you deserve better and you have lots of support here. {{{:flowerforyou: }}}hugs to you!
  • okremix
    okremix Posts: 38 Member
    Girl if I could I would have been there to help ya chunck it over! Me and my ex husband were together since we were 13 and 7 years later right after I had our son I walked in on him cheating with one of our towns wonderful bartenders...needless to say he didn't want to end the relationship and he is now married to her. I can't tell you what we did to his and her stuuf when I came to move out (she had already moved in) because it was so horrible. Do not let anyone make you out to be the bad guy. He did the worst possible thing he could to break your heart and you have to cut yourself some slack. You're not crazy for dreaming about killing him and you not dumb because you still love him at the same time. You got to let yourself grieve him. Your relationship did die and that's what it will feel like and worse because you have to watch him move on with his life like you never mattered. So get mad and act all crazy. It really does help. I would be worried if he hurt you that bad and you didn't. Being emotional because you loved someone so much is never wrong. If you ever need to talk just message me. I promise I can make you laugh!
  • jojo52610
    jojo52610 Posts: 692 Member
    Your'e not vindictive you are hurt and angry (rightly so) so whomever is saying that needs to just get a grip.
  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403 Member
    dammit - i let myself get hurt again by this! i based my new found strength on a false hope that we would be together again.
  • Iceprincessk25
    Iceprincessk25 Posts: 1,888 Member
    dammit - i let myself get hurt again by this! i based my new found strength on a false hope that we would be together again.
    [/quote

    Honey I think you should stop all communication with him. He obviously isn't treating you the way that he should. Let the lawyers do the talking. Ignore Ignore Ignore him. Don't give him the satisfaction.
  • pannellkat
    pannellkat Posts: 709 Member
    To the left, to the left....everything you own in the box to the left!
  • leeslim4life
    leeslim4life Posts: 371 Member
    I am afraid I am back where I started. I had so much hope I was riding on. I had actually asked him to move back in yesterday so we could work on it.

    What was his response to this?
    You are so much better than this, I think you should pray on it and leave it in God's hands!!!
    Asking him to move back in, why?
    Did you put back the $$$ in his account?

    I will definitely keep you in my prayers and hope all works out for the best!!
    Keep your head up!!!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    To the left, to the left....everything you own in the box to the left!

    That's right!!!


    You are not vindictive.
    Vindictive would be keying his car, keying that girl's car, putting flyers up at the high school where he works, etc.

    Tossing his crap on the front lawn? That was DESERVED.

    Taking money from the account? *shrug* Joint Money. Who cares?

    Toss him into the garbage where he belongs. I'm GLAD his collegues know. If he wasn't ashamed of what he was doing, if it wasn't WRONG, then he wouldn't care if his fellow teachers knew. I hope the kids at the high school find out too and make life hell for him and her both.

    Don't let him tell you how you are acting. He is a self-centered jerk. Do not talk to him anymore. Cut communication with him. Refuse his emails, refuse his phone calls, refuse his texts. When I blocked my ex from my FB account, I felt freedom. No longer was he able to make me feel guilty for living my life without him and not being crushed.... by what he had done.

    Do not let that worthless POS bring you down. You have done NOTHING wrong. He is trash.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    DO YOU HAVE AN ATTORNEY YET???
    If not, GET ONE TODAY.
    I mean it. Protect yourself financially NOW.
  • KendalBeee
    KendalBeee Posts: 2,269 Member
    AGREED WITH PR!
  • sabes2631
    sabes2631 Posts: 403 Member
    i do. and apparently he did too since he turned mean all of a sudden.
    he is furious with me - accusing me of ruining him professionally and personally because it got out in his high school where he teaches after i posted a pic on facebook of his stuff on the lawn.
    i took the pic down, but all of a sudden i am THE VILLIAN.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
    You wouldn't have a reason to be vindictive if he wasn't being such a dumb@ss (btw, you're not vindictive at all, you're doing a hell of a lot better than I was when I was at that point in my life- I chased him and his other woman out of my front yard with a baseball bat). You CAN rise above this- don't let his actions dictate the way the rest of your life goes. Even if he isn't on your side, there are a ton of people here that are.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    i do. and apparently he did too since he turned mean all of a sudden.
    he is furious with me - accusing me of ruining him professionally and personally because it got out in his high school where he teaches after i posted a pic on facebook of his stuff on the lawn.
    i took the pic down, but all of a sudden i am THE VILLIAN.

    Well obviously HE can't be the bad guy! All he did was cheat on his wife and continue to cheat even as you mercifully asked to try to fix the broken marriage. He is the good guy in all this, any one can see. *ROLLS EYES*

    All you did was post a picture of his stuff on the lawn? That is MILD. You didn't ruin him professionally -- HE RUINED HIMSELF.

    You didn't seek out people to tell what is going on. They found YOUR pic and put it all together. You didn't do anything wrong.

    You are not a villan and don't you are allow him to make you feel like one. The next time he says anything to you (although you should refuse to talk to him), remain calm and cool and laugh in his face.

    Do you have a sister? A best friend even? Place your situation upon them --- what would you tell your sister or best friend to do in this situation? What would you encourage them to do? How would you feel is all they did was toss his stuff on the lawn and post a pic? Harmless in the grand scheme of what many women do, right?
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