at what age....?

My children didn't start walking by themselves until 10. Their school is almost a mile away and they always walked as a group.

All of my kids are in bed by 9:00 PM on school nights no questions asked.

Legally kids cannot be left alone until age 12 or 13 I think.

The right age purely depends on the child themselves, some are more responsible than others at a certain age. So depends on when you feel they are ready to take on those things.

Walking to school or riding their bike depends on the time of the day and who they're with. Being in a group certainly makes a difference. However 5 and 6 is too young in my opinion.

As for the bed time, I think asking for your doctor's opinion would be best. And depends on whether they are getting enough sleep overall.

My son has been asking for things like this. He wants to walk home from the bus stop alone and he wanted to stay in the house alone while my husband was running on the school track which is right behind the house and I was running to the grocery store. He's 6 so those are both an obvious "No" for us. As far as walking or riding bikes to school, in your situation I think that maybe by 3rd or 4th grade they could do that. Staying home alone...ugh...my sister and I did for 15 minutes a day when she was 9 and I was 7, but I don't think I could do that now. I think maybe when the older one is 12/13.

As far as bedtime goes, you know how much sleep your kids need and what works for you. My son does not require tons of sleep so he gets in bed at 9. I read him a story then snuggle for a few minutes, so he's probably not asleep until 9:30. With this bedtime, he is up by 6:45 so if he went to bed any earlier I would probably be crying my eyes out in the morning when he would want to wake up!

My kids were about 12.5 and 10 when I started leaving them home alone for short periods. They were young but they are very responsible kids, they get along well and the neighbours were around. I think it really depends on the kids. I know some kids that I would never leave on their own - doesn't matter how old they are. My kids are now 15 and 13 and they still don't like to be left alone at night. They won't go to sleep until we're home.

The walking to school depends on the situation. I think closer to 10 would be more comfortable for me but we live near some busy streets and forested areas with lots of wildlife and homeless people.

I'm a bedtime nazi. It was 8:30 until my eldest was about 13 then it was 9-9:30. This summer the kids have battled for a 10 o'clock bedtime but I'm not happy about it. They are homeschooled so they can sleep in but It seems like they are always tired.

Trust your gut. You know your kids and your situation best.

Can't help on the bike riding/playing outside, as I was walking to school nearly a mile by myself at that age. (Apparently the 70s was like a different planet. )

You have to base bedtime on what allows YOUR children to get sufficient rest. When I was your daughters' age, I was in bed at 8PM. My parents were very firm on bedtimes.

Home alone-well, they're together, which actually makes it worse as they can talk each other into mischief. If you don't think they are responsible enough to babysit someone else's kids, I wouldn't leave the home alone.

The reason I am so confused by the walking/riding to school thing is because there are about 5 or 6 other little girls on our block that walk/ride together, ages 5, 6, 8, 6, and 10. I always either walk with my kids or drive them, and they don't understand why I'm so scared to let them go without me. We live in a very safe neighborhood, my husband is in the military and though we don't live on post, majority of our neighbors are either current or former military.

The world has changed a lot since I was a kid. 80% of the moms were home all day in my neighborhood, people didn't move as frequently so we all knew each others' families (and were at least as scared of disobeying the neighbors as our own parents), etc. It really was different.

Maybe you can hit a compromise on the playing outside in a group, where they are allowed but still have geographical boundaries. For example, we were allowed to play outside only on our block if our parents were in the house. Basically, in earshot (it was a small block). Had to come inside when the street lights came on (before we were reliable with a watch). Maybe there's a comfort zone compromise?

My daughter is 7 and stays up until 9pm (school night) 10pm(weekends, depending on how she done in school that week)
Bike to school= probably never (too far)
home alone= teenage, probably 13/14.
I rode my bike and walked to school but I lived so close, you could throw a rock and break a window. I had a 8:30 bedtime in grade school, 9pm in middle and 10 in high school. I was 1st left alone(completely) @ the age of 16 (my grandfather lived with us and has medical conditions, so he rarely left the house). He passed away when I was 16.

Walking or riding bike to school with a group of older kids depends on your own comfort level. We went to daycare and the daycare lady had us walk to and from school (also just a little over a mile). The older kids 3rd through 5th grade had a responsibility to make sure that the younger ones made it to class and were to pick the kids up from the classroom before we left (So it worked on a buddy system).

Bedtime in our home was very lax. We had to be in bed no later then 10pm but anytime before then we could choose when to go to bed. The only condition was if we missbehaved, seemed tired or irritated bedtime was at 8pm no questions or excuses for a week and we could stay up in half hour increments each week until we reached 10 again.

As for staying at home alone. I stayed at home alone for 2-4 hours starting in kindergarden. My other siblings were not allowed to do so however. I was also the odd child who would sit down at the kids folding table with a jar of pickles and page through a picture book. My grandfather told me later that he found me in that position 9x out of 10 when he would come and get me because my parents were still at work.

I know the first and the last part contridict each other but I did not start daycare until I was in the second grade (my parents switched school districts and the only way for me to attend was to have a place to go after school since the bus did not go that far).

My son is 8. The only thing he has ever done alone is go into 7-11 while I waited in the car to buy his teacher a candy bar for teacher appreciation. (his idea-too cute). I can't imagine he will walk anywhere alone (which will mean with a friend) until he is 10-11. That will be a short trip to the store or something or take a bike ride around the neighborhood.

He goes to bed on school nights 8-8:30. He needs sleep and loves sleep. On the weekends he goes between 9-10:30. Last night was 10 and he is still asleep at 10:30. :laugh: That's the good life!

I imagine I will let him be home alone for *short periods* at 11-12.

It's so hard to let them grow up sometimes! The world is a different place these days IMO. I was out and about alone at a very young age.

Ok before I get started I believe my children are too young for any of the situations I'm about to mention but I would like a general guide line as to when you aloud your children to do such things. They are 5 & 6, both girls.

My oldest continuously asks me if her and her sister can either walk to school or ride their bike, the school is about a mile give or take from our house, not by any major streets and in a safe neighbor hood. What age is the right age to do this? Does it make a difference if they are in a group?

Also as for bed time I have it set at 8:30 which I feel is very generous for their age, but the neighbor girls (same age as my kids) are often still playing outside at this time....

Last thing my daughters are obviously way too young now but I'm wondering at what age is ok for them to be home alone for short periods of time?

I'm in no rush to do any of these thinga, I'm actually the opposite and often find myself "babying" them. So any advice from other moms is greatly appreciated!!

wow.. you're generous with bedtime! My kids had 8 until they were 8, then it was 8:30 10'ish. they were soo cranky otherwise and my sanity was being tested.

Do you have time to watch them? maybe you could straggle 1/2 block behind except when crossing streets? I wouldn't let them ride bikes along at that age, though. I walked with my brother since kindergarten, and he was almost 2 years older. Though, not a whole lot of good things can be said about my mom's parenting, but we were fine. It was the 70s, though. You didn't have the internet telling us every day of all the bad things happening. Getting kidnapped is actually statistically low. You should also take this time to drill your kids on pedestrian safety and how to deal with strangers.
What I taught my kids; where to go for help if something happens. Look for a house that has toys out front. Never a messy messy yard with out toys. That you yell fire, not help. to walk facing traffic and far from the curb. (with out trampling other people's lawns) That you say hello & make eye contact to every nice person walking by. (If something happens they will remember you, possibly help you if need be) Be aware of your surroundings at all times. I think long ago I taught my kids that the rear lights pop out from the inside. you never know! (We lived in the city at the time, but they never went anywhere with out me, you just never know! Malls can be a krazy place!) Since they're practically begging, I would suggest a few lessons in safety and walk with them for a couple weeks (if you can) and then straggle. By Nov. It'll be too cold to walk anyway. **Huge difference in a group, but get to know the group, some of the younger ones will get teased.

Your kids need to learn now that just because another parent doesn't something one way doesn't mean you will "But suzy's mom...!"

Since your kids are young, I will give just kind of expand on parenting things that have worked wonders with my daughters.
your kids will be coming home with awkward questions. Try not to cringe, but answer honestly and openly. You can do it on their level, but have the conversation in a manner that they will feel comfortable in talking to you with everything and not feel embarrassed or any of that. Start a fall tradition when the leaves change. It's just far enough into the school year that you will want to know more about the friend dynamics and how that is going. A car ride is the perfect time to do this and if done right, opens up a lot of dialogue opportunities. My oldest is in her 1st year of college and the youngest started 11th grade, so I promised them we would go further up the river this year and they're happy about it. when my youngest was a freshman, there was some serious stuff going on at school so we had a 2nd car ride... ended up at an old diner for dinner. By the time we got back we were able to knock some sense into her and all was close to being resolved. Trust doesn't happen over night. and they don't exactly notice when you grip the steering wheel a bit harder, hehe. Daughters are not easy so good luck!

as for leaving them home alone, it's different for every kid along with the law.