Bad comments and opinions

NewAngel35
NewAngel35 Posts: 182 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have only been on here a couple of days and I am already thinking of leaving. I have seen many opinions and comments...are we not hear to support each other and help where we can. if someone wants to achieve a certain goal it is not our biz to grill them or make them feel bad ...peoples image can be a very touchy subject..and I dont think its our right to destroy someone elses hopes or aspirations.I believe we should only ask why in a private conversation or tactfully...if we think they may be doing something that is bad for their health. Some of the comments I have read are not on and very *****y or derogatory...lighten up people if you dont have experiance with something dont flippin comment this aint FB!!! help not hinder!!!
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    This rant won't change anything.

    If you don't want opinions contrary to your own, don't ask an Internet Forum. Or any other human, for that matter.


  • sandhillsmom
    sandhillsmom Posts: 319 Member
    Like FB, there are people who seem to thrive on being the "one with the knowledge" I've seen some comments that make me think twice about posting. I post on things that I do know about. If someone decides to tear my post apart for whatever reason, I just hang on to the fact I know I I am talking about for me. What works for me may not work for anyone else. and that is okay by me. If an opinion comes along I don't agree with, I just keep on going. I show support when I can and keep the nasty attitude to zero on my end.

    Hang in there. There are lots of supportive people on here. Build a small group of friends with similar goals and interests and the experience of being here is great.
  • getitamb
    getitamb Posts: 2,019 Member
    Yeah I feel that. I keep my opimions to myself and focus on the positives./ I wouldn't let other people's negativity deter you from something if you really like it.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I won't lie or tell you a series of exercise that I know wont help you or anyone achieve their goals......if that is being ****ty....well so be it but I am backed by science. I would not want to lose my time and won't make you lose yours.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,282 Member
    I get my support from my MFP "friends" . You do the ssame and you will be happy. :bigsmile:
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
    I won't lie or tell you a series of exercise that I know wont help you or anyone achieve their goals......if that is being ****ty....well so be it but I am backed by science. I would not want to lose my time and won't make you lose yours.

    This means you're correct, but still an a-hole. She's saying to use some tact when presenting fact.

    Edit: Poetry unintended.
  • CarmenLynn75
    CarmenLynn75 Posts: 118 Member
    ..sometime I wonder if a post will get taken wrong due to language, puncuation, lack of tone of voice, skepticism, critical ppl, judgement, low self esteem by others..and I could go on.
    But quite honestly, I need the same kick in the pants once in a while and if it comes from genuine humanitarian concern and love for mother natures people and life- then take it as is. Or if you must burden yourself with crap- as you want.


    ..sorry.. but could be coming out from relationship 'fun' atm.. lol.. goin fishin
  • Bugg207
    Bugg207 Posts: 13 Member
    I agree with you for what its worth. People have the idea in their heads that being an *kitten* is ok, and to tear people down, especailly when they are asking for help. The first person to reply proved that. There are good people on here, you just have to filter through the douche.
  • lilpenguin
    lilpenguin Posts: 14 Member
    Any where you go you'll always run into people w/ bad attitudes or know it all's. Just take it w/ a grain of salt and ignore it. They usually have some underlying issues of their own that cause this. Although some ppl on here do know
    what they're talking about so listen to them :)
  • BetterCrazyThanLazy
    BetterCrazyThanLazy Posts: 336
    Less time in forums might be the solution for you. :wink:

    I use MFP mostly to track my progress and log in my meals. If you don't like comments - use Google and sort through the info to get the best decision you can for yourself. I have been on the site for over a year and I hardly post. If I don't like the thread I leave it without getting in the middle.
  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
    A lot of us try to be friendly and helpful but not all of us and even the best have bad days. Tis is the Internet.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I would have to see examples of what you are referring to, but generally speaking, when people post about things that aren't effective, this community has a responsibility to correct them. It isn't just for the person making the post - it is also for the numerous others who are new and simply reading the threads.

    It isn't bad, in my opinion. It is a kindness. When people try all kinds of ineffective approaches and don't see results, they may eventually give up. Preventing their failure is a positive thing.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I hope you stick around and decide to seek out truthful information. There is a lot of really good info here, and people willing to share their knowledge. It is the Internet, after all, and it's a bit like stepping into a gigantic elevator filled with people from all over the world, with all kinds of experience and personalities. If you're shy or very sensitive, you might just listen to some of the conversations for awhile.

    If you want to ask a specific question, be prepared for lots of different answers. Because there is are so many different people, the ways in which someone agrees or disagrees with you may be very different than what you are used to. If someone is rude to you, know that there are SO MANY people here that you can ignore the rudeness and not feel ANY LOSS AT ALL. That's the magic - you get to choose. If you are bothered by seeing posts that seem rude - even when not directed at you, you might want to stay away from the forums for awhile and focus on setting up MFP for you, browsing specific groups on MFP that more closely match your interests.

    There are probably 5-10 posts like yours a week, maybe more. That doesn't discount your reasoning, or your feelings, or even the validity of your points. But it does say something about the efficacy of posts like these. MFP is actually pretty tame compared to most Internet forums that are open to a large variety of people. What some people call rude, others call honesty. That is unlikely to change.

    But you can still use MFP to make some healthy changes in your life. Good luck.
  • DollyMiel
    DollyMiel Posts: 377 Member
    Unfortunately that's probably just how it'll be and there's nothing you or I can do about it.

    A lot of MFPers are determined to show off how right they are even if they're not, and even when they are, they don't go about it in the most tactful of ways. I've been here a while but that's because I'm used to forums (you get a thick skin), and I definitely have to say MFP is one of the cruelest groups I've run across in a lot of ways. They see questions a million times and forget that the people coming in to ask them probably haven't experienced such things before, so they all pile on telling the poster what a fkn idiot they are and how dare they come in here being a moron! And the pathetic part was that they were probably one of those people when they started out, too.

    It's kind of sad, but at the same time, remember there are still a lot of nice and encouraging people around. Try looking for groups or just selectively adding friends who ARE those kinds of people. They do exist, I promise.

    Edit: the above poster summed up my thoughts in a much more eloquent way. Definitely agree. Don't let it give you pause, OP, or discourage you.
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    I have only been on here a couple of days and I am already thinking of leaving. I have seen many opinions and comments...are we not hear to support each other and help where we can.

    Why did you join in the first place? I joined so I could track my food. You can do that without reading any comments or opinions - it's just an app on your phone. That is the main purpose of the site, and what the vast majority of members do. The forums are just an additional thing, which a small minority of vocal users use. As with any forums, you'll get a range of personality types and attitudes. But you also have a profile page and a feed, and you can add people you click with, so if you need interaction but don't like the forums, just find yourself some supportive friends and interact with them on your feed.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    I hope you stick around and decide to seek out truthful information. There is a lot of really good info here, and people willing to share their knowledge. It is the Internet, after all, and it's a bit like stepping into a gigantic elevator filled with people from all over the world, with all kinds of experience and personalities. If you're shy or very sensitive, you might just listen to some of the conversations for awhile.

    If you want to ask a specific question, be prepared for lots of different answers. Because there is are so many different people, the ways in which someone agrees or disagrees with you may be very different than what you are used to. If someone is rude to you, know that there are SO MANY people here that you can ignore the rudeness and not feel ANY LOSS AT ALL. That's the magic - you get to choose. If you are bothered by seeing posts that seem rude - even when not directed at you, you might want to stay away from the forums for awhile and focus on setting up MFP for you, browsing specific groups on MFP that more closely match your interests.

    There are probably 5-10 posts like yours a week, maybe more. That doesn't discount your reasoning, or your feelings, or even the validity of your points. But it does say something about the efficacy of posts like these. MFP is actually pretty tame compared to most Internet forums that are open to a large variety of people. What some people call rude, others call honesty. That is unlikely to change.

    But you can still use MFP to make some healthy changes in your life. Good luck.

    Yup. This.
  • callipso
    callipso Posts: 5
    This rant won't change anything.

    If you don't want opinions contrary to your own, don't ask an Internet Forum. Or any other human, for that matter.




    ^ This. If you only mean posts that are downright insulting, why not just report them? But from how you go about explaining your issues, it seems anything resembling an actual discussion may offend you. What's the point of posting on the forum if you don't want to hear anything you might not like? You can just as well type to yourself if you already know what you want to read.

    Also, for someone who claims to be such a nice person, you're pretty good at putting others down and setting people against each other. I want to learn, and ~90% percent of postings here seem like sweet and entirely meaningless spam to me, only making it harder to find actual content. I don't make threads to ***** about it, however. Should I?
  • x_JT_x
    x_JT_x Posts: 364
    Sadly, it's the nature of the game. When you get such a mass congregation of people in one place there are always going to be those with stronger personalities and those with weaker ones. Folks who don't care what they say and how they say it, those who recoil at the first hint of criticism and every level in between. Add in the fact that this site revolves around a subject that is sensitive in nature to most people and there's going to be hurt feelings here and there. It's unavoidable. You aren't going to change one another's personalities. A very wise man once told me 'You can't always control the situation you find yourself in, but you CAN control how you react to it.'

    Like water off a duck's back folks...let it roll.
  • westie007
    westie007 Posts: 27 Member
    Hi, as a fellow Aberdonian fit like. I suggest you use MPF to monitor your eating and excercise in the 1st instance and choose what you want to read. Sit back and enjoy. After a wee while you decide who you want to befriend and who is on the same wave length as you. I don't have a great deal of time to trawl though the community, but the folks I have as friends are very nice people. Take care and enjoy. :smile:
  • NewAngel35
    NewAngel35 Posts: 182 Member
    Thanks to the people that are encouraging..I just needed to say it..I get that people will have different opinions ..yet there are ways of delivering them.My fitness pal..not my fitness no-it-all..spit in ya face etc etc.there are ways of debating and ways of crushing someone..anyway I feel better for getting it out :)...I just like to get on with people help if i can...but who am i to tell you what you want to be..!!!!enjoy whats rest of the weekend.!
  • NewAngel35
    NewAngel35 Posts: 182 Member
    oh yeh opinions are one thing being a prick is another
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
    I don't understand posts like this. If you don't like the forums don't use them. Seems very simple to me?
  • tdcibilly
    tdcibilly Posts: 78
    i am here to lose weight and try to support people who are doing the same enloy to ride lighten up as stress can kill too.
    p.s i am add me if you need support from time to time
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
    So this is about as big an a-hole as I'll probably ever be here.
    Thanks to the people that are encouraging. I just needed to say it. I get that people will have different opinions, yet there are more appropriate ways of delivering them. It's called "My fitness pal' not "My Fitness Know-t-All, I spit in your face". There are ways of debating and ways of crushing someone. Anyway, I feel better for at least getting it out. :smile: I would just like to help, and get help from people, if i can. But who am I to tell you what to do? Please enjoy what's left of the weekend.!

    Fixed.

    (Sorry Angel, but I know people have been cringing looking at your grammar. It is less than stellar, but we understand what you're saying. Remember that you're a beautiful person.)
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    I won't lie or tell you a series of exercise that I know wont help you or anyone achieve their goals......if that is being ****ty....well so be it but I am backed by science. I would not want to lose my time and won't make you lose yours.

    This means you're correct, but still an a-hole. She's saying to use some tact when presenting fact.

    Edit: Poetry unintended.

    That was tactful, in your head, was it?
  • NewAngel35
    NewAngel35 Posts: 182 Member
    I need to make myself clear....I was not talking about stuff said to me!!!! .......
  • danne32339
    danne32339 Posts: 155 Member
    No matter where you go or what group you join there will always be negative people or people who think they know more than everyone else. But for the most part I have found people to be very willing to help me answer questions and most are positive.
    Good luck. Feel free to add me to your friend list.
    Take care,
    Doni
  • HurricaneElaine
    HurricaneElaine Posts: 984 Member
    Please don't leave MFP just because of a handful of jerks who are less than tactful in their posts. This is a really great site with a LOT of nice people who are supportive. :flowerforyou:
  • aakaakaak
    aakaakaak Posts: 1,240 Member
    I won't lie or tell you a series of exercise that I know wont help you or anyone achieve their goals......if that is being ****ty....well so be it but I am backed by science. I would not want to lose my time and won't make you lose yours.

    This means you're correct, but still an a-hole. She's saying to use some tact when presenting fact.

    Edit: Poetry unintended.

    That was tactful, in your head, was it?

    Yeah, I know. Not very tactful. :ohwell: The phrase was just sitting there, waiting to be said. Do I let it go and repress the urge? I could get cancer repressing urges that way! :smokin:
  • LADYDEBORAH1984
    LADYDEBORAH1984 Posts: 64 Member
    the joys of a forum.............if it helps, every forum i'm on has its grumpy and tantrum prone peeps. And the trolls, oh the trolls who just wait to pounce on the innocent!!! be happy and add the nice peeps to your friends who will encourage you, you can add me if you so fancy xxxx
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