Second attempt at MFP. Here's my struggle:

rtwfitness
rtwfitness Posts: 4 Member
in Introduce Yourself
26/F reporting in. I joined in October of last year and went from 167 to 158 by end of December. Unfortunately, my relationship with my boyfriend deteriorated soon there after and I never logged back on. Over the summer I was about 154 but I gained 10 lbs in the past 2 months and now I'm at 165. When I saw that it was almost back to my starting weight (the most recent heaviest point was 172 around Dec. 2010, lightest at 145 Dec 2005) I started crying.

I made a new account so I don't lose track of my objective: I want to get fit before I go on my RTW trip!! ('round the world)!

I think I want to get back to 158 before I go back to my old account (as I made some nice friends on here).

I'm going to be frank: I used to do drugs, and I call 145 my "drug skinny" because I've been overweight my entire life (about 180 in 8th grade), and for a brief moment i looked great in spite of myself. Obviously when I sobered up, all the weight came back rapidly and I've had a hard ime getting it down again because it came off with no effort at 18 in college with bad habits.

My goal is to get lower than 145 so I can prove to myself that it can be done and it will be rewarding. I am 5 years sober and i haven't smoked a cigarette in 7 months so the time is now! I also want to inspire one of my estranged friends who continues to spiral in the dangerous lifestyle because she saw everyone get fat who sobered up. I want to show her that a healthy lifestyle is beautiful and rewarding (and cheaper and less dangerous).

It's hard because I am so proud of what I've accomplished since turning my life around, but I hate looking at myself. When I see photos of myself I feel so upset, especially at older ones during that stint. I don't want to look at a photo of me under the influence and think "damn I looked great!", I want to think "Never again!"

I want my pride to be visible. If I can overcome addiction, I should be able to lose weight, right?

Honestly, this is way harder for me than quitting drugs or cigarettes, but this only makes my motivation to succeed that much stronger. Hopefully my will and determination stays consistent this time. Thanks for reading

Replies

  • wantinganewview
    wantinganewview Posts: 27
    Hi, it sounds like you have accomplished a lot! You can accomplish your weight loss goals too. Feel free to add me if you'd like a pal for support.:smile:
  • lose3stone
    lose3stone Posts: 76 Member
    You can and will succeed..... good luck and feel free to add me x
  • kiangel
    kiangel Posts: 246 Member
    You can do it !!
  • SpringFever19
    SpringFever19 Posts: 180 Member
    We are here for you- not only is your upcoming trip a great motivator- but everything you have been through shows you how strong you can be when you want to and are ready to. Now's the time!
  • JoDeeD
    JoDeeD Posts: 391
    You are amazing! You have pulled yourself out of the hole and will do it again on here with your weight! Feel free to add me.
  • Dragonldy69
    Dragonldy69 Posts: 368 Member
    :flowerforyou: Welcome back.. You can do it.. Add me if you wish.. :drinker:
  • SheilaN1976
    SheilaN1976 Posts: 266 Member
    amazing story! congrats on being clean for so long! great job! keep it up! you can do this!!!!!
  • jensfitpal2012
    jensfitpal2012 Posts: 145 Member
    :flowerforyou: Don't get discouraged, YOU CAN DO THIS!! When I read all that you have been through, I thought, what a strong person. Beating an addiction is not easy,the only way someone can do that is by taking one day at a time,and thinking about what you want for your future,not what was in the past.Take this healthy living and exercise program one day at a time,don't focus so much on how you look yet,but how you feel.I BELIEVE IN YOU.BELIEVE IN YOURSELF<YOU CAN DO THIS<YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!!:flowerforyou:Feel free to add me if you wish.
  • Marie31450
    Marie31450 Posts: 96 Member
    Good for you for overcoming your addiction! Just remember to keep it in the day and change your eating habits "one day at a time"!
  • mom22qties
    mom22qties Posts: 47
    Feel free to add me. The more support the better!!
  • swmann
    swmann Posts: 14
    Best of luck to you. Feel free to add me. Thanks.
  • flyingcarbaccio
    flyingcarbaccio Posts: 92 Member
    You can definitely do this! I was on diet pills for ten years, a smoker and had a strong caffeine addiction. I was terrified of giving up the diet pills and smoking and everything I read pretty much told me to expect to gain weight. I lost 25lbs so far. Quitting drugs and cigarettes for you is only the first step to a long and healthy life! Please feel free to add me as a friend.
  • wgn4166
    wgn4166 Posts: 771 Member
    I am very proud of you for giving up the drugs. You can do this and we will help you!!! Good luck on this journey!
  • HealthylivingTIG
    HealthylivingTIG Posts: 174 Member
    Hey You,

    Welcome back to MFP. Please add me as a friend if you are interested in partnering to tackle weight loss. From reading your post, losing weight will be a challenge you can handle. Your determination to change your life, is obvious. Congratulations on your 5 years of sobriety and for kicking cigarettes in the butt. You can do this. One pound at a time. Best of luck.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    you've done so much to turn your life around--congratulations! and ome back to MFP! i have no doubt that you will accomplish a lot here too--it's just going to take time. thank you so much for your post. that takes courage. i, too, am a little over 5 years sober!
  • kimbux
    kimbux Posts: 154 Member
    You have already accomplished so much by being sober. You will be successful at this as well!
  • da1dasani
    da1dasani Posts: 3 Member
    First, welcome back! I am amazed at your tenacity and drive to get clean and STAY clean, that is amazing!

    I too lost a lot of weight and then it creeped back on and I agree with you, it is sooo frustrating to see. My biggest step to get back to losing weight, getting healthy and staying motivated has been to first deal with the image I have of myself regardless of what I weigh. One thing I read that really helped was 'I'm not fat, I have fat but I'm working hard everyday to get rid of it!'

    You can do this! A RTW is an amazing thing to work towards. You got this!

    Check out: http://hasfit.com/exercise-training-motivation-workout-fitness-quotes.html >They have a LOT of motivational mantras, work out videos and diet/lifestyle tips.
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
    Congrats at your continued success at sobriety!! Obviously you have a strong will so Im sure you can accomplish this goal as well. I wish you the best of luck!!

    ....and so jealous of your upcoming trip! Have a blast!
  • MsMartyMac
    MsMartyMac Posts: 33
    You are a success!!! You have overcome one form of addiction and now YOU WILL overcome this one as well. Those of us with addictive personalities understand all too well where you are coming from and can empathize with the struggle. I too was very proud of my accomplishment at losing 85 pounds nearly four years ago. It was a long struggle that took almost a year and it too has slowly but surely crept it's way back into my life. Like you I am disgusted that I have let myself down by giving up the fight and letting old habits slip back in to daily routine. I like you, was happiest at 145 and have now found myself back at 165-170. Not happy. I have no one to blame but myself (that and a change of job, change of eating habits, kids leaving home, and started adding certain things -margaritas-back into my diet.) I appreciate your candor and look forward to running this race with you.
  • DeniseBarone
    DeniseBarone Posts: 80 Member
    Your weight loss goal is the same as mine. For the longest time I thought I'd never break 160. I weighed in at 160 on the day I had total hip replacement surgery, and something interesting happened to me during the recovery. Because I knew I couldn't engage in my usual over-exercising, I paid very close attention to portions. I ate carrots and raw fruit for snacks, drank lots of tea. And I gave myself tiny portions of food at meal times. Try that. It will be hard at first, but you will learn to accept portion control, especially as your weight drops.
  • gc_tweety
    gc_tweety Posts: 205 Member
    You know the drill: one day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time and now one bite and push up at a time. You have accomplished so much already and you need to acknowledge that and keep moving onward and upward. Congratulations on the changes and the goals. And thanks for you honesty, I"m sure there will be people who will benefit tremendously from your victories.
  • MarcoRod
    MarcoRod Posts: 150 Member
    Congrats on your determination to maintain a clean/sober lifestyle. I don't see the purpose in having 2 MFP accounts. There is nothing you should be ashamed of. Many of us have have all started, stopped, cheated, failed, embarrassed ourselves and that's what makes success that much sweeter.
  • rtwfitness
    rtwfitness Posts: 4 Member
    Thank you everyone for your support!! :) I remember why i loved this place in the first place
  • banks89202
    banks89202 Posts: 270
    Good job!! You can add me if you would like :D
  • viccigb
    viccigb Posts: 93 Member
    Wow, you've overcome so much already!!! Kodos to you as well for trying to help your friend. Good luck!!

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