Anyone criticised for exercising?

She's insecure. You're already slim, and the better you look, the worse she does standing next to you. Get her doing more with you if you're good friends.

Hi everyone - I just wanted to gather a few opinions.

I am 34, 5'7, a size UK 10 and 10 stone 5 lbs at last weigh in. I've never been what I would consider big, although I was a size UK 18 after my 3rd child. The divorce diet worked wonders and I did lose 2 stone, purely from stress.

However, at the start of this year, I decided to do it right and tone up and get fit and healthy. So I started with a few home workout dvds, moved onto Jillian Michaels and then discovered Insanity. By that point, exercise was a daily, regular thing which I enjoyed.

But....my friend, who is 26 stone, had a go at me this weekend, saying I should just give it up, why was I doing it, what was the point? She said I clearly only wanted to make my ex husband jealous (fair point, doing a "look what you've lost!" is pretty good motivation!) and now that I'd achieved that I should just get a life! I also got that I didn't need to do any exercise, because I am already slim. She made me feel really stupid.

Has anyone else had this from people who just don't get it? I mean, I'm not obsessive, I eat plenty (mostly the wrong stuff!) and I'm not trying to lose weight in any case as I have hit my target. Why are people so negative? Jealousy?

Or she may in fact be genuinely concerned about you, she may feel that you’ve up’d your exercise too much, or are not eating enough to fuel your body; she may see things that you are unwilling to see, like exercising everyday without a break/day off.

Just by you mentioning her weight you’ve switched her from being a concerned friend to an envious naysayer. Look into your lifestyle change and see it from an outsider’s point of view.

“I did lose 2 stone, purely from stress.”

“So I started with a few home workout dvds, moved onto Jillian Michaels and then discovered Insanity. By that point, exercise was a daily, regular thing which I enjoyed.”

So you were so stressed that you lost 20% of your body weight
And now even though you are slim you’re pushing yourself to exercise every day.

Everyone especially those who are quick to jump and shout envy/jealousy, should stop channelling their own insecurities and emotions and think before posting.
As someone who has watched a once healthy person destroy their life through not eating and exercising daily, I’m not one to judge to harshly the reaction of someone who. unlike me, took the time to mention their concerns.

I’m not saying you are doing too much I’m just raising the possibility that someone who is overweight still cares enough about you to mention that maybe you could be doing too much.
As a friend you might want to reassure her rather than demean and dismiss her.

Hi everyone - I just wanted to gather a few opinions.

I am 34, 5'7, a size UK 10 and 10 stone 5 lbs at last weigh in. I've never been what I would consider big, although I was a size UK 18 after my 3rd child. The divorce diet worked wonders and I did lose 2 stone, purely from stress.

However, at the start of this year, I decided to do it right and tone up and get fit and healthy. So I started with a few home workout dvds, moved onto Jillian Michaels and then discovered Insanity. By that point, exercise was a daily, regular thing which I enjoyed.

But....my friend, who is 26 stone, had a go at me this weekend, saying I should just give it up, why was I doing it, what was the point? She said I clearly only wanted to make my ex husband jealous (fair point, doing a "look what you've lost!" is pretty good motivation!) and now that I'd achieved that I should just get a life! I also got that I didn't need to do any exercise, because I am already slim. She made me feel really stupid.

Has anyone else had this from people who just don't get it? I mean, I'm not obsessive, I eat plenty (mostly the wrong stuff!) and I'm not trying to lose weight in any case as I have hit my target. Why are people so negative? Jealousy?

Or she may in fact be genuinely concerned about you, she may feel that you’ve up’d your exercise too much, or are not eating enough to fuel your body; she may see things that you are unwilling to see, like exercising everyday without a break/day off.

Just by you mentioning her weight you’ve switched her from being a concerned friend to an envious naysayer. Look into your lifestyle change and see it from an outsider’s point of view.

“I did lose 2 stone, purely from stress.”

“So I started with a few home workout dvds, moved onto Jillian Michaels and then discovered Insanity. By that point, exercise was a daily, regular thing which I enjoyed.”

So you were so stressed that you lost 20% of your body weight
And now even though you are slim you’re pushing yourself to exercise every day.

Everyone especially those who are quick to jump and shout envy/jealousy, should stop channelling their own insecurities and emotions and think before posting.
As someone who has watched a once healthy person destroy their life through not eating and exercising daily, I’m not one to judge to harshly the reaction of someone who. unlike me, took the time to mention their concerns.

I’m not saying you are doing too much I’m just raising the possibility that someone who is overweight still cares enough about you to mention that maybe you could be doing too much.
As a friend you might want to reassure her rather than demean and dismiss her.

"I decided to do it right and tone up and get fit and healthy"

"exercise was a daily, regular thing which I enjoyed."

"my friend"... "had a go at me this weekend, saying I should just give it up, why was I doing it, what was the point?"

" I should just get a life! I also got that I didn't need to do any exercise, because I am already slim. She made me feel really stupid."

Yeah, sounds like a concerned and well informed friend to me. I'm still a bit confused considering the OP is a healthy weight and has given no indication of under eating or over exercising in her new approach to her fitness goals.

I've found that some people who don't exercise regularly don't get exercising regularly. I'm not sure whether it's because they're frustrated that they aren't doing it, or they just don't get it because they haven't tried, or they had a bad experience or what. In any event, I've had my share of people laugh off what I'm doing. It's not so much like you're friend where they discourage me, but like - "Okay, you have fun on that run in the morning; I"m going to have another beer tonight and sleep in tomorrow!"

You know it makes you feel better and you're healthier for it

I am constantly having to defend why I exercise! I am not over weight, but I run and cycle almost daily. I love the endorphins, the feeling that I have just done something amazing for my body and my health..It makes me feel awake in the mornings etc.... People always thinking I am obsessed, or trying to be skinny, making aweful comments about wanting to see me eat crap etc..It's upsetting but I have realized over the years that it is most definatly their issues!!! Their insecurities or jealousy!
Keep doing what you are doing and DON'T defend it! You don't have to!!

I hear that one all the time too!!!

that my dear is what a jealous woman says to her friends when she feels helpless. As long as you are eating healthy and maintaining propper work out sheduels and it is not taking over your life, you do what you want. Be proud of yourself and ask her to join you. I would be willing to bet she is not happy with her self, no matter what she says. Maybe if she had a taste of success she would be more supportive.

Exercise is necessary no matter your size. It's good for the bones, heart, lungs, pretty much everything.

I say just don't talk to this particular friend about it and do what you want.

It is surprising how emotive people can be around the topic of exercise. You have clearly stated that you "enjoy" it. Telling you to stop would be like telling somebody who enjoys playing the piano, or watching films or reading to "stop it and get a life".....erm, what is life if you're not doing the things you enjoy?

People are weird. I'm glad you have found something you really enjoy doing with your time. The fact that you keep fit and healthy as a by-product....all the better!

Based on her history of mean comments to you, I wonder why you refer to her as a friend at all. I'd get some distance from her and find some better people to associate with, that are more in tune with your lifestyle.

Some people, although they mean well, just don't know how discouraging their remarks can be. I don't know if you are familiar with the "crab syndrome". A friend of mine, who grew up in an environment of alcohol abuse gave me this analogy. Observe a bucket with numbers of crabs in it. One is trying valiantly to get out, and just as it is about to climb over the edge to freedom, another crab reaches up with its claw and thoughtlessly pulls the hopeful crab back down to the bottom where it starts its weary climb to the top all over again..

When I was trying to quit smoking, it was amazing how often people would offer me a cigarette, even AFTER I informed them that I am trying to quit. The same goes for recovering alcoholics, and those addicted to drugs and other substances. Just as we are about to be freed from our "bondage", someone reaches up and tries to pull us back down. That's why people who are recovering from serious addictions need to move out of their old environment and find new friends.

Of course, instead of being pulled back down, we can attempt to pull them up with us. So be the encourager, or the lifter-upper, not the discouraged one. help her to get over the edge...

As a part time instructor I've recently been criticized for being too fit, so I'm going to start wearing tee shirts instead of my tanks.

I get some back hand compliments basically asking if I do anything aside from hang out in the gym, but I laugh it off because 1) I do this for me and 2) I really only spend on average 1 hour per day in the gym.

If I were you I'd let her know that you considered her concerns and decided that you are doing this for you, you enjoy it, and this lifestyle is your new chosen lifestyle not a temporary solution to an issue. Then invite her to start coming along with you because you'd like to spend more time with her and show her what you see in it.

Your friend is definitely jealous. Exercise has given me a new lease of life not only have I lost 2 stone but I have not has a cough or throat infection all year! (I used to get them evry 8 weeks or so). Another benefit to exercise is the effect it has on your mental health. I have always suffered with anxiety and the threat of recurring depression. I have two children with special needs and can spend alot of time worrying about the future. Exercising for an hour 5 times a week (I only have days off to rest my poor knees) really takes me 'out of my self'. It may sound trite but whilst i'm thinking about the steps/reps etc i'm not worrying about lifes trivialities and worries. Keep going with your exercise its about much more than fat!! Good luck.

Unfortunately sounds like jealousy to me. Maybe she should join you. If you truly enjoy it keep at it. There are worse things you could be doing.

my husband occasionally grabs my flab (sorry - I cant seem to phrase this any better) and says "it's not working that well is it?"

The last person who did that to me got slapped in the face. OMG, why do people think that just because you live together, or they're your significant other, that they're entitled to be rude? :explode: :mad: