Anyone criticised for exercising?

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13

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  • deeoleary38
    deeoleary38 Posts: 10 Member
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    I hear that one all the time too!!!
  • Beckii330
    Beckii330 Posts: 28
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    I am constantly having to defend why I exercise! I am not over weight, but I run and cycle almost daily. I love the endorphins, the feeling that I have just done something amazing for my body and my health..It makes me feel awake in the mornings etc.... People always thinking I am obsessed, or trying to be skinny, making aweful comments about wanting to see me eat crap etc..It's upsetting but I have realized over the years that it is most definatly their issues!!! Their insecurities or jealousy!
    Keep doing what you are doing and DON'T defend it! You don't have to!!

    This is what I am trying to get at - I am not trying to dismiss my friend at all and have zero issues with her weight....just want to clear that up!

    But I was interested why people are funny when others try and improve their lives by exercising. My mum does it too but hasn't been quite so vocal about it. You put the words "exercise" and "daily" in the same sentence and people think you are either anorexic, mental or just sad. WHY?!!
  • addaline22
    addaline22 Posts: 114
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    that my dear is what a jealous woman says to her friends when she feels helpless. As long as you are eating healthy and maintaining propper work out sheduels and it is not taking over your life, you do what you want. Be proud of yourself and ask her to join you. I would be willing to bet she is not happy with her self, no matter what she says. Maybe if she had a taste of success she would be more supportive.
  • BioShocked89
    BioShocked89 Posts: 330 Member
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    Well, the usual M.O. is that she's jealous. But your friend is probably more concerned with the change within you.. In her mind, you're now skinny and that's all that matters, she's not thinking of health, just beauty. First you lost the weight, and now you're taking it further for your health. She's feeling like she's getting left behind in her head and she probably thinks there's no way she'll ever be able to lose weight like you have.

    Which is usually why overweight people in our lives bring us down. Because we're fighting and working to become healthier people and they're sitting their butts on the couch watching life go by.

    My advice would be to talk it out with her. Explain why you're still going, and feel free to motivate her into joining you in workouts. I'd tread carefully about it, because she's already feeling so far behind you.

    I ended up motivating my good friend who's about to get married to lose weight with me, I'm a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding. If your friend will not try to understand you, or just keeps bringing you down, I'd say it's time to lose her number for a bit until she realizes she's hurting you.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Exercise is necessary no matter your size. It's good for the bones, heart, lungs, pretty much everything.

    I say just don't talk to this particular friend about it and do what you want.
  • SheilaN1976
    SheilaN1976 Posts: 266 Member
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    honestly i think she is just jealous of you because you look better then she does. i wouldn't let what she said get to you.
  • 1sophiesophie
    1sophiesophie Posts: 67 Member
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    It is surprising how emotive people can be around the topic of exercise. You have clearly stated that you "enjoy" it. Telling you to stop would be like telling somebody who enjoys playing the piano, or watching films or reading to "stop it and get a life".....erm, what is life if you're not doing the things you enjoy?

    People are weird. I'm glad you have found something you really enjoy doing with your time. The fact that you keep fit and healthy as a by-product....all the better!
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    She's the stupid one, not you.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    Based on her history of mean comments to you, I wonder why you refer to her as a friend at all. I'd get some distance from her and find some better people to associate with, that are more in tune with your lifestyle.
  • AbiJj
    AbiJj Posts: 26
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    my husband occasionally grabs my flab (sorry - I cant seem to phrase this any better) and says "it's not working that well is it?" - it did upset me tho I didn't say anything, and it put me off exercising for a few days each time (until I joined MFP)

    But I'm over it; mums at school have noticed that after 7 weeks of not seeing each other, that I look a lot slimmer and I have had a lot of praises - so let your friend TRY to bring you down, but you're not going to let it! Keep going... You're strong!

    My husband, btw, has also been losing weight on the sly - but because of his comments, I wont pay him compliments, but I won't be as belligerent.

    It's hard to understand why people that you love and care about do this, but I'm sure she'll catch up to you :)
  • Werner1950
    Werner1950 Posts: 38 Member
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    Some people, although they mean well, just don't know how discouraging their remarks can be. I don't know if you are familiar with the "crab syndrome". A friend of mine, who grew up in an environment of alcohol abuse gave me this analogy. Observe a bucket with numbers of crabs in it. One is trying valiantly to get out, and just as it is about to climb over the edge to freedom, another crab reaches up with its claw and thoughtlessly pulls the hopeful crab back down to the bottom where it starts its weary climb to the top all over again..

    When I was trying to quit smoking, it was amazing how often people would offer me a cigarette, even AFTER I informed them that I am trying to quit. The same goes for recovering alcoholics, and those addicted to drugs and other substances. Just as we are about to be freed from our "bondage", someone reaches up and tries to pull us back down. That's why people who are recovering from serious addictions need to move out of their old environment and find new friends.

    Of course, instead of being pulled back down, we can attempt to pull them up with us. So be the encourager, or the lifter-upper, not the discouraged one. help her to get over the edge...
  • Beckii330
    Beckii330 Posts: 28
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    Based on her history of mean comments to you, I wonder why you refer to her as a friend at all. I'd get some distance from her and find some better people to associate with, that are more in tune with your lifestyle.

    It's difficult - I am, by my own admission, a bit of a loner! Started the year with 2 promises to myself - get fit and toned up and make friends!
    I do wonder about this particular woman though as she seems quite negative about me. She'll say she's just "honest" but will make a jibe about my life under the guise of saying it for my own good if you see what I mean? This Saturday, as well as the exercising issue, I was told I am not ready for a relationship, how I am jealous of my ex's wife, how I am clearly not over my ex husband as he still bothers me. While all these things may be true, I don't think a friend should be pointing them out quite so bluntly, it's like she enjoys putting me down? Which is why I was questioning if it was deflection due to her severe depression?

    Thanks everyone, I feel better now, I didn't think I was doing too much but I did question myself a little this weekend :)
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    As a part time instructor I've recently been criticized for being too fit, so I'm going to start wearing tee shirts instead of my tanks.

    I get some back hand compliments basically asking if I do anything aside from hang out in the gym, but I laugh it off because 1) I do this for me and 2) I really only spend on average 1 hour per day in the gym.

    If I were you I'd let her know that you considered her concerns and decided that you are doing this for you, you enjoy it, and this lifestyle is your new chosen lifestyle not a temporary solution to an issue. Then invite her to start coming along with you because you'd like to spend more time with her and show her what you see in it.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Based on her history of mean comments to you, I wonder why you refer to her as a friend at all. I'd get some distance from her and find some better people to associate with, that are more in tune with your lifestyle.

    It's difficult - I am, by my own admission, a bit of a loner! Started the year with 2 promises to myself - get fit and toned up and make friends!
    I do wonder about this particular woman though as she seems quite negative about me. She'll say she's just "honest" but will make a jibe about my life under the guise of saying it for my own good if you see what I mean? This Saturday, as well as the exercising issue, I was told I am not ready for a relationship, how I am jealous of my ex's wife, how I am clearly not over my ex husband as he still bothers me. While all these things may be true, I don't think a friend should be pointing them out quite so bluntly, it's like she enjoys putting me down? Which is why I was questioning if it was deflection due to her severe depression?

    Thanks everyone, I feel better now, I didn't think I was doing too much but I did question myself a little this weekend :)

    In my experience there are 2 forms of honest people. There is just plain ordinary honesty that comes from a place of caring (sometimes it's blunt and sometimes it's sugar) with the intention of telling you that whatever it is you're doing is harmful or potentially harmful to yourself or others, and then there are people who use the word "honesty" as an excuse to be hurtful . . . she seems of the second camp. As a person who is self admittedly low on friends, it's important to remember that the key to friendship isn't quantity, it's quality.
  • clairechiz
    clairechiz Posts: 1
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    Your friend is definitely jealous. Exercise has given me a new lease of life not only have I lost 2 stone but I have not has a cough or throat infection all year! (I used to get them evry 8 weeks or so). Another benefit to exercise is the effect it has on your mental health. I have always suffered with anxiety and the threat of recurring depression. I have two children with special needs and can spend alot of time worrying about the future. Exercising for an hour 5 times a week (I only have days off to rest my poor knees) really takes me 'out of my self'. It may sound trite but whilst i'm thinking about the steps/reps etc i'm not worrying about lifes trivialities and worries. Keep going with your exercise its about much more than fat!! Good luck.
  • AbiJj
    AbiJj Posts: 26
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    Oh Werner, how true! It takes a lot to get going and then it probably hurts the ones left behind, who do know better but haven't overcome the hurdle of "getting 'round to it". :ohwell:

    Claire - I can't agree with you more, I've lost a stone and a half and when playing hide and seek in the park this weekend, I hadn't realised how quickly I could now run around with so much less jiggle! That determination made me feel I could do anything if I set my mind to it! What I'm always preaching to my children... I felt so proud of me instead of just my kids for a change :-)

    :smile:
  • jwaitman
    jwaitman Posts: 367 Member
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    Unfortunately sounds like jealousy to me. Maybe she should join you. If you truly enjoy it keep at it. There are worse things you could be doing.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Some people can only raise themselves up by bringing someone else down.

    I know, I lived with one. He would call me names like "lazy", "fat *kitten*", "fat b***h", etc, but when I finally started eating healthier and exercising daily, I got criticized for not spending as much time cleaning the house and cooking his meals.

    No matter what you do, someone, somewhere is going to take it the wrong way, so just keep on doing what you're doing...because small-minded people are going to complain anyway.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    my husband occasionally grabs my flab (sorry - I cant seem to phrase this any better) and says "it's not working that well is it?"

    The last person who did that to me got slapped in the face. OMG, why do people think that just because you live together, or they're your significant other, that they're entitled to be rude? :explode: :mad:
  • AbiJj
    AbiJj Posts: 26
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    Well, my 12 year old daughter was present, and she's savvy enough to understand her dad can be a real jerk, but she saw that I'm above that and that life throws those sorts of curve balls.
    It would've looked crazy if I'd slapped him, she's the school kid, not us.

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