Getting over fear of working out in public

FitFabFlirty92
FitFabFlirty92 Posts: 384 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I'm starting the Couch to 5k program tomorrow at my college gym -- it's a lot easier to get this done on campus on a treadmill than it is to carve out time to run in a park at a decent hour (I'm a New Yorker, it's not too safe, lol). But whether I'm working out outside or in a gym, I've found that I HATE working out in public. I'm not terribly overweight (5'4, around 160 pounds), so I'm not getting the looks or comments that I'm sure larger people must receive. But regardless, I feel very insecure and self conscious the minute I start working out in front of other people.

Do any of you feel uncomfortable exercising in front of others? How do you deal with it, or better yet, get over it?

Replies

  • Feisty_Red
    Feisty_Red Posts: 982 Member
    Pop in your headphones and block everyone out. Another thought is the majority of people are doing their own thing and more than likely are not paying attention to what you are doing.

    Or you could just imagine them in their underwear ;)

    Try not to get hung up on other distractions or fears that are keeping you from your goals.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Yes! I would love to go to a gym - but I'm really self-conscious about it. I would love to work out with a friend or two...but the idea of working out in front of others puts me off working out.

    I'm sure that the best thing to do is to just get out there and do it. But, right now, I'm just trying to get into a solid workout routine. Once I do that...then I'll start working on the public work out thing. :)
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i sued to be very uncomfortable exercising outdoors, no so much the gym. i also used to live in NY (brooklyn stand up!!!) so running in prospect park was something i hated. there would always be random groups of guys hanging out ready to say *kitten*. i've always had large boobs so being overweight made it even worse so most of the comments were based on that.

    anyway, what helps is wearing headphones. also going at a time when you know there are going to be lots of people around. go with a friend. turn it into a game and walk or run faster when you see potential offenders lurking. it's also good in general to wear proper fitting clothing. for instance i would never ever ever wear a bouncey bra because that's way too tempting for some people to resist. unfortunately it sucks because i'm still pretty self conscious about it do i'd probably never ever run in a tank top even on a hot day :ohwell: :cry:

    the other thing to remember is why you're there. you're there for YOUR health, not their amusement. think about how each time you work ut, you're getting 1 step closer to your goals and being fitter. try not to let the naysayers get you down
  • Thesurrealistdreamer
    Thesurrealistdreamer Posts: 17
    I am still trying to work on getting over it! I started swimming again about a month ago with a masters swim team in my city (I used to swim in high school and I always loved it) but it was REALLY hard to get out there in a swimsuit when I am sooooo self conscious about my size! I work through it by talking to as many people as possible just to make myself feel comfortable and get over the voices in my head telling me how gross I must look. Some days are harder than others, but I figure that I am here trying my hardest and that is all I can do. Honestly, getting out there to run has been a harder challenge for me only because I never really ran before. I am still working on tackling that next!
  • sbowl
    sbowl Posts: 82 Member
    I'm old and overweight. I have not always been so. The thing that has remained constant no matter what my size, is I don't really care what others think. What matters is what I think. I not only work out in a gym, I put on a swimsuit and swim at a wonderful local facility with people of all ages and shapes.

    I love seeing what other people wear at the gym. I also like to glance at the young guys who are desperately looking around to see if anyone is noticing them flex their muscles. That does make me giggle inside. Beyond that, people keep to themselves. The gym I go to is not fancy and I like it that way because it's cheaper. I am there to work out alone (which i prefer).

    Feisty Red makes a great suggestion about just popping in your headphones and getting into the zone.

    Some people do like to work out with others, but I find that a distraction. You get to talking and not paying attention or pushing yourself as far as you could because of the social aspect. I think this is true for girls more than guys, but it is my opinion.

    I'm sure you are an independent young woman - get out there and do what you know is right for YOU :)
  • RunMyOregonBunsOff
    RunMyOregonBunsOff Posts: 862 Member
    I have just gotten to the point of not feeling like I should say I'm sorry to everybody that sees me in my very tight running clothes. Just do what you gotta do. Turn your music up and forget about everybody else!
  • LordByproduct
    LordByproduct Posts: 117
    this is copied and pasted from a message board here on MFP i dint wriite it but its REALLY GOOD>>>>PLEASE READ


    For anyone who is overweight and not fit, you know how embarrassing it is and how stupid you feel when you go to a class and you are easily the fattest person there who is the most unfit. Every move for you is a struggle, every breath is ragged, every thought is negative and demeaning.

    Last night, I went to my first Boot Camp class. There were these gorgeous girls who had the thigh gap, tone beautiful legs, strong arms, and endurance to compete with any Olympian. Here I am, rolls, fat thighs, fat calves, huge body, and sweat pouring down my face struggling to breath. These girls even sweat pretty! (how unfair is that! LOL) During the class, I kept asking myself “Why am I here?” “What makes me think I am good enough to do this?” “I look so stupid trying to do all this, I am just holding them back”, “Oh god, what must they think of me, the fat girl in the class trying to be like them, I’ll never be like that, ever. I should just leave”. After an hour of this thinking, the class was over, I nearly threw up because I worked so hard to do everything. I didn’t do everything as often as they did or as well (I pulled my thigh muscle Friday[I have a race Saturday, I didn't want to NOT work out]). BUT I finished it. Today I went to MFP (MyFitnessPal) and someone posted this from another blogger (http://flintland.blogspot.com/)

    Hey, Fat Girl.

    Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

    You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

    You are awesome.

    If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

    You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

    You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

    You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

    I bow to you.https://www.facebook.com/notes/chad-byron/an-inspirational-blog-i-read-on-my-fitness-palcom-copied-and-pasted-here-because/10150950924510566
  • AllyLuna
    AllyLuna Posts: 32
    I felt the same way at first and I'm 5'5 and started out at 168, currently at 143. I put in my headphones, put my nose in a book if i was on a stationary bike, and kept thinking to myself these things:
    "At least i'm getting off my *kitten* and doing something"
    "I'll prove this to myself and to nay-sayers"
    and "Damn I'll look and feel good!"
    I started to get serious about getting fit because I had a terrible negative self image. It was affecting my school and personal relationships. So hell there was only one way to go, and that was up. I feel fantastic now, cant believe I thought so badly of myself but glad it got me off my butt. I'm 25lbs less and went from a size 12-14 to a size 8 last week, and i'm not done yet!
    Don't let yourself get distracted by others, work hard to make your self dedication the strongest it can be and you won't regret it. Be selfish in that aspect. You can make it happen!
  • jensfitpal2012
    jensfitpal2012 Posts: 145 Member
    I suffered from the same problem. I am very self conscious and my depression seems to make me feel worse in public situations like a gym. I avoided going to the gym,until one day I got sick of feeling sick and tired,and I thought,"Who cares what people may think,they don"t know me.I know me.It's time to stop allowing what I fear others may think about me,and focus on what I want for myself,that is to be healthy." I too,put on the headphones and focus on what I am listening too,even close my eyes to picture positive images. It helps to listen to encouraging lyrics.People are often not as concerned of focussing on you as you think,comes from your own insecurities. Put on those headphones and begin your journey.I wish you luck,but please be safe when running alone outside.
  • Ginnyesq
    Ginnyesq Posts: 109
    this is copied and pasted from a message board here on MFP i dint wriite it but its REALLY GOOD>>>>PLEASE READ


    For anyone who is overweight and not fit, you know how embarrassing it is and how stupid you feel when you go to a class and you are easily the fattest person there who is the most unfit. Every move for you is a struggle, every breath is ragged, every thought is negative and demeaning.

    Last night, I went to my first Boot Camp class. There were these gorgeous girls who had the thigh gap, tone beautiful legs, strong arms, and endurance to compete with any Olympian. Here I am, rolls, fat thighs, fat calves, huge body, and sweat pouring down my face struggling to breath. These girls even sweat pretty! (how unfair is that! LOL) During the class, I kept asking myself “Why am I here?” “What makes me think I am good enough to do this?” “I look so stupid trying to do all this, I am just holding them back”, “Oh god, what must they think of me, the fat girl in the class trying to be like them, I’ll never be like that, ever. I should just leave”. After an hour of this thinking, the class was over, I nearly threw up because I worked so hard to do everything. I didn’t do everything as often as they did or as well (I pulled my thigh muscle Friday[I have a race Saturday, I didn't want to NOT work out]). BUT I finished it. Today I went to MFP (MyFitnessPal) and someone posted this from another blogger (http://flintland.blogspot.com/)

    Hey, Fat Girl.

    Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

    You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

    You are awesome.

    If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

    You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

    You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

    You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

    I bow to you.https://www.facebook.com/notes/chad-byron/an-inspirational-blog-i-read-on-my-fitness-palcom-copied-and-pasted-here-because/10150950924510566

    Thanks for posting that, it made me cry! In a good way.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    @Lord...Thank you for that. That was so awesome to read and just like Ginny....I almost started crying! It's definitely something I'd never expect anyone to say, let alone think. I tend to think that people will look at me negatively...and maybe some do. But I think, starting today - I'll hope that maybe a few people are thinking more like that post.

    And when I am ready to actually hit the gym, or go for a run/walk outside...etc....I hope I remember this and let it motivate me to just get out there and do my thing :)
  • Nettabee
    Nettabee Posts: 296 Member
    this is copied and pasted from a message board here on MFP i dint wriite it but its REALLY GOOD>>>>PLEASE READ


    For anyone who is overweight and not fit, you know how embarrassing it is and how stupid you feel when you go to a class and you are easily the fattest person there who is the most unfit. Every move for you is a struggle, every breath is ragged, every thought is negative and demeaning.

    Last night, I went to my first Boot Camp class. There were these gorgeous girls who had the thigh gap, tone beautiful legs, strong arms, and endurance to compete with any Olympian. Here I am, rolls, fat thighs, fat calves, huge body, and sweat pouring down my face struggling to breath. These girls even sweat pretty! (how unfair is that! LOL) During the class, I kept asking myself “Why am I here?” “What makes me think I am good enough to do this?” “I look so stupid trying to do all this, I am just holding them back”, “Oh god, what must they think of me, the fat girl in the class trying to be like them, I’ll never be like that, ever. I should just leave”. After an hour of this thinking, the class was over, I nearly threw up because I worked so hard to do everything. I didn’t do everything as often as they did or as well (I pulled my thigh muscle Friday[I have a race Saturday, I didn't want to NOT work out]). BUT I finished it. Today I went to MFP (MyFitnessPal) and someone posted this from another blogger (http://flintland.blogspot.com/)

    Hey, Fat Girl.

    Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

    You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

    You are awesome.

    If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

    You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

    You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

    You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

    I bow to you.https://www.facebook.com/notes/chad-byron/an-inspirational-blog-i-read-on-my-fitness-palcom-copied-and-pasted-here-because/10150950924510566

    I'm sorry but this almost made me cry! I know exactly how it feels to feel embarrassed to go to a tack or trail and walk/jog along the outside with headphones blaring to avoid what you think are glares of disgust. Even working out at the gym I still hope that most the students are in class when I go. But even when it's a full house I find a machine and just try to focus on the goal at hand. One day at a time getting healthier, stronger, and becoming a better me. I started c25k a couple weeks ago and still don't feel comfortable moving past week one. I feel foolish walking the trail as others run laps around me. But I refuse to give up because my hope is that I too will be able to run the trail.
  • StephDuffney
    StephDuffney Posts: 51 Member
    I don't care what other think. i am there for me and my life. If they do not like the way i look when I am working out then they don't have to look. To me i am there for one thing and one thing only to get in shape just like they are. Ya I have a long ways to go but it me and they just need to deal with it.
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
    I understand what you mean. I'm a total gym rat, but being in the Army I move around every 2-3 years which means I have to get familiar with a new gym around people I've never seen before.Some reason I am always selfconcious the first few weeks I am there.

    What helps me, besides blocking everyone out with my headphones, is taking the time to walk around the entire gym the first time I go to get familiar with where all the equipment is.This way I'm not walking around looking clueless.

    Also, have your workout planned ahead of time. You should know exactly what exercises you are going to do before you go to the gym and how to do them. I only lift with free weights but if you plan on using machines the first visit would be the best time to ask a staff member how to use a particular one.
  • MetilHed
    MetilHed Posts: 101 Member
    I used to have this problem of being self conscious in the gym. I currently weigh 255 @ 5'8". I have come to realize a few things which may (or may not) be helpful:

    1- We're all there to better ourselves
    2- Anyone who passes judgement (or makes fun of, or berates etc) on someone trying to better themselves is a real piece of....work
    3- Who gives a $#!t what other people think anyway ?
    4- When you go to the gym, do this (don't be rude or stalky, but) watch someone on a treadmill for about 5 seconds. After said 5 seconds, think about how boring that was, and how much more boring it would be for any length of time. Quit worrying about people looking at you or watching you. WIN
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
    Me personally, when I work out, I'm not paying attention to anyone else unless I'm actually working out with them. I'm too busy doing my own thing. I normally have my headphones on. Pop on some good tunes and tune everything out.

    Also, I don't know if you're at all interested in running outdoors, but if you are, just be warned it's going to feel very different than on a treadmill, perhaps harder. This doesn't matter at all if you're not interested in running outside, but if you are, it might be best to plan out a small route you can run outside as well.
  • misshelly7
    misshelly7 Posts: 1
    Just remember that they are not your friends or your family- they are just people you don't know and their opinion is irrelevant! I bet your friends and family will be proud of you!
  • Nina2503
    Nina2503 Posts: 172 Member
    I felt the same when I used to go to the gym, then someone told me most people who work out are far too busy concentrating on their activity to worry about others!

    Feel good about the fact you are doing something positive, afterall everyone had to start somewhere and I bet a lot of the 'skinnies' you see at the gym were in your placce once, so use them as inspiration to stick at it!
  • wolfchild59
    wolfchild59 Posts: 2,608 Member
    Despite the threads here with posts about what annoys people at the gym most folks that go to the gym are mostly focused on their own workouts and aren't going to really worry about one person running on a treadmill for 30 minutes.

    Just go there, throw in some headphones and listen to music or watch a movie and do your thing. Don't worry at all about the other folks that are there. I felt the same way when I first thought about going to a gym, but it's pretty easy to be a ghost in any gym I've gone to.
  • DivaTendencies86
    DivaTendencies86 Posts: 8 Member
    I had the same problem. Lucky for me, I started going to gym with a colleague of mine. I would find any excuse in the book not to go, but she would always find a counter argument to make me go. We started going to classes (boxing, spinning, tae bo, swiss ball) and that was the biggest challange for me. Some of the people in the classes were much fitter than what I was. I just told myself i'm here for me and no one else. I will do things at my own pace and not care what anyone else says or thinks. It's been a few weeks now and i've made a few friends at gym. I go there without my colleague having to force me and no longer need her to go to gym so that I can go to gym. If she is busy, then I go by myself, coz anyway it's for myself.
  • FLCullen
    FLCullen Posts: 49 Member
    I've heard this before, and I used to be too self-conscious to be running otuside. But then one day i saw a woman who was considerably larger than me (and you!) running by my bus that was stuck in traffic, and I didn't laugh at her, I didn't judge her, I didn't think she looked stupid. Actually, I felt a bit embarassed that I was sitting on public transport and had been putting off running outdoors for so long. It's worth remembering that like-minded people who just want to be fit and make the most of their bodies are not going to pass rude comments or judge you- it's much more likely that they will see you asan ally in fighting fit! Either that, or they think 'there's another runner', and probably don't pay much notice at all! Anyone that makes negative remarks at someone, regardless of their size, is ignorant and obviously is not concerned with the obesity epidemic. Keep these things in mind when you go exercising in public: No one cares, ad if they do, they're probably an a**hole!

    Good luck with your Couch-5k!
  • Beethoven1827
    Beethoven1827 Posts: 102 Member
    I've just started C25K too, as well as a Zumba class. Oh my goodness, how self-conscious do I feel walking down the road in exercise clothes? But actually, I've got some friends who go to Zumba too - it's a small group, and we all laugh together at how many mistakes we make, or how hard some of the routines are. It's good to know I'm not alone. And for the C25K programme, since I live out in the countryside, I take the dog out with me and take the paths through some of the fields. There's a way to go before I'll stop feeling self-conscious, but I tell myself that there's nothing to criticise - at least I'm out there making the effort...

    And hey, I used to go to the gym before work, in the days before children came along, but my boss used to go there too. I figure if I could cope with him seeing me all sweaty in my workout gear, then face him in the office an hour later, then I can cope with strangers who I'll never see again...!
  • DeathKitty23
    DeathKitty23 Posts: 64 Member
    with regards to the gym I used to feel this way but to be honest if poeple are at the gym they are usually concentrating on what they are doing to look at you (if not then why are they at the gym) JUst remember that your there to work out and people should repect that no matter how big you are
    One gym I went to there was a regular that was over 30 stone - I worked out on the same days as him and he recognised me and we got talking one day - I can honestly say that until that point i had noticed him because I was soo busy with my own workouts and whn I did I had more of a 'good for you' attitude than 'what are you doing here'
    People work out to get fit and/or loose weight so it shouldn;t matter how you look just now
    xx

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