He/She should have hung around...

fabulessmommy
fabulessmommy Posts: 40 Member
in Motivation and Support
How many of you have ever had someone dump you or not date you because of your weight? I know I have and now that I’m losing weight and looking great I think the last laugh is on you! You should have stuck around because I’m going to be a success story. I would love to hear similar stories. Or if you’ve lost the weight and run into and ex. How did it make you feel?
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Replies

  • chinatbag
    chinatbag Posts: 249 Member
    I think this is going to be how I feel when I'm at my goal weight. This is going to sound extremely conceited, but I can't wait for the day when I'm at my goal and the gals that rejected me in the past start paying more attention to me. I'm going to kindly tell them to peace out, because I'm still the same dude.

    Before all the hate mail comes, I realize that I'm not very attractive while big and I probably wouldn't date me at this point either, so I'm not being a hater, but I am being realistic ;)
  • lorib75
    lorib75 Posts: 490 Member
    Actually I've had the opposite... Most of the men I've dated ( prior to getting married ) have loved big girls....so I guess maybe they wouldn't like me when I reach my goal weight??????:ohwell:
  • Rozie85
    Rozie85 Posts: 14 Member
    I think this is going to be how I feel when I'm at my goal weight. This is going to sound extremely conceited, but I can't wait for the day when I'm at my goal and the gals that rejected me in the past start paying more attention to me. I'm going to kindly tell them to peace out, because I'm still the same dude.

    Before all the hate mail comes, I realize that I'm not very attractive while big and I probably wouldn't date me at this point either, so I'm not being a hater, but I am being realistic ;)

    You're not unattractive so I wouldn't give yourself such a hard time.

    And I'm going to be exactly the same as you lol but to family who have made me feel horrible growing up. Ok im not going to be arrogant but just slowly walk in to the room so they can see how good I look lol
  • Tiff1124
    Tiff1124 Posts: 261 Member
    This actually happened to me at my 10 yr high school reunion. The love of my life, well so I thought at the time, haha. He saw me sitting with some of my old friends and my husband and not only did a double, but a TRIPLE take, came up to me and said "if there is one thing I regret, was letting you go.

    I then introduced him to my husband and hubby said "thank you for that"

    I WIN! :happy:
  • gjulie
    gjulie Posts: 391
    its nice to meet the ex and have them realise that you are better off with out them and got really well and are a success!:drinker:
  • invisus
    invisus Posts: 3
    The first time I joined this site, I came with that attitude, although I tried to pretend I wasn't doing it cos he'd dumped me, I was. Unfortunately, once I stopped caring so much that we'd broken up, I found it harder to maintain the diet :S

    This time, I'm doing it for me, safe in the knowledge that my new man loved me even when I was at my heaviest, which makes him even more special in my eyes :)

    Emxx
  • hollyk57
    hollyk57 Posts: 520 Member
    This actually happened to me at my 10 yr high school reunion. The love of my life, well so I thought at the time, haha. He saw me sitting with some of my old friends and my husband and not only did a double, but a TRIPLE take, came up to me and said "if there is one thing I regret, was letting you go.

    I then introduced him to my husband and hubby said "thank you for that"

    I WIN! :D

    :drinker: Woo Hoo - that's like Romy and Michelle style awesome. You rock
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
    My ex and I broke up about 5 months ago and I had tried to lose weight while we were together but he wasn't very supportive of it. Being single is the perfect time to get myself in shape and lose all this weight just to be healthy and everything else will fall into place. I can't even count how many times I've been rejected due to my weight. I guess I am a very spiteful person and although I am trying to lose this weight for no one but me, revenge is a great motivator! Those people who rejected me then won't deserve me once I lose weight either! It would always be in the back of my mind, what happens if I gain it all back....would they leave?
  • KickassAugust
    KickassAugust Posts: 1,430 Member
    You're probably lucky they didn't hang around...
  • laarae
    laarae Posts: 332 Member
    This actually happened to me at my 10 yr high school reunion. The love of my life, well so I thought at the time, haha. He saw me sitting with some of my old friends and my husband and not only did a double, but a TRIPLE take, came up to me and said "if there is one thing I regret, was letting you go.

    I then introduced him to my husband and hubby said "thank you for that"

    I WIN! :happy:

    Awesome story-it sounds like both your hubby and you are the ones who won.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    raises hand wild hermoine style

    eta: for the rest of the question, I dont run into my exes, they live 1500 miles away- except one who lives near my old place but I would rather never see him again since he was the guy I was dating for a brief painful minute when I moved to NYC. I saw him on the subway platform once and he didnt recognize me though. so shrug.

    I would rather my current state of existence be a gift and a cherished present for the man in my future or present than a regret for someone in my past.
  • LesleeBeAlive
    LesleeBeAlive Posts: 504
    This actually happened to me at my 10 yr high school reunion. The love of my life, well so I thought at the time, haha. He saw me sitting with some of my old friends and my husband and not only did a double, but a TRIPLE take, came up to me and said "if there is one thing I regret, was letting you go.

    I then introduced him to my husband and hubby said "thank you for that"

    I WIN! :happy:

    NICE!
  • Tracepa98
    Tracepa98 Posts: 219
    I'm sure I will run into my ex sometime as I'm still good friends with his family. He may say something but him being selfish is the reason why I left him in the first place so I don't really care if he does.

    I know I will look good once i hit my goal weight and cant wait for that day. :smile:
  • tacticalhippie
    tacticalhippie Posts: 596 Member
    I don't think most of my ex's recognize me.
    I get that "you look so familiar but I can't place you" look.

    Although at my 10 year HS reunion...
    The ones who didn't give me the time of day in high school sure were eager to talk to me.
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
    This actually happened to me at my 10 yr high school reunion. The love of my life, well so I thought at the time, haha. He saw me sitting with some of my old friends and my husband and not only did a double, but a TRIPLE take, came up to me and said "if there is one thing I regret, was letting you go.

    I then introduced him to my husband and hubby said "thank you for that"

    I WIN! :happy:

    This is awesome!
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 610 Member
    its nice to meet the ex and have them realize that you are better off with out them and got really well and are a success!:drinker:


    Only difference for me was I did the leaving. For some reason he still seemed to think that he could put the moves on me when I lost the weight and I'd be receptive. :explode: :laugh: And he wonders why there's always people around when he comes into town to see the kids.
  • Maddi_InBetweenDays
    Maddi_InBetweenDays Posts: 177
    I've just had an ex contact me, so I do have a story lol! While my weight wasn't the only reason he dumped me, it played a huge part. His ex-wife was a pencil thin supermodel type. Once he even said "she (the ex-wife) could have posed for playboy, and you can't". He was drunk and it wasn't said with any judgement or to be mean, he was just explaining something. At the time I took it hard, but all his friends and family were like "no, she couldn't" lol!
    Anyway, when he dumped me I really took control of my life, got a gym membership and in the last 11 months have dropped 60 pounds. I feel so much better and like a different person, I see old pictures and think "I am no longer that woman!" And I believe that physically and mentally.
    A couple weeks ago, this ex had a bit of medical emergency and ended up contacting me (about 7 months since we last talked and I told him I never needed to talk with him again) Now, he hasn't seen me or pictures, but I've told him honestly how well I am doing, and have lost 60 pounds, that I run, I lift weights, I try different classes. And he was impresses I 're-invented" myself, saying it's bloody hard work to drop that much weight., he asked to see pics or meet up. I realized what I am doing in my life right now is fulfilling and I don't need anything from him. That is more empowering and gives me confidence. I'm not angry or bitter towards him, I can offer whatever help I can be in regards to his medical issue, even friendship - but I am amazed that I am not hooked on him or attached to the old situation.
    Exercise and weight loss has made such a great impact on my mental health about the situation that kicked it off. I actually thanked him for being an *kitten*, because without that situation I don't think I would have ever started
  • marinemomx2
    marinemomx2 Posts: 143 Member
    My ex-husband told me at one point that "he was just not as attracted to me anymore because I wasn't as thin as I used to be." When people see me now they always ask me "has your ex seen you yet?" And my answer to that is... I don't really care. Something finally clicked for me and I did this for me. However, I live in a small town and he is in law enforcement and I always make sure to smile and wave when I am walking and he drives by in his squad car :wink:
  • jmeyer925
    jmeyer925 Posts: 326 Member
    It's the beeeeeeeeeeeeest to have an ex or old crush look at you after you've lost weight! It's been one of the best motivational factors for me to keep going!

    Especially since guys can't seem to hide their reactions well when they see you again! It's that jaw drop, "ah ****, what have I done" :brokenheart: moment. YES! Take that sucker! Now stare at my rear end as I walk away!

    I've had MULTIPLE crushes and exs tell me AFTER I lost a good amount of weight that I'm the perfect woman and they were so dumb to dump me. Mmmmhmhmmm that's for sure! :laugh:
  • Tiff1124
    Tiff1124 Posts: 261 Member
    This actually happened to me at my 10 yr high school reunion. The love of my life, well so I thought at the time, haha. He saw me sitting with some of my old friends and my husband and not only did a double, but a TRIPLE take, came up to me and said "if there is one thing I regret, was letting you go.

    I then introduced him to my husband and hubby said "thank you for that"

    I WIN! :D

    :drinker: Woo Hoo - that's like Romy and Michelle style awesome. You rock


    Now if only I had invented post-its! Lol
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
    I have an ex that used to be majorly obnoxious about how "perfect" he was vs. the world. He would literally tell me what I should eat, that I need to work out, how to do stuff everything. He acted like I had NO clue to anything in the world and was worthless and stupid as well as fat. (after that I put on 25 lbs because that was a majorly depressing situation) I hope that once I hit my goal I have the chance to run into him again... and let him know he missed out on something far better than he ever deserved. If not, I'm friends with his old roomie on face book, I'm sure that he'll see somehow or hear.
  • anamy90
    anamy90 Posts: 43
    I've had people try to sleep with me and say they don't relationships then a week later be with some slim girl. Not worth it. Won't go for those types even when slim.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    I put on a lot of weight when I split with my ex. I met a lovely guy 5 and a half years ago who loves me just the way I am.

    My ex recently caught up with me on Facebook and made comments about how 'the only reason I'm still with my new partner is because I sit on him and don't let him leave'.

    Well, I'm getting married the year after next, and shallow as it may be, I can't wait for him to see the pictures of the new slim me in my dress. :D
  • Rmazula
    Rmazula Posts: 58 Member
    Not an ex issue, rather a family issue. My Mom has always been super critical (though not as much now), so when I was thin in high school I thought I was fat (150-160 pounds and 5'10"). I'll be happy at 170 now, so 25 pounds to go. I am struggling to see what my husband sees though with my results. I think when I lose more weight I will start to see it myself.
  • redsteve65
    redsteve65 Posts: 142 Member
    I just want to say that I have read all of your posts and want to congratulate each and every one of you on your success. And glad to see that your efforts are also having a positive mental as well as physical effect.
  • NoExcusesAllProgress
    NoExcusesAllProgress Posts: 159 Member
    I haven't so much had an ex's really come on to me or anything, but I have had people who used to call me "big man" or suggest I'm some sort of monster because of my size do a double take when I run into them now. I've seen a lot more heads turn as of late though. i have my 10 year reunion coming up, so we'll see how that goes!
  • chinatbag
    chinatbag Posts: 249 Member
    You're not unattractive so I wouldn't give yourself such a hard time.

    And I'm going to be exactly the same as you lol but to family who have made me feel horrible growing up. Ok im not going to be arrogant but just slowly walk in to the room so they can see how good I look lol

    Aww, why thank you, hehe.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
    I actually broke up with somebody because of MY weight. Well that - and we just weren't a good match. I've always been harsher on myself because of my weight than anybody else ever has.

    Relatively few people know about my weight loss, so it's definitely nice to have people widen their eyes when they see me for the first time in a while.
  • itsjustdawn
    itsjustdawn Posts: 1,073 Member
    This would be me! Although he has stuck around but not for dating. It sucks!!
  • fabulessmommy
    fabulessmommy Posts: 40 Member
    Well I’m not doing this for a man or anyone else. I'm losing weight because I want to be a better me and I want to see my son grow up. I just think it’s funny when those that rejected you because of your weight see you and they are like wow you look great! It just goes to show you shouldn’t be so quick to judge someone by their outward appearance. I’m as beautiful on the inside as I am the outside and I make no apologies for sounding conceited. It’s took me a long time to realize my worth.

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