Stretchmarks, post baby

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fearlesslove010
fearlesslove010 Posts: 5
in Health and Weight Loss
I just had my son 8 weeks ago, and during my pregnancy I got stretch marks all over my midsection, including above my butt and on my lower back and sides. I also got them clear up to my belly button, and they're bright red. I gained 40 pounds with my pregnancy, and only 20 came off so far. I just feel extremely embarrassed almost. Part of it probably has to do with me only being 20. I feel like my body is ruined, and I have so much extra fat on my thighs and midsection, and I have this horrible mind-set about how terrible I look, and it makes me feel unattractive. I weighed around 185 when I first found out I was pregnant, I now weigh 205... I feel horrible about myself, and I am always self conscious around my boyfriend of 3 years. I know he loves me for me, but he hasn't even seen me naked in the light yet because I won't let him. I feel like if he see's it, everytime he see's this skinny stretchmark free girl, he'll secretly think, why can't my girlfriend look like that? :cry:

How does everyone else feel about their body? And how do you overcome your mind-set about your appearance??
This is my biggest downfall.
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Replies

  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    The worst of them will fade in time. That said, I look forward to reading any responses, because my formerly fat fiance won't wear anything sleeveless because she has stretchmarks around her pits. Drives me crazy, she looks so hot despite some imperfections.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    PS, your boyfriend PUT those stretchmarks there. At the very least he should see them as a tangible reminder of his virility.
  • henryandrewmom
    henryandrewmom Posts: 25 Member
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    In time they will fade a lot. I have them from when I was pregnant with my son. Wear them with pride :-) Your boyfriend won't care.
  • fearlesslove010
    fearlesslove010 Posts: 5
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    PS, your boyfriend PUT those stretchmarks there. At the very least he should see them as a tangible reminder of his virility.

    Yes, that's a very good point! i just feel sad that I'm the one who got them, not him. I just don't feel attractive... but that is very very true!
  • fearlesslove010
    fearlesslove010 Posts: 5
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    In time they will fade a lot. I have them from when I was pregnant with my son. Wear them with pride :-) Your boyfriend won't care.

    Thanks! :) I am learning to try to accept them. I just feel like I will be happier when the weight comes off! - hopefully
  • chrlslove7
    chrlslove7 Posts: 136 Member
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    I was literally in you exact mindset 4 years ago. I had horrible red and purple stretch marks post baby #1. You need to give yourself time to accept this fact: they aren't going anywhere. They're there to stay unfortunately BUT, they will get a lot lighter. You can try creams to help them reduce their appearance (have heard good and bad things about them, but haven't tried them) but you'll have them. I've accepted it and honestly, it will get better. We have to give our men more credit though. My husband calls them "battle scars" and that he feels bad that he did it to me, lol. Unless he's some shallow d-bag, he knows it bothers you and he isn't not attracted to you because of it.

    Now, 4 years later and 9 months after having my 2nd, they didn't get worse. Your body has been through something traumatic, especially just 8 weeks post partum. No one feels amazing this soon so you need to give yourself time to grow into your new body. I hope you can pamper yourself because you definitely deserve it.
  • lukeevans85
    lukeevans85 Posts: 108 Member
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    My wife has some as well from just having a baby. Her doc said they'll fade in about 6 months.

    I think she looks beautiful and I could care less about the stretch marks. But I do understand feeling self conscious about them. I have them too just from being fat. Not as bad as pregnant (or formerly pregnant) women get them but still bad enough to feel a bit self conscious.
  • kidcole11
    kidcole11 Posts: 98 Member
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    By the time I was pregnant again 3 years...they were almost invisible and mostly gone.
  • LeRevCooper
    LeRevCooper Posts: 122
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    The color will fade.
  • Emtabo01
    Emtabo01 Posts: 672
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    In my experience they fade, but that deflated balloon texture never goes away. I've heard of using retin A on them but don't know if it actually helps or not.
  • punkrockprincess23
    punkrockprincess23 Posts: 79 Member
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    i have the same issue right now. i have always been soo small my whole life.i was 115 when i got pregnant. the day i gave birth i was 172!! the doctors said i gained wayyy too much.
    now i have strectch marks on my sides bad and all down my legs and some on my stomach(but they are very light-got lucky there) its been 4 years and they have faded yes but i still weigh 145lbs and i do not feel good about myself.
    i dont wear half of what i own and i refuse to be seen naked as well. this makes me depressed and i am also trying to still lose my weight and feel better. so just know FEARLESSLOVE0 you are not alone!
  • trackercasey76
    trackercasey76 Posts: 780 Member
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    Just look at that beautiful baby and smile because all the body trauma is worth it. My wife has a few and I honestly don't even notice them anymore, she is still beautiful to me and always will be. I am grateful that she was willing to put herself through it to give me 2 perfect children. Moral of the story is accept them and move on because you are now a BEAUTIFUL MOTHER and just have evidence to prove it!!
  • tigerdactyl
    tigerdactyl Posts: 112 Member
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    My wife is in the same place, our son will be six weeks old tomorrow and she hates her stretch marks. I don't care though, as others have said they're battle scars from pushing out our beautiful beast of a boy, who was over ten pounds at birth. I know that they'll fade over time, but I couldn't care less. She'll always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and her having reminders that she gave me a son certainly won't hurt her case!
  • pooleekylie
    pooleekylie Posts: 103
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    Even if they don't fully fade, stretch marks are kind of like paintings in the dining room--one day you just stop noticing them.
  • jentarver
    jentarver Posts: 192
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    Next time you are in a gym, or a water park/pool, where ever there is less clothing on the bodies, just open your eyes.

    You will be amazed at how many women have stretch marks and MEN, not just us. It is part of life. It is embraced more now a days than it used to be.

    Stop looking at magazines and celebrity moms. Don't wish to be like anyone but yourself!
    (I have them on arms, midsection, chest, rear, thighs, AND calves. So I AM talking from experience) The only ones that are really noticeable will obviously be my stomach, b/c they are bigger.

    Bottom line, it comes down to acceptance. You won't be happy until you accept that this is part of you now. Embrace your body and take care of it.
  • gomisskellygo
    gomisskellygo Posts: 635 Member
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    PS, your boyfriend PUT those stretchmarks there. At the very least he should see them as a tangible reminder of his virility.


    This the best!!
  • Ash2712
    Ash2712 Posts: 19 Member
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    I had my first child at the ripe age of 18, and I had gained double the amount of weight you did! I felt horriable about myself and would only wear sweaters and jackets, no matter how hot it was!
    I understand the pain that comes with it all, you have this beautiful baby that you fell in love with the moment you see them and then look in the mirror and wonder how anyone could love you. Between the hormones getting back to normal and the extra weight it is tough, but a happy girl and a positive girl is a sexy one, no matter what.
    Take time to go through your clothes and make a few differnt outfits that make you feel good. Also make sure you do your hair and makeup routine as you did before, this helped me a lot.
    I was told it takes 9 months to put the weight on so expect at least 9 to take most of it off.
    Your boyfriend saw you pregnant and I assume in labor right....he is not going to leave now if he sees you in the light. ;) He helped make those strechmarks.
    I lost all of mu baby weight from the first baby just in time to have another, I didn't gain as much with the second and lost it all MUCH faster. But my third (and final) has kicked my butt! I still have 20 pounds to go from just her(she is now three!), not to mention the other 35 I gained before I ever got pregnant from quitting smoking!
    But one day at a time... My husband (who came after baby number two) jhas seen me at my worst, and he still loves me and shows me often. He wants me to be happier in my own body but he has no issue with is. It is my understanding that we as women are more crazy then we ever admit! We think of the worst of our partners at times thinking they will run off at the first sign of imperfection, but if it is a committed relationship then we deserve to give them more credit.
    Men get insecure too, I know when I was wanting to hide my body, my husband started to wonder if I ever thought he was "overwieght" because he is not perfect either. When I learned this it made me feel a little better that we all worry about our looks, but keep confidence and gaining more as we progress in the direction we want helps even more.

    I hope my story helps, I am 5'6 and I am now 204, So I understand...promise....
    But I have been trying really hard for the last few months and I have lost 9 pounds so far. I drink an at least a gallon of cold water a day and eat a lower carb kind of diet. It has helped me with my isulin issues but it is not for everone, especially after having a baby and needing more energy. But you will find what works for you, you are already on the right track because you are here talking about it all. Good for you good luck!
  • gomisskellygo
    gomisskellygo Posts: 635 Member
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    Time is the only way to know if they will fade enough to your satisfaction. Mine faded almost completely (my daughter is 5). I never got the "deflated balloon" look. But, I also yo-yo dieted my whole life so the stretchmarks I earned during pregnancy were not my first. But regardless at the end of the day, I am sure your baby is worth your stretchmarks:)

    I also think genetics plays a huge role in whether you get them and whether they fade.

    Take care of yourself and do not stress over things you cannot control:flowerforyou:
  • marniew
    marniew Posts: 1
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    I have stretchmarks from when I was overweight and then I got more when I had my daughter. They have faded a lot, but they haven't gone away. I know there are creams for stretchmarks out there, but I haven't tried them. I saw a post on Facebook one day calling them our Tiger Stripes and saying that we earned them. I thought that was a great way to look at it!

    I was afraid of what my husband would think of my body too, but he never even noticed until I pointed them out myself. He didn't care one bit. He said I was beautiful without them and I'm beautiful with them. They are just like any other scar. After a while, you don't notice them.
  • icemaiden17_uk
    icemaiden17_uk Posts: 463 Member
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    The weight will go, your tummy will firm up and they will fade. Just give them time! You have been through a rough time and your hormones and emotions will be all over the place for quite a while. You feel bad now but you won't for ever. I promise!

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