New and frustrated

emandlukeplusone
emandlukeplusone Posts: 38 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
hey friends. I have always struggled losing weight. I'm addicted to food. No really, I might plan to say no when I go to a party or when my husband orders pizza but when it comes in the house or I get to the party I just eats it anyway. My husband LOVES to eat out especially fast food and he doesn't really struggle with his weight and gets pouty when he suggests fast food and i say no so then I decide to let him have it but I'll eat something else....then I don't. I just eat what I want. I just started MFP almost a week ago. I started at 196.7lbs and my goal is to be 150 then second goal to be 135. almost every day it says "if you eat like this you'll be 189 in 5 weeks." but I weighed in this morning at 197.4 !!! it might not look like I'm trying on my diary but I am I really am! I am counting the calories even the ones I'm super embarassed about. I found out that my typical starbucks breakfast is almost 750 calories!! and what I usually eat when we eat Pizza Hut is over 1200 calories! Thats just kinda gross...Now whith this knew knowledge I MIGHT actually accomplish my goals. But I have to say I was REALLY frustrated to weight in and have gained weight. I feel like I'm hungry all the time and I workout EVERY DAY..... Please help. I don't want to give up. I MIGHT be able to wear shorts next summer but I'll nver know if I give up. But I'm so frustrated all I can think about is what is in the kitchen....LOL....I'm sick and have a problem.

I should also mention I'm a stay at home mom to two very young boys almost 4 and almost 2....
If this is too whiney for a first post. I'm sorry. I just don't really know who to turn to or where to start or If I should just give up. ....
THANKS!

Replies

  • vnakkar
    vnakkar Posts: 30
    Some advice and support I'm sure others will reinforce.

    Be patient, if you just started your body needs to shift gears and head in the other direction. Imagine holding a volley ball under water, and then letting the air out while its under.

    Stick to the numbers, not the food. Obsess over the bottom line, not whats in the diary. Have your food, have your pizza and your burgers if you need to as you start, just fit it into the numbers. If I know we're going out to dinner and I'm going to have a few beers I plan for it. The only thing to deny yourself is quantity as you get started.

    So may of us fail because we deprive ourselves and the task seems insurmountable. Watch the bottom line, not the top lines.

    Being a stay at home mom with two small boys is an asset! I'm chained to a desk all day, you're far more active than I am.

    Chin up.

    p.s. You probably want to open your diary for public viewing so everyone can make sure its all setup right.
  • jrbb03092
    jrbb03092 Posts: 198 Member
    My advice is to work on making small changes. Eat two slices of pizza instead of four. Have a grilled chicken burger instead of a hamburger. Take the kids for a walk around the block in the morning and another one at the end of the day. Focus on drinking four glasses of water and slowly up it to eight. Whenever faced with food, look for the "healthier" option. Not healthiest. Healthier.

    Some people may be able to go cold turkey on all the crap and instantly turn into clean eating gurus, but a lot of us who have been eating crap (or eating decently but over-eating or binging on one particular food) need to slowly retrain ourselves about how we view food.

    Focus on the baby steps - I had a salad with dinner, I ate two slices of pizzas not four, I did my walk today even though it was raining. Celebrate every baby step you take and don't focus on the scale. (That will come but you have to be patient)

    I honestly believe that if you do that, the rest follows. Feeling better about yourself and what you're doing becomes the motivation to make even more changes and do even better.

    Good luck!

    p.s. I'm just finally starting to really get this myself but it really feels like something's clicked for me. Hope it does for you too.
  • emandlukeplusone
    emandlukeplusone Posts: 38 Member
    thanks for the advice and encouragement! IT really does help. It is good to know that I do have some hope that I should just give it some time....and not quit. Thank you so much.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    I agree with the other posters. You don't have to overhaul everything at once. And you don't have to give up fast food or pizza.

    I have Papa John's once a week. Pizza Hut wings a couple of times a month. I have ice cream or popcorn every night. I just make it fit into my calorie goal.

    Start by just tracking your numbers, try to stay under your calorie goal. If you aren't under, log it anyway. Be completely honest.

    Then, every week, make a small change. Have a salad with your pizza. Substitute water for soda. Have a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar. Etc. Change one habit a week - and pretty soon, you'll have a mostly healhty diet with plenty of room for treats.

    This is a marathon, not a sprint.....so there is no reason to rush these changes.

    Also - it always helps me to remind myself that I can get more food any time I want it. There is no reason to eat 4 slices of pizza when 2 will satisfy me. I can get more pizza anytime. I have money, I have a car, and I have a phone to order it with. So, I don't need ALL of it right now. The same goes for any food you are considering overeating. You can always get more. Just remind yourself of that! :)
  • kakklespakkle
    kakklespakkle Posts: 118 Member
    One of the biggest learning curves for me was finding out just how many calories are in things. I had no idea I was eating so much! Give yourself time to learn about what you're eating, and to make changes to your diet. Like vnakkar says, try to hit the bottom line number first, and make healthier choices as you get used to it and go along. I know it's rubbish when you don't lose weight straight away and you're trying so hard, but persevere and it will happen xxx

    oh, and all of what the poster before me said - bob on! (you posted while I was still writing :))
  • vmekash
    vmekash Posts: 422 Member
    Small changes is the way to go. Otherwise, you get burned out very soon. In the past, I would start out all gung ho, and in a matter of days, I'm eating ice cream right out of the container in front of the open freezer. Do what you can live with. When that's no big deal, make more small changes.

    Good luck!
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
    Everyone has really good things to say here. It's no good telling yourself "No" entirely, or setting yourself up for failure. Be realistic with your diet. I still eat ramen noodles like three times a week, and other not very good things, but because I watch the calories I've lost weight. As you go you can change more and more. Baby steps, and you're more likely to succeed.

    Oh also, reading labels is important. I just started doing that and it's amazing! I make better choices now because I am paying attention to what is actually in the stuff I'm eating. I just read a study the other day that on average women who read labels while shopping weigh 10% less and it's because you know what you're eating and make a better decision then.
  • CincinnatiDEIFan
    CincinnatiDEIFan Posts: 188 Member
    Hi!

    The start of my plan for joining was just learning what I was eating and how "bad" it really was. I knew 5 slices of pizza was bad, but just how bad I had NO CLUE. So you have already learned a valuable lesson. Instead of 5 slices, try 2 instead if you must.

    My whole thing is a drastic change all at once, for me was a sure fire way for me to fail. If I do small steps, like starting to figure out what Im eating and how bad it is, then portion control, then small choices (like wheat toast today with my breakfast instead of the biscuits with gravey I sooo wanted), then maybe down the road slowly eating more and more "clean"...

    Slow and steady for me will win the race. :-)

    Feel free to add me. I am a 38 year old mom to a 10 and 9 year old. Three months ago moved 16 hours away from the only state I ever lived in and am still looking for new employment.

    :-)
    Good luck!!!!!
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    You have to count everything you consume, even snacks, and be honest about what you are consuming.

    You mentioned you are "addicted" to food, to be honest I believe people

    like you and myself use food as a form of stress relief.

    (For example, when a smoker gets stressed out, he smokes, well we eat).

    It is the emotional attachment to food that will

    always block your goals in my opinion. That emotional attachment must be broken,

    or you must be constantly aware you have that attachment.

    Be aware why you get hungry, if you are "hungry" because you are being emotional, learn to tell yourself no.

    If you are hungry because you need to eat, then eat.

    Once i finally broke the emotional attachment I had to food it became much easier to reel in my diet.
  • MaleyaB
    MaleyaB Posts: 25
    First of all, congrats on your first week-- I just started a week ago, and I know it makes me feel proud to be able to say, "hey, I am actually trying to diet and have been successful for a week". So you should really congratulate yourself EVEN with the weight gain.

    I would suggest trying to eat several times a day. I decided to change to where I would eat five times a day, and have smaller meals, instead of three bigger ones. It helps because instead of waiting five hours or so, I can wait three. Knowing the calories is such a big help too. I have learned that I can eat what I want, as long as I balance it. My boyfriend and I LOVE Taco Bell, which is HORRIBLE for you. But I found that if I eat what I need to and watch the calories, I can eat Taco Bell without going over on all my carbs and calories. So I don't think you should really cut out Pizza Hut if you really like it. Just plan ahead- if you know you are going to eat one slice, then prepare for it at the beginning of the day. Also, pay attention to little changes, such as... instead of getting regular crust, thin crust is better and makes a difference. Instead of getting pepperoni and sausage, get only pepperoni. It might not be the same, but you are still essentially getting what you want.

    I hope this helps, and I wish you luck. Stick with it! :)
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Slow and Steady. Slow and Steady. Slow and Steady. Just keep repeating that to yourself, why? Because slow and steady wins the race! I'm sure you've read that book about the tortises recently with your kids :) Weight loss has to happen slow if you want to maintain it. Do you want to look good in shorts just next summer, or do you want to be confident in some sexy shorts for the rest of your life? I'm going to go ahead and guess you want to be fit for life! If that's the case, then you are going to have to be patient as the weight comes off. If you lose it fast, you'll most likely put it all back on fast too. Try to think about the other reasons why you want this when you are discouraged, for example keeping up with your kids! Don't you want to set a good example for them?

    I think it's great you are already realizing some of your old meals are going to have to change. I encourage you to dive into nutrition and start reading, the internet is a great resource. Educate yourself on protein, carbs and fats and how much you need. Read about calorie-cycling, IF, BMR and TDEE. Get a grasp on the numbers, then make yourself a plan. Those with a solid, detailed plan always have more success.

    It's going to take a while to start loosing, so just keep plugging away. You will see results! I promise, it just takes time. It took me about 3 months of cleaning up my diet and serious workouts (5 days a week!) before I really saw any change on the scale. You've already made the first step by coming to MFP, now take step #2 and fill your brain with nurtition knowledge. Feed yourself with healthy fuel, keep working out, and don't give up.
  • nmullins81
    nmullins81 Posts: 35 Member
    I made myself log without changing anything, then I saw what the calories were in my meals out (i.e. fast food) and I decided to start eliminating that- I make myself stay home when I have food at home and I try REALLY hard to bring my lunch even if it's just a sandwich. Then I started making simple changes like getting 100% whole wheat bread (saved me 40 calories on one meal!) and have made it a numbers game. Also if I go over, I don't beat myself up, I just keep going.

    My favorite motivation is "Saying 'oh I've already ruined my good eating today I'll just eat like crap' is like saying 'oh I dropped my phone on the floor I'll just smash it until it breaks."
  • mirthfuldragon
    mirthfuldragon Posts: 124 Member
    Knowledge is power, and it's great that you've made that first step to realizing how many calories are in, well, pretty much everything.

    Starting small is the way to go. Set your goal for 2,000 calories, and spend a month simply counting calories and logging food. Then you can start to make changes. The scale is your enemy - don't weight for the first month.

    I've been at this three years, I in that time I've gone from two Cokes per day to one in the last two months, from combo meals to drinking water and eating half my fries, all in little steps.

    Small changes over time are big changes in the long run.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    I echo what everyone else has said. Please remember that this is for the rest of your life. There is no way you will never eat a treat again. Might as well learn how to have them and not go overboard. I gave up some bad habits one at a time. Smoking in January, Diet Pepsi in February. Then I started watching and logging every thing I ate in March. It is very surprising how much we eat all day!

    Please go to this site (below) and make sure that you are eating the correct amount of calories for YOU, not just what MFP says. You never have to be hungry or feel really deprived. Feeding your body correctly to lose weight will make it a lot easier and make the changes you work so hard for be sustainable. The site below will help you learn what your TDEE and BMR are and how they can make losing weight a reality. When I did this - it changed my life. There is also a group linked with this on MFP and a face book page. There are a lot of people there that can answer all your questions and offer you support.

    Best of luck and here's the site: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12
    Dan really knows his stuff! :flowerforyou:
  • bonniecarbs
    bonniecarbs Posts: 446 Member
    Just go ahead and be patient, cause you sound like me almost a year ago. I make fun of that little messages "you will weigh 183 pounds" in 3 weeks. It came very very slow for me (I joined in June 2011 in another account). I have about 15 pounds to go and I do believe it will take me 6 months to lose it!! Hang tough young lady.
  • Danayle
    Danayle Posts: 74 Member
    One of the biggest learning curves for me was finding out just how many calories are in things. I had no idea I was eating so much! Give yourself time to learn about what you're eating, and to make changes to your diet. Like vnakkar says, try to hit the bottom line number first, and make healthier choices as you get used to it and go along. I know it's rubbish when you don't lose weight straight away and you're trying so hard, but persevere and it will happen xxx

    oh, and all of what the poster before me said - bob on! (you posted while I was still writing :))

    I would say the same is true for me. It has been about education, and learning how different foods affect your body and calories and other nutritional content of different foods. I tend to be an all or nothing person, but that's how I failed before. Instead of trying to be so perfect at it, I've been focusing on eating healthier and also allowing myself some not as healthy food but still sticking to my calories. My ex is an alcoholic, and I went to a lot of AA meetings with him when we were together. In the meetings, they would say "Progress, not perfection."

    I know you can do it! Feel free to add me if you would like. : )
  • Danayle
    Danayle Posts: 74 Member
    My advice is to work on making small changes. Eat two slices of pizza instead of four. Have a grilled chicken burger instead of a hamburger. Take the kids for a walk around the block in the morning and another one at the end of the day. Focus on drinking four glasses of water and slowly up it to eight. Whenever faced with food, look for the "healthier" option. Not healthiest. Healthier.

    Some people may be able to go cold turkey on all the crap and instantly turn into clean eating gurus, but a lot of us who have been eating crap (or eating decently but over-eating or binging on one particular food) need to slowly retrain ourselves about how we view food.

    Focus on the baby steps - I had a salad with dinner, I ate two slices of pizzas not four, I did my walk today even though it was raining. Celebrate every baby step you take and don't focus on the scale. (That will come but you have to be patient)

    I honestly believe that if you do that, the rest follows. Feeling better about yourself and what you're doing becomes the motivation to make even more changes and do even better.

    Good luck!

    p.s. I'm just finally starting to really get this myself but it really feels like something's clicked for me. Hope it does for you too.

    I also agree with this. I knew from past attempts that if i tried to make too many changes at once, I would give up and not stick with it. In general, it's easier to make small changes a little bit a time than to try to change everything at once.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    First of all - congratulations on your committment to a better you! We have all been through (and still go through) the things you describe. And everyone has really good advice for you.

    Something I noticed wasn't mentioned is your exercise - when I began my weight loss journey I did not work out at all. NONE. When you begin a new workout routine it is COMMON to gain up to 4 pounds because your muscles get sore and retain water. No fear - it is most likley water weight for you this past weigh-in. In my experience, weight loss comes from controlling my food, not my exercise.

    So, I am not saying don't work out - but I didn't until I had lost 60% of the weight I wanted to lose. Now I run about 15 miles each week and walk another 5 (so I have activity most days). BUT, I have been on a plateau since I began working out and still can't lose those last 10-12 pounds... at this point, however, I need to get fitter so I will continue to work out and as my body adjusts I am certain the pounds will go away.

    PLUS - you can measure more than just weight to see results. For example, I have been on that plateau I mentioned, but have lost 3.5% body fat in the same time period. So, the scale does not tell the whole story.

    Hnag in there and keep moving forward and it will all begin to work in your favor! :)

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