Possible Issue with a Personal Trainer...
TheTrimTim
Posts: 220 Member
Hey! I need some advice. I've been working with a Personal Trainer (PT) for around 8 weeks now and I've made some good progress and I've certainly seen some muscle and definition gains (my goal). We get on pretty well too but it's more polite chit-chat than friends/buddies (but I imagine that's good - after all, he is getting paid to work me!) My pre-paid sessions are almost over and I need to consider renewing.
The problem is he has just split up with his girlfriend of 2+ years (whom is also a PT at the same gym as him, and they live together) and he seemed a little distracted during the last PT session we had. Obviously I have sympathy for his situation but sympathy won't get me the PT benefits I'm looking for.
Ideally I would like to sign up for another series of PT sessions with him but I'm worried about him being distracted (at least in the short term) but also as his ex-partner works at the gym, he could possibly move on and leave me in the lurch.
At the same time, it's also hard to consider changing to another PT, not only because I need find someone I like but also because I'm sure it takes a little time for a PT to understand my strengths/weakness/goals, etc. and then finally because my current PT will be there too so changing PTs in a gym could be awkward.
Thoughts, comments and advice would be appreciated.
The problem is he has just split up with his girlfriend of 2+ years (whom is also a PT at the same gym as him, and they live together) and he seemed a little distracted during the last PT session we had. Obviously I have sympathy for his situation but sympathy won't get me the PT benefits I'm looking for.
Ideally I would like to sign up for another series of PT sessions with him but I'm worried about him being distracted (at least in the short term) but also as his ex-partner works at the gym, he could possibly move on and leave me in the lurch.
At the same time, it's also hard to consider changing to another PT, not only because I need find someone I like but also because I'm sure it takes a little time for a PT to understand my strengths/weakness/goals, etc. and then finally because my current PT will be there too so changing PTs in a gym could be awkward.
Thoughts, comments and advice would be appreciated.
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Replies
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Talk to him.
All these maybes, he could also get hit by lightning, so get a new trainer.0 -
I would have a heart-to-heart chat with the PT. Clearly you are benefiting from the services provided under their guidance. However, there is a professional line that needs to be drawn vs personal line.
I work with a Team Leader here at work. What an amazing woman! She asked me at one point if I believed in a supervisor being friends with the people she works with... I said ABSOLUTELY... so long as both parties have a clear understanding about when its work time and when its friend-time and not cross that line unless absolutely necessary and both parties agree.
You have a financial expense involved so there is a professional line being crossed by the personal trainer... maybe he is not aware of it? They could be so caught up in the hooplah that they just need to say "WHOA, sorry about that! I didnt realize"...
Sounds innocent in my mind. However, having said that, you as a client need to know if this PT is going to be 'all in' or riding the 'highway to hell' and out of there.
The PT sounds like a decent person so have your heart to heart talk with them.. just be honest and see where it goes, hun!0 -
You summed this one up yourself...he is getting paid to work for you. If he is a professional, he will leave his personal problems at home. I'd chalk up your last session to a bad day (for him); we've all had bad days. There is a good possibility that going forward, he will put even more effort into his job to distract himself from the personal stuff and you will have even better sessions.0
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Give dude a break. Its rough, you obviously recognize that. I would give it a little bit and try to talk to him. You never know until you ask, and sometimes it means a whole lot to people just to show that you care. If he starts to talk about leaving the gym or anything like that that would lead to affecting you, then at least let him know how you feel about it and find another trainer.0
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Tough situation. I had a trainer I adored and had worked with for nearly a year, then one day I got a call that he had quit giving no notice. No phone call from him, no good-bye. It upset me, but I was able to move on to a new trainer with whom I also clicked. He just left a few weeks ago, so I"m on to trainer #3. I have learned new techniques from each person, and would not hesitate to try out someone new as needed. Just remember these sessions are for YOU, not the trainer, and if you're not getting what you need, talk to the Gym management and move on to someone else. I agree with other responders that you should express your concerns to the trainer at your next visit.0
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Build a bond with him by asking him about it.. Hey man, I am sorry about your situation, but I noticed you are more distracted lately. Do you plan on changing gyms? Etc... Sorry, I always feel honesty is the best route even if it is a little painful. If it hurts, then you are growing right?
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Do you still need a PT, after working with one for a while, or could you now go it alone?0
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Can you just pay per week or per lesson for a little while?0
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Don't worry about the awkwardness of switching personal trainers. Ultimately, they need to be professional and realize that it's your money and you are going to put it where it's best.
I have switched PT's a couple times but still maintain good relationships with the former ones.0 -
Give it time. If he is consistently distracted, then I'd consider finding a different PT. We all have those days and yes, he is in a sh*tty predicament.0
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I'd just talk to him and say that you really enjoy working out with him and that you would like to keep it up but that you've noticed him being distracted recently and that you undarstand his situation but need a 100% commitment from him. That's it.0
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Also, It's actually good to change trainers from time to time. Each of them will give you and tell you something else.0
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Hey! I need some advice. I've been working with a Personal Trainer (PT) for around 8 weeks now and I've made some good progress and I've certainly seen some muscle and definition gains (my goal). We get on pretty well too but it's more polite chit-chat than friends/buddies (but I imagine that's good - after all, he is getting paid to work me!) My pre-paid sessions are almost over and I need to consider renewing.
The problem is he has just split up with his girlfriend of 2+ years (whom is also a PT at the same gym as him, and they live together) and he seemed a little distracted during the last PT session we had. Obviously I have sympathy for his situation but sympathy won't get me the PT benefits I'm looking for.
Ideally I would like to sign up for another series of PT sessions with him but I'm worried about him being distracted (at least in the short term) but also as his ex-partner works at the gym, he could possibly move on and leave me in the lurch.
At the same time, it's also hard to consider changing to another PT, not only because I need find someone I like but also because I'm sure it takes a little time for a PT to understand my strengths/weakness/goals, etc. and then finally because my current PT will be there too so changing PTs in a gym could be awkward.
Thoughts, comments and advice would be appreciated.
Talk to him about it.
Be as direct or as polite as you naturally are... dont try to act/be something you're not... Just bring it up, and he'll refocus on you.... and if he doesnt after a bit of a reminder, then you have a reason to change.... and he would know why.0 -
Hey! I need some advice. I've been working with a Personal Trainer (PT) for around 8 weeks now and I've made some good progress and I've certainly seen some muscle and definition gains (my goal). We get on pretty well too but it's more polite chit-chat than friends/buddies (but I imagine that's good - after all, he is getting paid to work me!) My pre-paid sessions are almost over and I need to consider renewing.
The problem is he has just split up with his girlfriend of 2+ years (whom is also a PT at the same gym as him, and they live together) and he seemed a little distracted during the last PT session we had. Obviously I have sympathy for his situation but sympathy won't get me the PT benefits I'm looking for.
Ideally I would like to sign up for another series of PT sessions with him but I'm worried about him being distracted (at least in the short term) but also as his ex-partner works at the gym, he could possibly move on and leave me in the lurch.
At the same time, it's also hard to consider changing to another PT, not only because I need find someone I like but also because I'm sure it takes a little time for a PT to understand my strengths/weakness/goals, etc. and then finally because my current PT will be there too so changing PTs in a gym could be awkward.
Thoughts, comments and advice would be appreciated.
Break ups are not easy. Have you ever experienced one? I understand what people say when they comment "Leave the personal problems at home" but we are human and we have feelings. If it was that easy, don't you think we would do it? I know personally, if my husband and I get into a spat in the morning before I leave for work, it's on my mind until it's resolved. If you really weren't happy with the last session, you could also be up front and honest with him and maybe ask for one additional session at no charge? Take it easy on him and just be honest.0 -
Hi Trim :-) Nice to see you out here.
Personally, I would not mention the distraction, if it was a one-off thing. We all have bad days. If it has become a regular thing, I would make it a point of discussion before entering into another contract with him. Approach the new block of sessions as you would any business deal. Ask your questions up front. Define your goals up front. Your goals may have shifted slightly since embarking on this PT journey. Asking what will happen in the event that either of you leave the gym, is a valid question of any and every trainer. You have a professional relationship. Keep your questions professional and clarify your goals. If anything, a discussion of your goals may serve as a reminder to him that he is not there just to count reps and change weights. He is there for a bigger picture.0 -
Hi Trim :-) Nice to see you out here.
Personally, I would not mention the distraction, if it was a one-off thing. We all have bad days. If it has become a regular thing, I would make it a point of discussion before entering into another contract with him. Approach the new block of sessions as you would any business deal. Ask your questions up front. Define your goals up front. Your goals may have shifted slightly since embarking on this PT journey. Asking what will happen in the event that either of you leave the gym, is a valid question of any and every trainer. You have a professional relationship. Keep your questions professional and clarify your goals. If anything, a discussion of your goals may serve as a reminder to him that he is not there just to count reps and change weights. He is there for a bigger picture.
I agree with LovePBandJ. If it was a one-off thing, it could be really awkward for both of you to bring it up. The other bit advice I have is that in my experience, a good trainer can be hard to find. If you really click with this guy, give him some time. If you jump ship you may end up playing musical trainers for weeks trying to find a replacement. Whatever happens, good luck! 0 -
Now see I do not have a PT but my gym makes you upon signing have a "Fit Consultation" which is just a way to sell you sessions but to me this is bad for business in that when I choose not to sign up with a specific trainer then I feel like guilty somehow so when I see the guy at the gym almost each time I go, I feel uncomfortable. Not same problem you have just saying.0
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if you think he will move on after taking your money, dont pre-pay0
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First off, you are paying him to train you... he isnt paying you to be his therapist. He should have never told you those things.
That isnt "chit-chat"
Now, that being said.. why not ask him? Its not like you are prying.. he told you these things, right? So ask what his intentions are!0 -
You could talk to him about your concerns or just do not pre-pay and see how it goes.0
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If this were me, and this guy seems distracted during my session, I would not continue to utilize his services. I would not want to waste my money. But I would talk to him first and let him know what I'm thinking and give him a chance. One chance. After that, I would imagine it's time to find another trainer, or maybe better yet, just go it alone. After all, what does he provide that you can't do yourself? If you need a spotter, maybe a lifting buddy is all that you really need.0
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Talk to him. But remember too that a lot of PTs don't stick around at the same gym that long anyway and the fact that you've had him for this long is pretty good. I had the same one for 3 months and he recently left and now I have a new one. While it's taking some getting used to, I appreciate that he's working completely different muscles now than I did in the past. So it might really be time for you to move on to a new one anyway. Either way, I hope it works out for you! 0
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He had ONE session with you where he seemed distracted, I don't know if that's enough to drop him over if overall he's getting you the results you want.
Why don't you say, "hey I know you're going through a lot and I'm really sorry. I just don't think I got a lot out of our last session, do you think there's anything we could change?"0 -
Hi Trim :-) Nice to see you out here.
Personally, I would not mention the distraction, if it was a one-off thing. We all have bad days. If it has become a regular thing, I would make it a point of discussion before entering into another contract with him. Approach the new block of sessions as you would any business deal. Ask your questions up front. Define your goals up front. Your goals may have shifted slightly since embarking on this PT journey. Asking what will happen in the event that either of you leave the gym, is a valid question of any and every trainer. You have a professional relationship. Keep your questions professional and clarify your goals. If anything, a discussion of your goals may serve as a reminder to him that he is not there just to count reps and change weights. He is there for a bigger picture.
I agree with LovePBandJ. If it was a one-off thing, it could be really awkward for both of you to bring it up. The other bit advice I have is that in my experience, a good trainer can be hard to find. If you really click with this guy, give him some time. If you jump ship you may end up playing musical trainers for weeks trying to find a replacement. Whatever happens, good luck!
This is business, not a friendship. If he's a good trainer, maybe take a few weeks off and train on your own then book a session and see if he's still distracted. If he is deal with it then. Don't waste your money taking time talking. You signed a contract and he should know what it expected from the contract. Keep it business.0 -
Tell him to man up.0
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I know you are paying him to work for you, but why not talk to him like one guy to the other? Is he someone you could see yourself hanging out with if he wasn't your trainer? Just suggest some guy time either for himself or offer to be his wingman one night. Tell him he will owe you a free session if you help him forget about the x for a night. I guarantee it will at least get a conversation going and he will feel more relaxed in general. She could really be messing with his head, his job...anything could be going on when a broken-up couple works in the same place.
Give him a break. Especially if he has been good for you thus far.0 -
<<< Yes this picture is really me and I'm not a fitness model or coach, and I achieve my 60lb fat loss and built muscle without a coach or personal trainer.Hey! I need some advice. I've been working with a Personal Trainer (PT) for around 8 weeks now and I've made some good progress and I've certainly seen some muscle and definition gains (my goal). We get on pretty well too but it's more polite chit-chat than friends/buddies (but I imagine that's good - after all, he is getting paid to work me!) My pre-paid sessions are almost over and I need to consider renewing.
The problem is he has just split up with his girlfriend of 2+ years (whom is also a PT at the same gym as him, and they live together) and he seemed a little distracted during the last PT session we had. Obviously I have sympathy for his situation but sympathy won't get me the PT benefits I'm looking for.
Ideally I would like to sign up for another series of PT sessions with him but I'm worried about him being distracted (at least in the short term) but also as his ex-partner works at the gym, he could possibly move on and leave me in the lurch.
At the same time, it's also hard to consider changing to another PT, not only because I need find someone I like but also because I'm sure it takes a little time for a PT to understand my strengths/weakness/goals, etc. and then finally because my current PT will be there too so changing PTs in a gym could be awkward.
Thoughts, comments and advice would be appreciated.
You can achieve your goals without a coach or personal trainer. I've seen countless people pay thousands of dollars for this and it didn't help them. I did it on my own (well with a couple of $40 dollar books). I put all the tips I learned from the books here so you don't even have to buy them. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/740340-i-lost-60-lbs-at-age-51-anyone-can-any-workout0 -
Talk to him, or see how it goes in your next session. Despite being a professional and despite you paying him, he's human, we all have bad days. You can't tell me that everyday you're at work you're giving it 110%, no one does that, and if you say you do, you're lying. Who knows, it could have nothing to do with the breakup, he could have been sick, or have other things going on. One bad session isn't a reason to "fire" someone, its like saying if you come to PT feeling tired or sick on day and don't give it your all he should terminate with you, its silly.
Also, you should look at your need for a trainer at this point, you've been working out with him for that long, you should have learned something that he's been doing with you, and could probably do the workouts on your own.0 -
Take a break from the pt. You should know enough to get by for a month. Then go see where his head is at.0
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Tell him to man up.
Punch him in the balls0
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