weight loss and social impacts

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BaristaX
BaristaX Posts: 151 Member
in Chit-Chat
so, to make a long story short, when I was at a whopping 293-298 lbs, I would be with a group of people (a mixture of best friends and people who are just acquaintance), most times I would be that person that was least talked to and find myself just hanging around my closer friends staying quiet and not saying a word, fearing that the combination of my looks and speaking my mind would give me and even more negative image.

and now, after dropping to 182 lbs, in the same scenario, people that would not have taken their time to talk to me, now just suddenly come up and start conversations, of course I talk with them, but in my mind I am thinking "why would you talk to me now, when you normally ignore me at our friend's birthday?"

overall, I still feel good knowing my health issues have drastically been reduced, also having more confidence, and knowing I accomplished something that a few people said I wouldn't accomplish.

but I am curious if there are others like me in the same boat, that after losing some weight, people have been giving you more compliments and attention, but because of that, make you feel a bit negative, because you know, normally, they wouldn't have been complimenting you or giving you the time of day had you not lost the weight?

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  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Nope, I am pretty good at sniffing out fake people.
  • scarlett781978
    scarlett781978 Posts: 1
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    Do you think that maybe with your new confidence you are more approachable now?
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    Yup! I'm in the exact same boat. However, along with my weightloss I received a huge confidence boost. A lot of my friends tell me that I'm more approachable with that confidence. So maybe it's the same with you. People are attracted to confidence.
    Edit: I see the person above me said the same exact thing...so it must be true! :-)
  • v_addison
    v_addison Posts: 114 Member
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    Exactly the same thing has happened to me. It's so sad to realize you have so many superficial people in your life.
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
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    No, girls still don't like it when I watch them though their windows :(
  • chubalina
    chubalina Posts: 30 Member
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    My husband recently lost about 50 lbs and he has mentioned to me that people such as the receptionists in his doctor office that he visits monthly never gave him the time of day and now they start up convo's with him. He also said just in general people (even stangers) are much nicer to him now that he is no longer obese. It's sad how shallow people really are.
  • turboturtlepower
    turboturtlepower Posts: 79
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    I was in your shoes, too. I went from 247 to 138 (but unfortunately back up to 161) and most men would slam doors in my face EVEN WITH all three of my kids with me, and when I was at my thinnest I almost always had men smiling at me, or holding doors for me. Really sucks, but I sympathize. People are shallow!
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
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    Opposite for me, actually. I get less attention and conversation, it seems, since I've lost the weight.
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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    I noticed the same thing when I lost weight.
  • WABeachWalker
    WABeachWalker Posts: 133 Member
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    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your fantastic weight loss!

    Next, the kind of discrimination you describe unfortunately exists everywhere. Sad, isn't it, that we are judged by our appearance? I think one way we can change this is to be the kind of person who approaches everyone at a gathering and spends at least a few minutes getting to know the people there. You may not remember everyone afterward, but the people who spent a few minutes with you will never forget you.
    :smile:
  • arcticfox04
    arcticfox04 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Personally I enjoy weighing alot less. Other hand I get asked way too many questions on how by the same people DAILY. It gets real annoying really fast. I'd rather talk about the weather at this point.
  • Landi_55
    Landi_55 Posts: 5
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    "No, girls still don't like it when I watch them though their windows :("

    LOL!
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    Do you think that maybe with your new confidence you are more approachable now?

    In all honesty, I don't like having conversation with people that barely talk. Sitting in the corner barely offering up a word is the best way to make sure people don't approach you. I know many people (even of average weight) who are like this.
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
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    Exactly the same thing has happened to me. It's so sad to realize you have so many superficial people in your life.

    I don’t know about most people, but I don’t just randomly compliment people for no reason.

    If I happen to notice that someone has lost a lot of weight, and I’m reasonably certain that they wanted to lose that weight, I might compliment them on their progress.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    neussy.gif
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
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    Congrats on your loss!

    In my personal opinion, I am definitely more confident in myself now I have lost and really don't mind people approaching me or talking to me and I think that's what makes the difference.
    I was a different person before, I would sit in a corner and wouldn't talk to anyone because I wasn't confident in how I looked and how I thought of myself and I don't think people find you approachable when you're doing that. :/

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